• Share. Be Supported. Recover.

    We are a friendly, safe community supporting each other's mental health. We are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

I love those that are trying really hard to survive

dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
1,064
Location
australia
...I am making just as incredible an effort to make this emotionally dangerous time that we experience this perfect comfort of life and death!...


....love and life... life and death!

...the perfect of both are those that trust themselves...!

...and I trust you !
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2012
Messages
7,824
Location
small town Ontario, Canada
Are you OK doublemonkey? been reading your posts this morning and you seem to be caught up in indecision and depression. I'm not sure it's hard to understand what your saying sometimes. Have you thought about writing some of your prose in the Members Gallery or in the Journals, starting a thread for it.

Sometimes you'll get more responses if you try to keep your thoughts, and self comments/venting and such to one thread rather than posting a new thread everytime.

Just trying to help.:hug1:
 
dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
1,064
Location
australia
...I am welcome to any advice.. :)

its not my intention to seek it ....

I kinda feel like I do not deserve it...after my recent behaviour here...

I have listened very close to what you have said....

I am not too sure what to do?
 
D

Dottyone

Guest
...I am welcome to any advice.. :)

its not my intention to seek it ....

I kinda feel like I do not deserve it...after my recent behaviour here...

I have listened very close to what you have said....

I am not too sure what to do?
Hello DM,

Everyone deserves to be noticed and helped on any Forum and you are as deserving as anyone here, I think Gajolene was saying sometimes its better to write what we are thinking into one Thread rather than lots of Threads with a few sentences.

it would make it easyier for everyone to chat with you and understand more of what you are struggling with.

I think that may be why you don't get many replies, maybe people are struggling to understand your struggles.
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2012
Messages
7,824
Location
small town Ontario, Canada
I was wondering too, are you struggling with bipolar? and do you have manic episodes? Doublemonkey.

I know when my first ex (father to my children) is struggling with his rapid cycling manic bipolar, he speaks very similar to the way you express yourself on here.

He is unmedicated, so goes through episodes and has good times and bad when struggling to be understood.
 
dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
1,064
Location
australia
yes...

I can only hope that he does not experience the exact same diabolical shameless and shame-full idiotic and permanent!...emotional foolishness...

...I hope to hell that your husband is not like me!...

there is a way to hide from reality and it manifests itself as an incomplete form of some perfect personal expression!...

you might believe that you are safe....until you get disturbed ... by the worse things that are imagined...

and bipolar magnificence!?...

locates a way.....to survive...

and this does not mean everyone lives...

in the bipolar mind?... nobody lives...and the permanent disaster of loneliness survives!...

and the survival ?

I do not want to describe it.

it is likely to happen.....

the pure bipolar?

will happen to defend itself from something that only a pure bipolar can identify.

things will be as best as the dangerous things get ignored...

bipolar survival involves an ability to forget trying to prove to others that I cannot survive without the stupid GUESSING...

I hope I have not upset anybody...

love DM
 
dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
1,064
Location
australia
...I like and feel safe and I will try and do that from now on...

I agree that it will be more productive than my typical efforts...

I do mean it when I say thankyou...

thankyou for spend your time to assist me...:)
 
dubblemonkey

dubblemonkey

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
1,064
Location
australia
yes I do struggle with rapid cycling bipolar....

I am backed up with Lithium and Seroquel and I still suffer with episodes...

...I do not have good times....and I do definitely have bad times.

it's a real shame that the good times suffer at the expense of the bad times.....

I am briefly comforted by the fact that he might be like myself....

but I am also pleased for your sake?...

that he is very unlike "me"...

otherwise?...you might be tempted to blame yourself.

....and you do not need that!....

bipolar is a condition that is a disaster to those that consider it...and attempt to understand it!...

many of my efforts are designated to ignore this debilitating illness....this very illness that is designed to make the sufferer to apologise over and over...

and to make every attempt to appear to be coping....

and try to "fit" in with the only things that prove otherwise.

there are no ways for the bipolar to help themselves without being in emotional pain!

and I am talking about 'nothing'...no pills....not drugs...

just making every effort to shut out ...pretty much everything!
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

Well-known member
Joined
May 30, 2012
Messages
7,824
Location
small town Ontario, Canada
I understand, I wouldn't wish this condition on anyone. The regular mood swings so drastic and so dramatic, and yes sometimes dangerous to the ones you love.

His bipolar is rapid cycling so his mood cycles would change several times a week, during his angry cycles he was violent and abusive, also had no empathy, or conscience to the harm he was causing. During his highs, he was on top of the world, very narcistic, unstopable, erratic trips, taking on too many jobs to handle or things bigger than he could handle making several new friends unafraid of anything. During his lows, severe depression sets in and everything just stops. He withdrawls and isolates, stops all communication with everybody, quits his jobs, and usually moves.

During his manic episodes where he would start hearing voices, have delusional thoughts or paranoid thoughts were not predictable. They usually lasted a few weeks to as long as a few months. He is usually forced into hospital during these times. He gets way out of control. One doctor descibed it to me as his brain going 100 times faster than a normal human brain during his manic episodes, and he has no insight that he is ill during those times and he talks in code during those times as well, a code only he can understand.
He could have one every few months or go as long as a few years between episodes.

He does have times when life is normal and his mood swings stop. He is a wonderfull man during those times, very caring and empathetic, would do anything for anyone and fully protective of the ones he loves.

He only goes to hospital when forced to and moves constantly to avoid forced medication and refuses to stay on meds. He still uses pot as his main form of selfmedication. He has isolated himself to the wilds in Canada now. Lives in town only long enough to earn money to survive out the year then back into the wilds he goes. He managed to get his electricians license so he can work alone.

Refusing meds has been really detrimental to his life. I don't recommend it for anyone.

I do have other friends with bipolar who are stabilized with medications and have been really sucessfull in getting their lives back and having wonderfull family lives by accepting their conditions and accepting that they need medication to function normally. It's not easy but much much better than going without and constantly relapsing into mania's.

I don't know if any of that sounds farmiliar to you or not, just trying to find ways for you to relate and to be able to talk about your experiences more.

Huge hugs :hug1:

I just want to make sure to say, in my exhusbands case I was with him 7 years after he developed his illness, it is a severe chemical imbalance that does cause his illness, it is a physical defect that causes his conditions, I do not blame him for anything he did while I was with him, I blame the illness. I had to leave because unmedicated he was not safe for me or my children to stay with.
I forgave him a long time ago for what he did to his family while he was ill. Please don't blame yourself or hate yourself if your experiencing these types of things. But please do get help for it, it can improve your life tremendously.

Sorry I was still typing this comment when you posted your last response. I am glad you are on medication, I'm sorry that you have to live with this. Do you have a therapist to help you cope or do you try to handle it by yourself?
 
Last edited:
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
F Would love some help/advice understanding my first experience with someone who has bipolar - Bipolar Forum 21
M Love This Website Bipolar Forum 4
V In love Bipolar Forum 0
K Does "tough love" work for someone who is manic? Bipolar Forum 43
T Unable to feel love (more or less) Bipolar Forum 2
Carol1952 No matter how awful i feel I love all of you and I mean that too. Bipolar Forum 5
Julzeebub I love this place!!! Bipolar Forum 11
dubblemonkey the love and the life Bipolar Forum 1
H Love Bipolar Forum 1
L Mania or love? Bipolar Forum 4
B Love and Hate Being Bipolar Bipolar Forum 2
Poopy Doll So much for Love Thy Neighbor Bipolar Forum 13
L My 17 year old daughter doesn’t love me. Bipolar Forum 5
S I love Lithium, but am I able to do this on it Bipolar Forum 2
Y To messed up to love??? hope is all you need Bipolar Forum 3
O Love put me in a mental asylum for a month Bipolar Forum 6
R How to Cope with Bi-polar Love Bipolar Forum 8
S Have i wasted the good years of my life and does real love even exist? Bipolar Forum 3
C i actualy love my bipolar? Bipolar Forum 1
dubblemonkey it's easy to love! Bipolar Forum 1
dubblemonkey there is nothing wrong with love! Bipolar Forum 1
dubblemonkey I love the lovable and the easily adorable Bipolar Forum 2
dubblemonkey it's ok to be complicated...love dm! Bipolar Forum 2
dubblemonkey it's nice to love Bipolar Forum 12
dubblemonkey love Bipolar Forum 5
dubblemonkey there must be a way to love yourself...! Bipolar Forum 1
dubblemonkey love is gorgeous! Bipolar Forum 2
dubblemonkey I love Amy Winehouse... Bipolar Forum 4
dubblemonkey the insanity of love Bipolar Forum 14
Electric Being manic and in love Bipolar Forum 14
C My story...and crazy love.. Bipolar Forum 1
J A long winded tail of losing the love of my life. Bipolar Forum 2
MagicJay Getting over the love of my life Bipolar Forum 20
A New and would love advice.. Bipolar Forum 12
rasselas.redux Falling in Love versus Fickle Infatuations Bipolar Forum 24
S i love it here in our old country.... Bipolar Forum 3
prairiechick I Love To Sleep Bipolar Forum 19
megirl love this forum Bipolar Forum 16
C Take the Meds, Don't Take the Meds, Love the Meds Hate the Meds!! Bipolar Forum 4
unfixable36 Why do the ppl we love the most cause us so much pain Bipolar Forum 8
K For Love and Respect to Calypso. Bipolar Forum 4
K love being bi-polar Bipolar Forum 29
C The "I LOVE STAN" thread Bipolar Forum 27
bobshocker I really do Love all you Guys. I do, but? where do we go? Where do we go? Bipolar Forum 1
FallenAngel Friday - I'm In Love Bipolar Forum 2
mrlaurel love n affection ? sex and relationships? and a broken heart... Bipolar Forum 10
L Question time guys please would love youre help. Bipolar Forum 18
7blackroses so, what are the things you love about being Bipolar? Bipolar Forum 33
JLynn Love and the pursuit of sanity or something Bipolar Forum 15
mrlaurel do men have the rights to love and affection? Bipolar Forum 23

Similar threads

Top