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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

I need advise, hope this is the correct forum




1st post other than into.

[I am a male that is very concerned about my wife. I'm 62 she is 57 we have been married about 14 yrs. but have know each around almost 30 yrs.]

We live in a small town in the central valley of California. We live with her 85 yr. old father, which she despises, with good cause. He and his wife were not very good parents. Another thing is that we live with the father due to us having to sell her house, which she had done everything to keep over the years since her divorce. She and a boy friend had over extended and then they split and I came in but I couldn't make up the difference.

Now before I tell you about my wife, I will briefly describe dad and myself. We both are prone to drink, but maintain all the faculties that keep the household going. Dad is a very good bookkeeper and he seldom says anything derogatory to my wife. Once in a while when the house is especially tore up he will say a word or two. I never have raised a hand to the wife but I am a bit more verbal on the same occasions as mentioned above. As far as I am concerned this is my only fault (except in her mind). Yes a dysfunctional household but functioning. Our yard is well maintained and I do all of the Landry, cleaning, mopping, yard work and repairs. Dad is too old and feeble and the wife won't do anything, illustrated below, other than the few days after she goes to her pain Dr.

My wife has a very miserable physical condition RSD [Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy] extreme pain, it happens to be in her shoulders. She also has Irritable bowel, and some Lymph edema in her legs. Oh I forgot Psoriasis. How’s that for a list, more than any one maybe two people should have to bear.
For the last eight years or so these various conditions have gotten worse. Her medication includes oxicontin, roxicontin, durigesic patches, (all morphine type pain killers) Ritalin, and the doses are substantial. She is under the care of a pain specialist but I really wonder if they are aware of how her physical and mental condition has deteriorated.
She is very animated and physically active just after she gets her pills, tears the whole house apart in order to organize it. She will start five or six rooms and all are in total disarray. She will start to organize little her and there but it is so overwhelming that she get tired and discouraged and then nothing much will be done. Oh it might get to a point she shoves the stuff back someplace and the give up. For the next three or three and half weeks she will stay in her hobby room or be asleep, either in bed or the chair in the office (hobby room), this has been going on for about 4 years. By the way her hobby room used to be our office but it has so filled up with junk that I can't even get to the computer anymore.
She has done this (shoved the stuff in to closet etc.) when people used to visit us, with my help. People don't visit anymore. That came about after she would not come out of the bedroom or even acknowledge them if she had to go to the bathroom and they saw her.
Now the question what do you think.

PS boy I fell good getting this on e-paper, had to vent


Your wife needs to see a doctor if she's been behaving like this for such a long time. You do need to talk to a professional as no one here could or would make a diagnosis.


Well-known member
Founding Member
Dec 16, 2007
hiding behind the sofa
It seems that your wife is on a substantial amount of medication and as Dollit says you need to speak to her GP if you think that her mental health has changed


Founding Member
May 23, 2008
Norfolk, UK.
As above. It's always wise to review medications regularly, especially with polypharmacy situations.
Your wife's GP maybe completely unaware of her current behaviour.
Whatever it is, social set ups and relationships will tend to impact and exacerbate any symptoms if particularly stressful; so it might be good to look at social support networks outside of the home e.g. support groups for your wife's current already diagnosed conditions etc.
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