I literally can't do it anymore

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George10111

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Jul 7, 2017
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258
#1
If anyone has any help they can give I'd really appreciate it and hope you get blessed. I'm literally on my last string. My life has been hanging on a thread and this has been a really crappy year. I'm so close to killing myself. The only things stopping me are how my family will take it but that's starting to slip between the cracks. I just don't want to do it anymore, for anybody. This sounds absolutely horrible but I'm too miserable to stay alive to keep my family happy. I love them but I feel like I'm hurting myself more by staying alive then them if by killing myself. There's so much wrong with my life I can't even begin to explain. My life is a never-ending whirl of torment. I just don't think its worth it anymore.
 
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George10111

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#3
I just called three crisis workers and none of them took me seriously. I told the first one what was going on and she said, so I don't see what the problem could be. She was acting like a bitch. The second one was another woman who was just completely rude and sighing and not giving me any advice, just this awkward one-two word sentences. I've had enough of life's stress. I have simply had it. I've had with bullshit, rude people, bullies, money and I just want out as soon as possible. I hope that God will have mercy on my soul and understand.
 
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George10111

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#4
I think there's no better way out. I'm so sorry
 
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George10111

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#6
I'm in the US. I'm overwhelmed and there is no way out. I'm really thinking about some things. I just don't know what there is to do anymore.
 
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George10111

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#7
Every time life offers a glimmer of hope it instantly yanks it away and punches me in the face. I've had enough of getting my ass kicked around by life.
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

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#8
Hey George so sorry that you are going through this I find that your posts are always upbeat. You seem to be so helpful to others in spite of your pain.

Can you break it down what is going on and talk to someone irl? Sometimes life throws so much at us that all we can do is to switch to pilot light in order to ‘function’
 
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Char G

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Mar 12, 2019
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#10
Sorry you’re feeling like this but it isn’t the way out! Think of your family and all the people you would be leaving behind. Life can be awful but it will make your families life awful if you leave them you must have someone to talk to?
 
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George10111

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#11
I went for a run and I'm feeling a tad better. Things are a little easier to manage. I've been thinking of some things. Thanks for your heartfelt replies.
 
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CEVRAM

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#12
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Life is never easy for anyone, even for those who are more fortunate, no one is free from problems and struggles, the path for happiness and well being is anything but smooth, its filled with pebbles and small holes and the main issue here is that those obstacles aren't always visible to the naked eye.

Conditions like depression and anxiety create a whole new set of challenges most people wont be able to see. When we loose a loved one or suffer a traumatic event, people will understand our sadness, fear and frustration but when the problems are fabricated within our subconscious mind that's a completely different scenario.

The majority of people around us wont likely be able to understand why someone who has caring people around them, a place to be, food on the table, nice clothes to wear etc can be that much unhappy and strongly despise their own existence. They dont get what is like to live with a bunch of conditions which do everything in their power to make us feel miserable and hopeless regardless of what's happening around us, regardless of how many times we are told that we are good people and have value...I am personaly too much of a coward to try taking my life away no matter how awful I'm feeling about it, I simply fear the unknown too much.

But please, keep reaching out to this forum whenever you are feeling bad, here people understand you want to help without being judgemental and say the typical "Its all in your head" or "just get over it" crap. Its saddening that so many people find themselves in the need of exposing their struggles and hardships in online forums like this one due to not finding the right support amongst family and friends, just goes to show that mental health still has plenty of misconceptions and misunderstandings surrounding it.
 
MeropeneM

MeropeneM

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#14
You need to ask your psychiatrist what drugs you can take to achieve this effect:

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Right now it's the ass of your brain talking. Your psychiatrist has to find a way to shut those areas down and move you more towards your prefrontal cortex.

Killing the whole brain/body is a stupid option. You just gotta light up the right spots xD
 
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George10111

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#15
Things have gotten a lot better the last few days. I feel like I've been in a coma for a long time and just came back from the dead. I have a lot more energy but am still open to embrace anything that comes my way. Just wanted to let everyone know that everything is not just ok, but better. I hope everyone else is ok and hanging in there too. Thanks for your support ya'll
 

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