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I need advice

Twinkle14

Twinkle14

Member
Joined
Aug 1, 2020
Messages
16
Location
Northern ireland
I’ve recently been going through a really hard time and I’ve hurt the people I claim to love to the point where there’s no coming back from it. I’d been given chance after chance and got taken into their family got treated like one of the kids and I’ve basically thrown it back in their face. I’m petrified they’re going to kick me out and I’ll have no one but in a way that’s what I feel I deserve. To have nothing and no one as that way the only person I’d be able to hurt is myself and I wouldn’t care about that. I’m so sick of hurting them, I hate myself becuase of it. They’re the most amazing people and I don’t deserve to be around them at all. I just don’t know what to do
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
14,841
Location
England
Hi,
We all make mistakes, you really do deserve happiness and to be around them.
It's probably your illness talking.
Please try to be kind to yourself.
I've argued with my family, we made up and I am better now I'm on meds.
Here to talk.
Hugs
 
Twinkle14

Twinkle14

Member
Joined
Aug 1, 2020
Messages
16
Location
Northern ireland
People make mistakes and then there’s me. It was a mistake for me to ever be on this planet anywhere near them. I’m toxic and a horrible person. It’s past the point of being able to be sorted. It would just be so much easier if I wasn’t here
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
14,841
Location
England
Hi Twinkle,
When we're unwell we do make mistakes, families often understand because they love us.
I'm so sorry your feeling this way, read some of your other posts.
Hope the anti-depressants kick in soon.
I'd ask for some more counselling from your dr?
Your family wouldn't want you not here, they care I'm sure.
I care to, are you feeling suicidal?
Hugs
 
Twinkle14

Twinkle14

Member
Joined
Aug 1, 2020
Messages
16
Location
Northern ireland
I’d taken an overdose a couple weeks ago and spent the night up at a&e as I’d just had enough and thinking about it I hate myself even more for putting them through even more shit.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Joined
May 6, 2017
Messages
4,383
Location
Sheffiield
I'm sorry you're feeling so low, I hope things improve for you soon. It may help to have a look at these two pages on the forum: Suicidal Crisis and Mental Health Forum - Getting Help about what to do if you're feeling suicidal, or if you need emergency help. I hope you can use the forum for support during this difficult time.

Please if you feel this way again call someone like the Samaritans, their number is 116 123.

Take care and best wishes.
 
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