- Jan 1, 2021
Hello! I haven't been on this site in a while so I am just catching up. Thanks for responding to my post. I'm glad I am not alone. I am female. I was never really interested in the opposite sex romantically nor did I ever want to have sex with the opposite sex. There was one guy that I thought I liked in a romantic sense (and that gave me hope that I was interested in the opposite sex), but I am now questioning if how I felt was even genuine. I also haven't felt this way towards the opposite sex since that one guy.Hi there jjusa. I also suffer from SO-OCD so I know how tough it is. I don't know if you're male or female but I think many people go through a phase of questioning, curiosity and/or experimenting with the same sex but for most people it's just that and they don't stress about it or overthink it.
I think if you're gay you know you're gay and you don't question it obsessively and obsessively ruminate.
Were you always interested in the opposite sex? Did you have crushes on the opposite sex and want to date and have sex with the opposite sex?
You are right, when you are gay you know you are gay. When you are straight, it's the same thing. Some days I think I have SO-OCD and that it's either I am gay and worried that I am actually straight, or I am actually straight and worry that I am gay instead. It could just be that I am bi, but I still obsessively question myself everyday. It's like I can't pick one without picking the other but I am not sure if the "other" sex is what I am genuinely interested in.
Hi, I've actually read the compulsory hetero doc, and can relate to some of it. The problem is that my mind can't seem to settle on a sexual orientation at all. If some things "clicked" for me regarding my orientation, my mind somehow makes me forget and tells me that it wasn't real. Gay doesn't feel right to me. Neither does straight.I don't know if this is helpful, but maybe you could look more into compulsory heterosexuality? I don't have this type of OCD but I struggled heavily with my sexuality and reading about compulsory heterosexuality really helped me rethink my relation to men (I'm a lesbian though).
This is a specific lesbian masterdoc that /can/ people with that (even nonlesbians), but I'm sure if you looked up bisexuality and compulsory heterosexuality you could find other more specific resources too!
Yeah, I struggle a lot with and am more interested in knowing if I am gay or not, not so much what society thinks of me. Unless I am totally oblivious to society and deep down I'm repressing my fears.People who are geuinely gay may struggle with their sexuality but it's not because they don't know whether they're gay or not and don't desire these thoughts but because they fear reactions of family and society.
I didn't know about this! Now that I think about it, I have a bigger fear of being straight then of being gay... I also have a fear of being gay too, just not to the same degree as my fear of being straight lol. I have a fear of being one or the other, I think... Again, I can never settle on an answer. It's more for me to feel better about myself then to appease or please others.Also there are gay people who have anxiety about being straight so it's not only straight people who have an obsession with this theme but gay people as well who fear that they're straight. I've come across many gay people on OCD forums who have this obsession but with liking the opposite sex.
I think my checking might be more "double-checking" to see if I really am gay, because the alternative (being with the opposite sex) is something I am not sure I really want. Any checking I do to see if I still like the opposite sex is by only watching romantic movies with heterosexual relationships, while avoiding ones with bi/homosexual ones. I just don't know how I am supposed to feel when I am with the opposite sex vs. the same sex. I'm so confused... maybe this is what OCD is supposed to to do a person? IDK.
I don't want to cause any problems/fights, but I feel that all the posts here are valid. I think for someone like me though who probably has OCD, it is very triggering to be told that it's not a big deal and that further exploration will help clear things up. I'm either straight, gay, bi, whatever, but my mind plays tricks on me that prevents me from understanding my truth - by attacking aspects of my identity, like you mentioned Lonelygirl91. It's like no matter what I do, whatever experiences I have, I continue to feel uncertain and my fear of uncertainty only gets worse as time goes on. My brain is programmed for self-doubt and no matter what I do to try to change my attitude, my self-doubt remains. I enjoy having these conversations because it's really helped me understand OCD better, regardless if I have it or not.This is really NOT helpful and the worst advise that you could give to someone! This only makes people with OCD anxious! This is not about exploring sexual identity! This is about straight people who fear that they are attracted to the same sex, not because they have a problem with it but because it's not part of who they are. Gay people also have this theme and have the fear that they are straight! Bi people can have this too and fear that they are more attracted to one sex than the other! This is NOT about having a problem with being LGBT or worrying about family or society and coming out; it's quite the contrary. It's feeling that it isn't part of who we are. OCD attacks things that are the most important to us including aspects of identity. Like I said, many gay people have this OCD too and fear being straight.
Hi, I actually didn't come across your post until now. No apologies necessary but thank you.Jjusa, if what I said made you feel worse, I truly apologize so please ignore my opinion. I certainly didn't mean to cause you more anxiety. If anything you've read resonated with you, talk with a professional about it. Obviously don't blindly take the advice of internet strangers. I
Good luck to you.