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i need help before its too late


sara jane

New member
Jan 6, 2015
my name is sara i'm 25 years old from nigeria, i'm a lesbian and here is so dangerous to be from the lgbt,our law still give death penalty for gay people, i suffered a lot in my life i suffered to be me and to not let them decide my life for me it was so hard and i'm not sure i can describe it with words, it was so painful,so my family now push me to marry a guy and i'm a lesbian -they dont know i'm a lez- my dad keep saying you are too old girl you have to make a family and children i dont ever imagine my self with a guy i dont hate men but i'm a lesbian , when i think i know it's impossible for me to marry or be with a girl here its IMPOSSIBLE so i think i have to spend my life alone and that scare me too much too, but still dont wanna be with a guy just cause i'm afraid of being alone, do you think i have to do what my family want so i make them happy and not be alone and be sad inside forever but not alone at last, or follow my heart even i know i will never be able to do what i want here -i can't emigrate btw- i'm so broken i never knew happiness , what your advice to me? i hope no one here hate me too i think i'm hated enough in all africa...i wrote that and i'm crying .


Well-known member
Oct 12, 2013
I'm sorry for what your going through, I can't even begin to imagine it.
Sorry that I can't be of any help, I just wanted to welcome you, sensible people will be along soon with some trusty advice I'm sure x hugs x sparkly x


Well-known member
Aug 17, 2012
The West Country
I'm so sorry that you're going through this.
I wish everyone in the world were free to love who they wanted to without fear of persecution.

I have to admit, I feel a bit out of my depth trying to give you an answer, because if you were to be who you are openly the consequences are potentially very bad.
However, to live a lie could make you deeply unhappy.

So emigration is definitely not an option for you?

How would it feel to be single and not marry anybody? Would there be shame in being a single woman?


Hi hunny sending you a big cuddle . I'm truly sorry to hear of the predicament you are in . Especially as it's a high price to pay for being nothing other than yourself . Is emigration 100% ruled out ? I'm hesitant to offer advice as it's your well being at stake . Would you be able to be alone and not marry or is marriage the only thing seen as acceptable .? If you stayed in Nigeria and were able to be alone would it make you happier than being in a relationship with a man . ? I'm sorry that you are being faced with these choices and not free to be your whole self . Be safe . Love and hugs xxxx
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Well-known member
Oct 16, 2014
This is tough, being lesbian in a country like nigeria must be hard i can only imagine what you are feeling, here in norway we are faced with so much discrimination towards being different, and this is even considered quite the open country, i would believe nigeria is even worse judging by what you say about the death penalty id say be extremely careful, i wouldnt even reccomend trying to do it in secret, as the risk is way too high.

Im honestly at a loss for useful adwice here, i just want to say stay strong, and dont suppress your feelings, but do not risk your life, but if suppressing your feelings leads to low quality of life, as you cant find a partner then i understand the predicament, and it's a bad situation to be in.

All i can offer is my compassion and understanding about your situation, and wish you the very best, it seems you have a case of being in the wrong country with the wrong preferrence in sex, wrong according to the law that is, and not according to human nature.

If you cant emigrate i dont know what else to tell you, you can either risk alot by living out your innermost feelings, or suppress your feelings and end up sad because of it, i dont believe there is any good adwice to give here.

I can only offer my understanding and compassion, the rest is up to you.
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New member
Jan 5, 2015
Many are called few are chosen to carry such heavy burdens for most would not have come as far as you have already....what would you imagine your Berden being lifted looking like? Impossible burdens have been lifted for countless souls seeking freedom.. some with worse situations than yourself. Tens of thousands of refugees have taken the risk to get into the EU many from east Africa. North , west, and south...This decade there has been a mass exodus of refugees from every corner of the globe. Most make it who believe that it is possible. It is this unearthly determination and power of the human spirit that is the divine essence that creates something out of nothing...There ar2


New member
Jan 5, 2015
As soon as you make a decision to allow yourself to try and achieve this seemimgly impossible distant dream the universe will conspire to assist you in astonishing ways... maybe... its just a suggestion! You could create a gofundme page ? Theres a saying if you belive you receive and if you doubt you go without! By the way what tribe are you? And that of the man? What region do you reside? And why is it you say immigration is impossible?
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