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I Know I'm Paranoid But...

M

Monkey_Girl

Member
Joined
Jul 17, 2020
Messages
16
Location
Ohio
I've not been diagnosed with separate paranoia disorder. One of my diagnosis is Bipolar 1 with paranoid tendencies. I start with a new therapist Friday and am going to discuss this with them.

I need to put in work on my own though, and I know it. I have severe paranoia. It impedes and pervades my life, every moment of the day. It's as if I have a voice inside my head, shooting down what my partner tells me. Making me doubt what my kids tell me. Not trusting anyone.

Not being in control of my own mind and emotions terrify me. It's been this way for many, many years. I don't know how to handle it anymore. I'm on the verge of ruining my relationship with my partner, because I challenge everything he says, and make accusations.

Does anyone have any suggestions or resources that may help get these thoughts and feelings under control?

Thanks
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
531
im sorry youre having such a difficullt time......i have paranoid schizophrenia myself and know how tough these things get.....are you on any anti psychotics.....im on some and find they help.....look in to it
 
M

Monkey_Girl

Member
Joined
Jul 17, 2020
Messages
16
Location
Ohio
im sorry youre having such a difficullt time......i have paranoid schizophrenia myself and know how tough these things get.....are you on any anti psychotics.....im on some and find they help.....look in to it
Thanks for the response!

I'm on abilify now, and have been on different antipsychotics in the past. I've yet to find the right one that actually works.
 
J

Jomp

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 25, 2020
Messages
71
Location
UK
Unless there's a significant pathology involved, paranoia can be a reaction to a perceived lack of control in your own life, and others take a surrogate role to offset this feeling of being out of control.

Once established, you feel you must hold on to the control, and any apparent deceit (withholding information or subterfuge) is seen as malicious. It's unlikely that you recognise the more subtle effects of the condition, but they'll be there and be noticeable.

Unfortunately, being on the receiving end means that the other person becomes more secretive, as everyone needs (and deserves) a level of privacy.

Remember that, if it's been like this for a while, much of the behaviour is going to be habit and provides you with a certain amount of relief, as it temporarily addresses your rising concerns.

Try taking a journal and writing down, instead of vocalising, your concerns and weigh them up with points for and against your point of view.
 
M

Monkey_Girl

Member
Joined
Jul 17, 2020
Messages
16
Location
Ohio
Unless there's a significant pathology involved, paranoia can be a reaction to a perceived lack of control in your own life, and others take a surrogate role to offset this feeling of being out of control.

Once established, you feel you must hold on to the control, and any apparent deceit (withholding information or subterfuge) is seen as malicious. It's unlikely that you recognise the more subtle effects of the condition, but they'll be there and be noticeable.

Unfortunately, being on the receiving end means that the other person becomes more secretive, as everyone needs (and deserves) a level of privacy.

Remember that, if it's been like this for a while, much of the behaviour is going to be habit and provides you with a certain amount of relief, as it temporarily addresses your rising concerns.

Try taking a journal and writing down, instead of vocalising, your concerns and weigh them up with points for and against your point of view.

There are reasons, real ones, that lead to my current paranoia. My patrner has feelings for another woman. We attempted a 3 party relationship at his request. It failed miserably, because I did not care for this female. They have maintained contact, even after the relationship ended. It scares me to have no idea what is being said. If their communication is full of endearments and plans to be together.

My partner has full access to my phone, computer, everything. I hide nothing. He changes the passcode on his phone constantly, will not let me see his phone at all. So I believe things are being hidden from me. I feel lied to. Betrayed.
 
J

Jomp

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 25, 2020
Messages
71
Location
UK
That's not paranoia.
 
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