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I miss my friend

bluemoon2

bluemoon2

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 26, 2014
Messages
108
To cut a long story short my day hospital thought it would be within my best interests to take a temporary break of contact from a close friend I developed strong feelings for.

They realised a lot of my anxiety was stemming from having to see my best friend in a relationship with someone else, that I needed to go through a 'grieving' process and recover before thinking about allowing my friend back into my life.

They explained I could feel like this for months and said the best thing to do is allow mutual friends to hold his contacts for me until a time where the day hospital, myself and my friends think I am ready to have the contacts back. My friend understands this and says he will never stop being my friend and hopes I get better soon.

The trouble I am facing now is that I believe (a week and a half on) that the feelings have gone but I still grieve horribly for my friend and feel like a huge chunk has been knocked out of my life. I'm not eating well, I'm sleeping too much, I haven't left my house this week and I just feel tremendous emotional pain all the time.

A huge part of me is screaming out to have the contacts back just to make the depression stop. I think the feelings have gone but everyone thinks it's far too soon. I just want my friend back and for things to go back to normal. When will I know it's the right time to have the contacts back?
 
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ballerina123

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Joined
Feb 7, 2015
Messages
88
Things like this take time. Give yourself time and be kind to yourself. Do nice things for your self.
Time is what helps feelings of loss so just keep fighting x
 
bulbie

bulbie

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Jul 21, 2010
Messages
18,476
Location
Ayrshire
They say it is too soon because it IS too soon. When you're so in love with someone, those feelings don't just disappear, certainly not in a couple of weeks. Your brain right now is most likely trying to convince you that the feelings are gone so you can have your friend back. But I guarantee, that if he were to come back tomorrow, all of your old feelings would instantly resurface, and you would know that they never left. You'd also most likely feel even worse than before.

No-one can tell you when the right time is. You will just know. I broke up with a guy in 2008, it's only now I can honestly say with my hand on my heart that I am truly happy he has found someone else.
 
bluemoon2

bluemoon2

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Joined
Nov 26, 2014
Messages
108
I don't feel too bothered that he's with someone else. I feel that my body has felt enough these last two weeks to go through with that again. I know in my heart the feelings have gone because I've realised my friendship is more importaint and that's what's making me upset because I don't miss the feelings I once had - I'm missing my friend just like I would any other friend.
 
bulbie

bulbie

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Joined
Jul 21, 2010
Messages
18,476
Location
Ayrshire
I respect the way you feel. But you're only one half of the story. Just be aware that if HE doesn't think its the right time, he can refuse to see you until he feels it's right.
 
bluemoon2

bluemoon2

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 26, 2014
Messages
108
That's very true. I suppose these things take time so I'm going to give it another month or so.
 
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