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I need help but don’t know what to do

C

Chris65

New member
Joined
Aug 18, 2021
Messages
1
Location
New jersey
Hi, my names chris and I’ve been struggling with depression since I was a kid. I’m 34 now and I… don’t even know where to start. I feel so broken some days I can barely function. Im completely useless unless im given a task and can turn my brain off and do it. I work construction and the mindless repetitive actions are the only thing where I feel I can function. I get home at night and I just sink. I can barely speak some times. I don’t particularly like work but it at least forces me into doing something.

I have no idea how to change. I went to a psychiatrist and got Wellbutrin but it made my extremes so much worse. I need to figure out how to function better. Like I can get home and turn on the tv and sit there for 14 hours no problem. But if I tell myself to read or pick up the guitar, every fiber of my being tells me to just watch the tv, or look at Instagram. I’ve wasted so much of my life and I feel completely out of control. I really don’t have anyone in my life to really talk to and every time I go the medical track I feel like they don’t get what I’m trying to say. I don’t even know what to say. I don’t know what I have but I feel like I’m not a real person. Like I don’t have any type of drive. How can I stop procrastinating? How do I get myself to move? Every time I try I feel awful and don’t get anything accomplished. Im so hopeless.

sorry for rambling. I just need someone to tell me what to do.

thanks
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
11,932
Location
England
Have you read about Dysthymia? Just a thought.

I have depression often so understand what you are describing. Have you tried an antidepressant?
 
H

hairybanana

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 18, 2021
Messages
3,697
Location
Australia
Hi, my names chris and I’ve been struggling with depression since I was a kid. I’m 34 now and I… don’t even know where to start. I feel so broken some days I can barely function. Im completely useless unless im given a task and can turn my brain off and do it. I work construction and the mindless repetitive actions are the only thing where I feel I can function. I get home at night and I just sink. I can barely speak some times. I don’t particularly like work but it at least forces me into doing something.

I have no idea how to change. I went to a psychiatrist and got Wellbutrin but it made my extremes so much worse. I need to figure out how to function better. Like I can get home and turn on the tv and sit there for 14 hours no problem. But if I tell myself to read or pick up the guitar, every fiber of my being tells me to just watch the tv, or look at Instagram. I’ve wasted so much of my life and I feel completely out of control. I really don’t have anyone in my life to really talk to and every time I go the medical track I feel like they don’t get what I’m trying to say. I don’t even know what to say. I don’t know what I have but I feel like I’m not a real person. Like I don’t have any type of drive. How can I stop procrastinating? How do I get myself to move? Every time I try I feel awful and don’t get anything accomplished. Im so hopeless.

sorry for rambling. I just need someone to tell me what to do.

thanks
hey chris, i hear you, i feel for you. I’m in this sort of head space a lot too. I struggle with depression, and this reads a lot like depression to me. I want to say it’s really effing great you’re working and that it’s also a physical kind of role. That’s excellent for your mental health. Though I imagine it must be hard sometimes.

You mentioned you’ve felt depressed since you were a kid, I think that’s probably what you need to look at. Whatever is causing you to feel this probably goes back to childhood. And I can relate to that too.
 
waldo1954

waldo1954

Active member
Joined
Aug 5, 2021
Messages
36
Location
Philippines
I tried wellbutrin before, and it didn't work for me at all. I started lexapro two weeks ago, and I'm really happy with it so far. Good luck!
 
2

2Much2Feel

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
1,972
Location
US
Hey, Chris, so sorry you are going through all this. Think a lot of us understand a lot of what you're describing. I know you said Wellbutrin didn't work for you, but it usually takes a number of tries to get it right. I can't stress enough how much better you can feel if you can get some professional help and get the proper med/med combination. It can really be life changing, even if you feel you'll never, ever be well. Being hopeless is part of it all, you can feel better and deserve to feel better. Do you feel like you can reach out to a psychiatrist and get a proper diagnosis and give another try on meds? Wellbutrin didn't work for me either, btw. It can take a bit.

Welcome to the forum and I really hope you can find some solace here. You're not alone (far from it) and there is hope and help out there. Keep talking here, too, it can be really helpful to relate to others going through it and you get good advice. xx
 
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