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I need a piece of advice

A

AnnaDey

New member
Joined
Oct 21, 2020
Messages
1
Location
Russia
Hi everyone! I'm not a native speaker of English, sorry for my mistakes, but I really need to share this.
I'm very emotional and this is my problem, because it affects my life and relationships with other people. For example, I can get upset and stop eating for few days. And during all this time when I'm upset, I keep thinking about the situation that made me feel this way. I just can't let it go.
Even if I do anything else, I have thoughts about my problem. That is very exhausting.
Now I'm in relationship with a girl and she is amazing. But I get jealous very often. For example, she found a friend from other country few weeks ago and today this friend sent her very private photos (she didn't even ask if it's okay). My girlfriend answered that she is not interested, and as I know they continue their communication. And I know it's not right that I got jealous. But I did. And I still am. I just keep thinking about it. And it's really weird because I'm crying and I don't want to talk to her because I'm mad but I want to talk to her (I don't know why, maybe just because it's her).
And sometimes I feel that my own jealousy kills my feelings for her. It hurts me and I don't want to feel pain, so when I'm trying to calm down I'm convincing myself that she is not that important for me and I don't need to pay attention to that kind of situation.
I wanna stop it, I don't wanna ruin everything. I told her how I feel, but it actually had no sense, because she is not doing anything wrong. Should I keep my jealousy secret?
Just to make it clear I know that my world won't fall apart if we will break up. And she is not the only one person that makes me happy, I have friends. And my self-esteem is ok. But still I don't want to lose her.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
7,151
Location
Nashua NH
Hi Annadey! Welcome to the forums. It must have been quite a shock to both of you to receive those photos. I think it’s understandable that you would feel jealous and threatened by them even though you know your girlfriend has no interest. For sensitive people sometimes even the mere suggestion of such a relationship can lead to strong feelings of jealousy. It’s okay to feel the way you do right now. If you haven’t already I would tell your girlfriend about what you are feeling so she can understand and help you through it. Eventually you will get over feeling this way and your relationship will be stronger for it. To get there you must do your best to try and cope with the feelings that you are having now. xo, j

ps: I thought your English is great!
 

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