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I Need Advice

C

catlover19

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Sep 10, 2020
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To preface, I struggle with depression and anxiety, so I have trouble handling some situations. My boyfriend and I just really don’t know what to do here. His friend told him that she loves him earlier this evening. He said to her that he has a girlfriend, but she started to threaten to hurt herself if he doesn’t give in to her. He has tried telling her that they can still be in each other’s lives as friends, but it’s not working. I really trust my boyfriend and know he wouldn’t leave me or anything, but it sucks feeling like someone is trying to come in between us. We are scared of her hurting herself and are trying to handle this lightly, but we’re just at a loss. Any advice would be appreciated. <3
 
daffy

daffy

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You cant give in to blackmail like this. If you can cut ties with her i would but if thats not possible tell her that you feel that you should call her doctor or the emergency services and tell them that shes threatened to harm herself and you are worried for her. A lot of people that threaten these thing do them to gain a hold over you. But not in every case so getting help for her could be the jolt that she needs to realise she cant hold you to ransom. Even just suggesting it may bring her to her senses . I guess shes a younger aged person for behaving like this Sorry i cant suggest anything better
 
MarieRose

MarieRose

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Your boyfriend has to report her as a potential suicide risk cannot be ignored.Then force her to seek help elsewhere and reject her.She knows she is crossing boundaries if he has a girlfriend and she knows this and keeps pushing for more then she is in the wrong.If you make allowances she will make more and more demands.The fact she threatenes suicide is emotional blackmail.For her own health and for both yours and your boyfriends safety she has to be firmly rejected.Get her out of your lives or things will get nasty.
 
D

Deleted member 92692

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To preface, I struggle with depression and anxiety, so I have trouble handling some situations. My boyfriend and I just really don’t know what to do here. His friend told him that she loves him earlier this evening. He said to her that he has a girlfriend, but she started to threaten to hurt herself if he doesn’t give in to her. He has tried telling her that they can still be in each other’s lives as friends, but it’s not working. I really trust my boyfriend and know he wouldn’t leave me or anything, but it sucks feeling like someone is trying to come in between us. We are scared of her hurting herself and are trying to handle this lightly, but we’re just at a loss. Any advice would be appreciated. <3
Pass that onto a health professional. Not something you should have to deal with
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Feb 27, 2020
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Nashua NH
I agree with others. This woman is showing tremendous manipulation and disrespect in taking these actions and making these moves towards your boyfriend. That he is concerned about it shows his compassion. He needs to see her as the manipulative and disrespectful person that she is. A friend does not demand that another friend make huge changes in their personal life for them. This person is not a friend. It is a person seeking an intimate relationship with someone who is not available to be in one. She must be cut out in order to protect the healthy relationships he does have. If I were him I would tell her that he cannot see or communicate with her anymore because he is not interested in entertaining her offers. Then he could give her the number for a suicide prevention hotline and wish her the best moving forward in the future. It is not his job to rescue her or allow her to manipulate him further. She must take care of this situation without him. xo, j
 
B

Buna2020

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Oct 14, 2020
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51
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Sacramento
My bf's ex has threatened suicide and he has been afraid ever since. They eventually broke up but she has remained in his life, contacting him every day and always needing him to help her and do things for her. I am not jealous because I trust him and understand why, but she is an annoyance and the power she seems to have over him is frustrating.

I would suggest your bf stop communication and get her to go get help and not allow her to manipulate him like that. Or it could be a lifetime of him having to appease her. For my bf, it's been over 10 years and he is still being manipulated.
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

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My thoughts are she must have issues, and she should have the appropriate help...
 

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