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I need help understanding

T

trixie21

New member
Joined
Aug 23, 2009
Messages
4
First of all I would like to say hello to you all and thankyou for reading this post and I hope that someone may beable to help me with my situation. I am sorry if I ramble on abit.

I myself do not suffer from depression but my boyfiend (?) does, heres the thing we have been together for 13 years and have a wonderfull 2 year old son. He has been suffering from depression for a year and half and on Thursday afternoon he left the house fine but came back a completly different person, he said that he no longer loves me or has any feelings for me, he has now moved in with his mother I am absoltly devestated and is all very much out of the blue. All is family are also devestated by this news as we was happy and everyone just assumed that our relationship was for good, But the things is from what his family have told me he is acting like the one who has been dumped, he hasn't eaten, bathed, changed his clothes and just stares into space. Like I said I am completly devestated but also very worried for him and just don't understand his behaviour. Why is acting like this when it is his choice to end our relationship, nobody can get any sense out of him at all which is why I have come here in hope that some one can understand what he is thinking because even though he has said that he no longer loves me I am still very much inlove with him and am very worried.
 
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trixie21

New member
Joined
Aug 23, 2009
Messages
4
Please if there is anyone at all that can give me some advise, I am sorry if I have upset anyone but I am genually concerned because his dad did exactly the same thing 10 years ago, he left the house one day his usual self but came back a completly different person and ended up suffering with extreme paranoa, unfortunatly he has since passed away 8 years ago.
 
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Twylight

Guest
Hello, I would contact his GP
If they won't discuss him on the phone , write to his GP
 
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trixie21

New member
Joined
Aug 23, 2009
Messages
4
He has an apointment this week to see him, but is still on the waiting list to see a councilor, which should hopefully be soon, I know that he has said he doesn't love me anymore etc but it's still so hard to see him like this
 
schiz01

schiz01

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2009
Messages
721
Location
Australia
Hi trixie
Its hard to say what his reasons are but people who aren't well mentally often shut them selves off from the ones they love as well as the rest of the world. Best you can do is encourage him to go get some professional help and maybe when he is feeling better he will tell you why he has done this.
Its hard i know....hopefully someone else can help you more

Ps .....I wouldn't take it his saying he doesn't love you to heart yet ....he may be just saying that to push you away and isolate himself.
 
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trixie21

New member
Joined
Aug 23, 2009
Messages
4
Thanks, he is coming around later to disscuss our son and collect his things, I am going to try and have a talk with him, but obviously I wont push him and I wont mention anything other than our son if I sense that he is not in the right state of mind today.
 
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Twylight

Guest
I know it is extremely difficult to put aside fellings of rejection
BUT if he is not eating, he is dangerous to himself
I would write a letter to his GP anyway - explaining this - Today !
Sort of 'Belt and Braces '
 
C

carer

New member
Joined
Aug 25, 2009
Messages
1
Trixie

I am in the same position as you, although he is still here in body.

What you describe as symptoms is what my partner is going through.

I have made an appointment with the doctor on thursday, I hope it is not too late.

Its like he is on self-destruct, destroying everything in his path, that includes us.

I can't find anyone professional to talk to, like an advice centre, I live near Edinburgh if anyone can help.
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
Sorry that you are going through this trixie; I can identify with that state he is in that you describe.
 
Neferakhet

Neferakhet

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 13, 2009
Messages
86
Location
Beyond the Styx
First of all I would like to say hello to you all and thankyou for reading this post and I hope that someone may beable to help me with my situation. I am sorry if I ramble on abit.

I myself do not suffer from depression but my boyfiend (?) does, heres the thing we have been together for 13 years and have a wonderfull 2 year old son. He has been suffering from depression for a year and half and on Thursday afternoon he left the house fine but came back a completly different person, he said that he no longer loves me or has any feelings for me, he has now moved in with his mother I am absoltly devestated and is all very much out of the blue. All is family are also devestated by this news as we was happy and everyone just assumed that our relationship was for good, But the things is from what his family have told me he is acting like the one who has been dumped, he hasn't eaten, bathed, changed his clothes and just stares into space. Like I said I am completly devestated but also very worried for him and just don't understand his behaviour. Why is acting like this when it is his choice to end our relationship, nobody can get any sense out of him at all which is why I have come here in hope that some one can understand what he is thinking because even though he has said that he no longer loves me I am still very much inlove with him and am very worried.
Obviously 1.5 years of depression is taking its toll on him.And probably he is in a traumatic state.Well I think patience might be the key here.Rather contact his parents than contacting him and explain that you didn't dump him or anything.You have to be patient but situation seems pretty hard and serious honestly.
 
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