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I like her, but we have many silent moments

N

Notorious

New member
Joined
Jan 12, 2021
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1
Location
Holland
I am not sure if it is a right place for this, but I will give it a try.

Recently I've started dating a woman who seemed to be shy at first few dates...and kept on being so to day today.

I am introvert myself, so it made me a bit uncomfortable at first when neither of us said anything for prolonged time. Silent moments continued happening later into dating, somehow I got used to it.

She has stated that likes me and wants to know me more. So I asked her why doesn't she ask anything about me. Her response was that she is not used to ask questions. It is not that she never asks anything about me. It does happen, but it is so rare....and I am usually the one that needs to lead all the conversation, otherwise we end up eye gazing for long period of times.

From what I've observed, she is not that way with other people/ friends. So I am really confused why her shyness (social anxiety?) only affects our communication?

This is a first time that I have to deal with a such reserved personality. I really hope that there is someone on this forum who has some tips/ ideas on what could help to improve our communication.
 
P

Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
1,662
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nowhere
Two introverts together can be tough. She's probably looser with friends because with non romantic relationships there's less pressure. In romantic relationships it can be hard at first to put your real self out there....feelings are involved.

You may be better with an extrovert.
 
Zackthemaniac

Zackthemaniac

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Joined
Oct 16, 2019
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1,445
Location
North Carolina
Shes just shy and still getting to know you. Dont mess this up by pushing her. She get to the same place as she is with her other friends with you eventually. As an introvert myself Ive had to deal with this many times when meeting new people.

Just give her time and dont be afraid to talk about yourself to fill the void if shes not.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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Forum Safety Team
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May 6, 2017
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5,506
Location
Sheffiield
I have the same trouble, I don't have a massive amount of things to say to a woman.

You could try this website (that I just found and will be making use of myself lol) and prepare some questions for her or make a list together of each of your favorite things and discuss them.


If all else fails make a nice comment about her beautiful eyes and say you could stare into them forever.

But if you both can be comfortable in silence with each other and she hasn't bolted I'd say things are going well.

The best of luck to you!
 
OCDguy

OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
1,833
It could just be you aren't relaxed around each other at the moment and perhaps even frightened to say the wrong thing... Why not take the time to get to know each other a bit better and bit by bit break the barriers...
 
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