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I need answers

H

Hacan

New member
Joined
Dec 18, 2014
Messages
2
Hello,

My name is Jake, I am a 19 year old student who also works part time.

For a long time I have noticed I've been odd, the way I think and the stuff I've done. I'm going to trying to make this quick and simple. I lack empathy and sympathy and basic emotions. Examples of this is family members dying and me simply not caring, from a girl on my course crying to me about how her dad has had a heart attack, all I could think about was "who cares". I know this is not normal.

Around people it feels like I wear a mask of sanity.

I often find my self getting very bored, I need constant stimulus, I workout at least 10 hours a week, and the only other thing I seem to care about is my looks and how I'm dressed.

I don't seem to care for
My actions and who they effect, I don't understand why I am like this, I was brought up in a wonderful family environment.

I seem to be able to read people very good and use that to my advantage.

How I think, to me thinking of mass murder and killings are normal, yet I know they're not normal, just seem normal to me. I don't want to
Come across as someone who is just looking for attention, I've been wanting amswers for a long time. As a child I use to treat animals very unfairly, but won't go into detail.

I study mental health and have not yet linked any to me, I wouldn't like to think I have one, but my lack of empathy, emotions, sympathy and remorse say otherwise. I welcome any comments that may help me.



Thankyou kindly.
 
Last edited:
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
Hi Jake and welcome to the forum

You don't come across as someone looking for attention, just someone who would like answers. Have you ever talked to anybody properly about how you feel? You clearly have insight and communicate well.

I'm glad you didn't go in to detail regarding the unfairness to animals. Did you do it because you enjoyed doing it?

I'm obviously not a doctor so could not diagnose you. I am curious though. I just wonder, do you feel as though you are better than others, or just different? Do you use deceit and charm to get your own way? Will you take responsibility for your own actions?

I'm sorry for the list of questions. Just trying to get more insight in to what you're going through.
 
H

Hacan

New member
Joined
Dec 18, 2014
Messages
2
Hello,

It was more of an urge, I went from living and caring them to just loosing it, it felt like I had to do it. I felt like I had a right too, like I was superior. The way I feel about others if not that I'm different, but better, I can't explain why I feel like my life is more important then anyone else's. To me people are there to benefit me.

I can't remember a time when I've taken responsibility for my actions, to me I always believe what I say and what I do is right. I seem to be very good at using emotions to get what I want and people to feel sorry for me, I've learnt over the years how to trick people into believing I'm something else. I'll
Often use complements, and snow an interest in an individual to get what I want.

As a reader, I know people will assume im something evil, but to me feeling empathy, sympathy and emotions towards people is a weakness, by allowing yourself to get emotionally attached or care about other people, you're allowing them to control you.
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
I don't think you're evil. You can't help how you are and how you feel, or don't, depending upon the circumstances.

With everything you've said, I'm thinking along the lines of psychopathy/sociopathy. It fits well with many things you've mentioned. I just wonder if it would be worth taking a self testing questionnaire on the Internet. Obviously this still would not give you a diagnosis but might give you more of an idea of what you're going through and help you to understand your issues further.

If you google 'online psychopathy self test' you should find several links to choose from. Channel four ran some very good programmes some time ago in an evening they called psychopath night. It was very interesting - they've also got a test on their website which might be worth checking out.

I hope I've not caused any offense with this post, that is certainly not my intent, I'm just trying to help.

I wish you well.
 
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