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I keep wating to harm myself but I dont...

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LouiseAbby

Member
Joined
Mar 13, 2015
Messages
9
So today, I keep thinking of ways to harm myself. At least three popped into my head and luckily I didn't attempt any apart from the minor SH...only two marks but then once I did it I felt completely bad and was like what the? how am I going to hide it...but it turned out not visible so...but I learn't that it didn't help this time.

My most worry is that because I did it today I'm going to start the cycle again. You SH one day, you SH the next and so on and as it progresses it gets worse. In my history of self-harm there wasn't a day that didn't go by that I could not harm myself. I could not take the implement away from myself, and somehow I got out of that but now it's like I'm getting dragged back into it. :low:
 
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MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
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Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,044
Hey Louise I understand that cycle. That is the cycle I get into when I self harm. Lucky in a strange ways mine only tend to last a couple of weeks and then I just stop till the next time.

Now you are calmer (are you calmer?) do you think you can put the implement out of the way so it is extremely hard to get to or even throw it away?

x
 
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LouiseAbby

Member
Joined
Mar 13, 2015
Messages
9
Hi Marlieebee, yeah it's just a horrible cycle to be honest with you, and yes I'm more considerate about the whole thing as before I just did not care whether I did it but now I'm thinking more before I have the implement in my hand and thinking, telling myself don't do it and it's only been today I did it but not bad at all. Unfortunately, I have not thrown it away :low: but I know hopefully I wont do it etc.

I really don't want to but obviously with experience its a really addictive thing and wow, If I can recall the last time I did it was about a year ago...or actually just under maybe about the end of June, beginning of July...so, not too bad!! Thanks for the reply!! xx
 
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MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,044
Ok if you can't chuck it away can you at least put it somewhere where it is hard to reach. So you know it's there but it is a massive effort to get it?

There is a reason behind that.

Also, I'm not telling you off but you might find your posts getting edited, that is because the forum doesn't allow self harm specifics to prevent triggering other users. If you can take a little look at this.

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