I need help.

burt tomato

burt tomato

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#1
I have realised that my anxiety is a big issue for me. It is affecting my work and relationships.

Today at work, boss asked me a question and as soon as that happened my mind went blank and did not know what to say. BUT I did understand what I was doing, I just went blank because of anxiety.

I am thinking of going to a counsellor locally. I have found one who looks calm and friendly.

Does anyone have any tips for me?
 
Foxjo

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#2
Oh burt
Sorry to hear about your anxiety flaring up. You are so capable of doing the job you just need to stop listening to your negative thoughts and start praising yourself more.

You have been doing so well lately. Try and remember that. I know it's not easy to do.
When your having an anxiety attack can you take a time out find a quiet place to practice some mindfulness? I know this has helped me at times. Takes a bit of practice but might help?

Hugs
fox
 
burt tomato

burt tomato

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Oh burt
Sorry to hear about your anxiety flaring up. You are so capable of doing the job you just need to stop listening to your negative thoughts and start praising yourself more.

You have been doing so well lately. Try and remember that. I know it's not easy to do.
When your having an anxiety attack can you take a time out find a quiet place to practice some mindfulness? I know this has helped me at times. Takes a bit of practice but might help?

Hugs
fox
Thanks fox.

I think my anxiety got worse since I stopped work and was at home for 7 years. In my previous job my anxiety was not so bad. But I do feel it is something that has been with me all my life.

I get so anxious with potential dates, that means I have been single most of my life.

Also at work I get anxious about everything. Do you think a counsellor is a good idea?
 
Foxjo

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#4
I do think a counsellor would be a good idea. I'm a strong believer in talking therapies. You can ask your gp to refer you on the NHS so there is no cost to you.
 
burt tomato

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#5
I do think a counsellor would be a good idea. I'm a strong believer in talking therapies. You can ask your gp to refer you on the NHS so there is no cost to you.
I just completed a self-referral form for my local area. Hopefully I will get help. If it is no good, I will go private. Thanks foxjo.
 
starrynite

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#6
I agree that seeing a counselor is a good idea. So many of us suffer with anxiety due to abuses, traumas, dysfunctional relationships, etc. from our past. Our amygdala becomes overactive and reactionary. Talking to a professional who can help you process your anxiety is very helpful. He or she will help you learn new behavioral and thought patterns. I don't know if you like to read but I'm reading a really good book right now called Anxious by Max Lucado. I also read Rethink How You Think by Dr. David Stoop. I have made it my habit to always be reading a self help book or a book on the brain. I have learned so much about how the brain works, what causes anxiety, etc. I hope you find a good counselor.
 
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Hi BT sorry to read about your anxiety, I was born anxious! seriously it was so bad I eventually as a last resort went for hypnotherapy, it was a last resort as I was anxious that I would be put in a trance and made to eat onions( saw that on tv once) no no that's not what it is like and honestly it saved my soul, that was about 25 years ago, I had a relapse last year and went for more hypnotherapy, I still get a bit anxious but no way to the degree I did (Sertraline helps too) Iv had methods installed in my head that when I'm faced with an anxious situation I can cope and not think ' oh my god I'm going to die right here on the spot' as we all know the mind is such a complex thing, it's not for everyone but just my tuppence worth BT, be so proud of yourself going out to work.
 
burt tomato

burt tomato

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#8
I agree that seeing a counselor is a good idea. So many of us suffer with anxiety due to abuses, traumas, dysfunctional relationships, etc. from our past. Our amygdala becomes overactive and reactionary. Talking to a professional who can help you process your anxiety is very helpful. He or she will help you learn new behavioral and thought patterns. I don't know if you like to read but I'm reading a really good book right now called Anxious by Max Lucado. I also read Rethink How You Think by Dr. David Stoop. I have made it my habit to always be reading a self help book or a book on the brain. I have learned so much about how the brain works, what causes anxiety, etc. I hope you find a good counselor.
Funnily enough I did have a look on Amazon, and searched for books. I did not know which one to choose. I will check out the titles you mentioned.

My anxiety is improving, but I really want to work on this to improve my life.
 
burt tomato

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#9
Hi BT sorry to read about your anxiety, I was born anxious! seriously it was so bad I eventually as a last resort went for hypnotherapy, it was a last resort as I was anxious that I would be put in a trance and made to eat onions( saw that on tv once) no no that's not what it is like and honestly it saved my soul, that was about 25 years ago, I had a relapse last year and went for more hypnotherapy, I still get a bit anxious but no way to the degree I did (Sertraline helps too) Iv had methods installed in my head that when I'm faced with an anxious situation I can cope and not think ' oh my god I'm going to die right here on the spot' as we all know the mind is such a complex thing, it's not for everyone but just my tuppence worth BT, be so proud of yourself going out to work.
Thanks emmzz. I am glad to be working, not sure if I am proud yet, but maybe that will come in its own time.

I think I have been anxious all my life too. It can be overwhelming at times, especially in social situations.

It is something for me to work on. I don't really want to take any more meds, so will give counselling and reading books a go.
 
starrynite

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Funnily enough I did have a look on Amazon, and searched for books. I did not know which one to choose. I will check out the titles you mentioned.

My anxiety is improving, but I really want to work on this to improve my life.
The website unlearninganxiety has been a big help to me also.
 
burt tomato

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#11
As an update - I was rejected for talking therapies because i have a serious mental health disorder. There is a strong sense of irony there I think.

My anxiety is improving at work but i did have an attack today. I was discussing an issue with a colleage and I could not get my words out, I just came out with gibberesh. :LOL:

I get my first pay check on thursday so perhaps will think about paying for a therapist. will need to work out my budget.
 
Mayflower7

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#12
Hi Burt,
Sorry you were rejected for talking therapies.
I too have anxiety, depression and schizophrenia. I was offered CBT for my pain, I declined the offer.
Hope you feel better soon.
Take care
 
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#13
I have realised that my anxiety is a big issue for me. It is affecting my work and relationships.

Today at work, boss asked me a question and as soon as that happened my mind went blank and did not know what to say.
I experienced exactly the same thing once at University. We were two minutes from the end of a seminar and the lecturer suddenly turned to me and said "you haven't said much, what do you think?" He caught me off guard and my mind went blank, totally and utterly blank. If you had asked me my name, I couldn't have told you. For what seemed like eternity I just sat there and said nothing. Eventually, a few people began to giggle. Even as I type this I am blushing:redface: At the time my social anxiety was horrendously bad.
 
burt tomato

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#14
I experienced exactly the same thing once at University. We were two minutes from the end of a seminar and the lecturer suddenly turned to me and said "you haven't said much, what do you think?" He caught me off guard and my mind went blank, totally and utterly blank. If you had asked me my name, I couldn't have told you. For what seemed like eternity I just sat there and said nothing. Eventually, a few people began to giggle. Even as I type this I am blushing:redface: At the time my social anxiety was horrendously bad.
Don't beat yourself up about it. I get anxiety really bad. Even just visitors to my home can make me clam up and I don't know what to say. It is really weird.

Did you anxiety improve over time then?
 
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#15
Hi Burt tomato

It's a horrible feeling when that happens, your mind goes blank. I have tried to do visualisation exercises regarding a blank mind strike. Basically, instead of just having that distant glare in your eyes that you feel you are showing the person waiting for an answer, I visualise myself saying simply, sorry my mind has gone blank.


I know it feels like the world has stopped turning when it happens, but everyone suffers from their mind going blank now and then, so to just say shouldn't be a big deal to anyone to hear.

Also I just think to myself, the next time my mind goes blank I would like to say, sorry my mind has just gone blank. I think it to myself whenever I can and I don't put any pressure on myself to remember to think it.

I have tried this method of thinking regarding excess food, and it took six months, but it's worked. I could easily eat a whole sharing packet of chocolate buttons, but now I only eat a quarter of the packet.





I know what I have said sounds dead obvious and dead simple, but it's better than nothing.
 
burt tomato

burt tomato

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#16
I am glad it worked for you. I will try it next time. Usually I am able to talk but it is just gibberesh or something really dumb. I come out with dumb things all the time.
 
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Phoenix76

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#17
Did you anxiety improve over time then?
Yes, hugely. I was about 22 at the time. Now I'm 41. How old are you Burt Tomato? One of the big upsides to ageing (in fact, the only upside:rolleyes:) is that you care less and less what other people think of you. And, in my experience, anxiety itself diminishes. I have read that personality disorders, for example, often improve with age. I have also read that social anxiety tends to peak at 14 and then again at around 18. After that it (slowly) diminishes. That has certainly been my experience. In other words, hang in there, there is hope.:)
 
burt tomato

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#18
Yes, hugely. I was about 22 at the time. Now I'm 41. How old are you Burt Tomato? One of the big upsides to ageing (in fact, the only upside:rolleyes:) is that you care less and less what other people think of you. And, in my experience, anxiety itself diminishes. I have read that personality disorders, for example, often improve with age. I have also read that social anxiety tends to peak at 14 and then again at around 18. After that it (slowly) diminishes. That has certainly been my experience. In other words, hang in there, there is hope.:)
I am 43. Actually I think my time out of the workplace has made my anxiety worse. I was a lot more carefree when I was working in my 30s. When on benefits I got huge anxiety of what my future would be. At least when you are working you have a decent income. That made me anxiety sky rocket. I guess it just transferred to this new job I started.

I am glad your anxiety has got better now. Mine has been slowly improving me, but all the rules at my workplace make my head spin. I just need to find a new job.
 

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