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I need help.

A

Alyshakm

New member
Joined
Oct 29, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Uk
I’m struggling to know where to even start. ive been struggling with depression and anxiety for about 7 years now and seems to be getting worse and worse. But I also struggle with something else, i continuously keep hurting my family.
I’ve lied to them, I’ve stole money and jewellery from them and I honestly could not tell you why.
it’s got to a point where I don’t want them to see me because I am ashamed of what I’ve done and how much I have hurt them.
but I don’t know how to right all of the wrongs I have done. I don’t know how to get help or see if there is help out there for me to get to stop pushing and hurting the people that mean the most to me is world.
I’ve never had the thoughts of not being here but I’m starting to think if I wasn’t here they wouldn’t have this issue they wouldn’t have to think about me or hate me for what I have done. I am a mess for what I have done and I don’t know how to even begin to sort this.
or even if I can.

I can’t stop being upset about it and it’s making me worse, but how do I stop? How do I make things better with my family? I’m not expecting them to be great straight away but how to I begin?
Yes I know some people will read this and just think wow what a heartless cow and you would be right. What kind of person would do that to their family. I’m so messed up and I don’t know what to do.
 
D

Darlene_MR

Member
Joined
Oct 29, 2019
Messages
13
Location
Spain
First of all, here is a safe place where you won't be judged.
I am sorry if I am asking this, why do you think you are doing it then? DO you have any idea at all? Are you also stealing money from others? How do you feel the moment you are doing it? In what are you spending the money that you have stolen? I am not trying to interrogate you, I am just trying to figure it out what could be happening to you.
Have you tried to discuss this with your doctor?
Take care, please.
 
Urban Hermit

Urban Hermit

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 18, 2019
Messages
2,847
I’m struggling to know where to even start. ive been struggling with depression and anxiety for about 7 years now and seems to be getting worse and worse. But I also struggle with something else, i continuously keep hurting my family.
I’ve lied to them, I’ve stole money and jewellery from them and I honestly could not tell you why.
it’s got to a point where I don’t want them to see me because I am ashamed of what I’ve done and how much I have hurt them.
but I don’t know how to right all of the wrongs I have done. I don’t know how to get help or see if there is help out there for me to get to stop pushing and hurting the people that mean the most to me is world.
I’ve never had the thoughts of not being here but I’m starting to think if I wasn’t here they wouldn’t have this issue they wouldn’t have to think about me or hate me for what I have done. I am a mess for what I have done and I don’t know how to even begin to sort this.
or even if I can.

I can’t stop being upset about it and it’s making me worse, but how do I stop? How do I make things better with my family? I’m not expecting them to be great straight away but how to I begin?
Yes I know some people will read this and just think wow what a heartless cow and you would be right. What kind of person would do that to their family. I’m so messed up and I don’t know what to do.
Are you getting any professional advice and support ? Xx
 
T

ThisGirlDepression

New member
Joined
May 10, 2019
Messages
1
Location
Belgium
I get it, I constantly hurt my friends and my family and generally act like a big asshole. I have professional help and they told me the reason I’m doing this is I try to push them away. Because either I’m afraid to get hurt by them or I hurt them. I’m also very suicidal and have tried it twice and my psychiatrist says i just make people like me less so I don’t have to worry about them dealing of the aftermath of my suicide. Maybe you feel something similar?
 
A

AuraSunset

Active member
Joined
Oct 27, 2019
Messages
29
Location
UK
First of all, never think that you not being here would be easier for your family. It wouldn't be, at all. You're going through a tough time with them right now, and you have some work to do on your relationship with them, but the way to put things right is to do just that; work on it.
You could start by seeing your doctor and talking to them about your depression and anxiety. They will probably refer you to the mental health team. Once you have some support in place, tell your family you know you've done wrong, but that you're taking steps to work through your problems. And if they want to see you, try to let them. You need the chance to slowly earn back their trust.
 
A

Alyshakm

New member
Joined
Oct 29, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Uk
First of all, here is a safe place where you won't be judged.
I am sorry if I am asking this, why do you think you are doing it then? DO you have any idea at all? Are you also stealing money from others? How do you feel the moment you are doing it? In what are you spending the money that you have stolen? I am not trying to interrogate you, I am just trying to figure it out what could be happening to you.
Have you tried to discuss this with your doctor?
Take care, please.
thank you for your kind words, i have no idea why i do it and i want to stop. i havent taken anything since i wrote this. i have never taken money or anything from anyone else, it has just been my family members. the thing is when ive tried asking myself this but my head just goes blank. there is nothing i think when i do it. all i buy is crap, its nothing significant really. food maybe, or to pay for my bus pass. i wouldnt know what to say to my doctor. i know i need to gather the guts to do it but its just the thought of being judged i think and admitting it to someone face to face.
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
513
Well, it is obvious you have to control this behavior or you will have a difficult time reconciling with them. However, if you are able to control it, you can ask for their forgiveness. Then you also must forgive yourself. We all do things that are not the right thing to do, or irrational at times. The issue is that you must be able to stop doing them, then the healing process can begin.
 
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