I need help for my daughter, who is also my carer x

starflower

starflower

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 26, 2009
Messages
418
#1
My youngest daughter who still lives at home is also my carer. She's only 20yrs and although she's been my full time carer for the last six years of her young life, she gets no support herself, except for carers allowance, which only means she can manage to pay her way.

She didn't even find out about young carers until it was too late (under 18's).

She has to put up with so much from me when my mood is really low and I worry about the effect its having on her. She started taking a low dose of citralapam last year (10mg) to help with the anxiety she started getting, because of how ill I get when i'm having one of my really bad spells.

Earlier in 2010 she did have a carers assesment done and she was asked what she thought would be of the greatest help to her. She told them she would just like to have a membership for our local leisure centre, so that she could do lots of different sporting activities. She recieved a reply a couple of months later to say that this would not be possible, but that they would gladly send her on a holiday.

My daughter gets on well with people, but she's certainly not one for going out to pubs, and clubs and a holiday on her own, was just what she didn't want.

I feel that the system really lets carers down they do so much work, and in my case in particular, she has kept me out of hospital for the last 5yrs, except for the odd overdose admission.

I do my best to cover things up for her sometimes and pretend that i'm feeling better than I am, just to ease the pressure she must be under.

I call her my angel, and that's exactly what she is, she also my best friend.

Is there anyone else who is the same situation as me, whereby their young daughter has to be thier carer, and if so, do you know of any organisations that would help her. She needs to get out and about and meet more people of her own age, not just the odd ones she has kept in contact with from school and college.

I love her so much, but I know that the strain I put her under must be truly unbearable for her sometimes.

This will explain how special she is. The other day she asked me if I could member what I was like before I became ill, and I was trying to tell her, and then she said mum I really don't want to know. I have always known you as you are now, your my mum and to me that would nt be you. xxx :)

Sorry for the long post, but this is really important to me, not just at the moment as i'm going through a really bad time again, but because I want whats best for her.
 
E

expressyourself

Member
Joined
Jan 2, 2011
Messages
15
#2
Would it be possible to giver her some regular time out, perhaps someone could step for the time she is away....she sounds wonderful.....

Hard to say without knowing the circumstances and what sort of help you mean? Maybe she could sell the holiday and get membership to that club you were talking about.

I hope things get better for you both.
 
starflower

starflower

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 26, 2009
Messages
418
#3
Yes she is wonderful :) and thanks for the reply. She just taken the puppy out for his walk which she enjoys, she wanted me to go with them but i've been waiting all morning for my cpn to call with regards to an urgent appointment this afternoon to get one of my meds changed.

If and when I do get the phone call and the appointment, I am going to ask them for the support that she needs herself. I know years ago I had a mental health social worker as part of my care team, maybe seeing about getting another would be the best way for them to sort some kind of help for her. She really deserves it, and a million gold medals xx
 

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