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I need advice, anyone?

sab

sab

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So I have this friend whom I know about/over two years. They never betray my trust and are pretty understanding and caring, nice and all. Recently I realized they became different, but I'm not sure how much it's my paranoia acting up (trust issues and fear of abandonment) or is there something going on in fact.

My friend seem distant, like angry/annoyed with me. I asked them if I did something wrong and they said no. But I still feel something is wrong. I'm terrified of losing them, I have hard times befriending people and they are like my soulmate.

I have feeling something bad will happen, like they ghost me or say they don't like me anymore. Maybe they are annoying with the fact I'm talking often about my favourite things? But it's not like I'm only talking about myself, I supported them and tried to be good friend. I'm not perfect but I really care, even if I can't show it properly. I lost so many people I cared about I don't know if I'd handle losing another.

Anyway, my question is, should I try control my paranoia/trust issues and try talking with them like always? Like I said, they never criticized me and we getting along amazingly, it's just this situation caused me to panic. My mind can be really overthinking sometimes, so hope I'm just overreacting. What should I do?
 
S

StillDepressed

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should I try control my paranoia/trust issues and try talking with them like always?
Yes
You say you have paranoia
So maybe you should take this person at face value
Your words
'They never betray my trust'
So you have trusted them before
I know it's hard
But if you push them away
Then you are certain to lose them

Remember they maybe distant
But it could be for many other reasons
And nothing to with you
Try just asking what's on their mind?
They don't have to talk about it if they don't want to
So don't get defensive
But just by asking, you are being a good friend
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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I’d carry on as usual and see if this phase passes.
If your friend continues to be cold and distant or pulls away further I would ask them why they seem to be distancing themselves from you and if there is anything you should be doing differently. Let them know that you value the friendship and want to make it work. xo, j
 
sab

sab

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Joined
Aug 9, 2020
Messages
131
Location
somewhere
Yes
You say you have paranoia
So maybe you should take this person at face value
Your words
'They never betray my trust'
So you have trusted them before
I know it's hard
But if you push them away
Then you are certain to lose them

Remember they maybe distant
But it could be for many other reasons
And nothing to with you
Try just asking what's on their mind?
They don't have to talk about it if they don't want to
So don't get defensive
But just by asking, you are being a good friend
I did it, I'm trying to act like usually. Sharing vids/pics or talking about games or my plans or something. I don't wanna insist. They said they're fine so I don't wanna bothering further. Certainly something's going on, in my opinion. Just hope they're okay and everything is good in our friendship.
 
sab

sab

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Joined
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Messages
131
Location
somewhere
I’d carry on as usual and see if this phase passes.
If your friend continues to be cold and distant or pulls away further I would ask them why they seem to be distancing themselves from you and if there is anything you should be doing differently. Let them know that you value the friendship and want to make it work. xo, j
I many times repeated they're one of best people I ever met. I try to be good friend for then not only when it's all good but when it's bad too. I don't know, I guess I just got scared of losing them. I lost many people who were my good friends and actually didn't even suppose they would became my soulmate but I really value their friendship.

I don't know if it matters but they said once they had crush on me long time ago, so maybe it's the reason? but everything was okay (except one time earlier when I had similar situation with them being distant).

I've been adviced to try to met new people to talk meanwhile but I even don't know what to do. I was thinking of posting on social site whete I'm registered in but I feel mental blockade for doing it. It's rare for me to find people with whom I would really get along. Or they either leave or something or I just can't interact with them.
 
Ozymandias

Ozymandias

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428
Location
London
I'm really sorry you're going through this, sab... I'm in a similar place at the moment with one of my own friendships, and it's really hurting me. I feel like I'm losing this person and I honestly don't have a clue why.

For what it's worth, I really hope that the situation is resolved soon and that your anxiety turns out to be misplaced. Maybe something's happening in your friend's life that's got nothing to do with you, but which is affecting them enough that they're being different with everyone right now?
 

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