I just wish i had a friend who was there when it hits the fan.

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Pffft

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I'm finding things really difficult right now. I'm having self harm urges and some suicidal thoughts. I'm not unsafe with my suicidal thoughts but it's horrible. My relationship with my parents is rocky and unstable and I'm at the stage now where I admitted to myself I need to tell a friend that I can trust.

I messaged her asking how her shopping trip went. We spoke about that and for the first time in atleast a month I sent a message saying "I am finding things a bit difficult lately 😞". She didn't reply until over an hour later and when she did, she totally ignored what I said and started talking about how this guy she dated a while ago is now in a relationship. I understand she is upset but she didn't even mention anything about my text. The 2 texts she sent afterwards were short so they wouldn't have been enough to have pushed my text too far up to realise.

She has sent another text saying she is really struggling and I can't bring myself to message her back. I know I didn't say i was struggling to the extent I am but I wrote enough for her to know I'm not in a good place.

I feel angry although I feel this has calmed down since this morning. I feel guilty for not replying but I feel so rejected by it all. She knows I am sensitive as well.
 
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Pffft

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Thank you @midnightphoenix I appreciate your reply as I am feeling guilty. I don't really know what to do with the situation. I feel I have abandoned her but then I remember she abandoned me when she ignored what I said.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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What does 'put your own mask on' mean? Sorry I've not heard of that before.
what it means is you got to look after yourself before you can look after others

like in a aeroplane (not that i ever been on one) they say you got to put your own oxygen mask on first before you help the person next to you put theirs on :hug:

idk if this makes more sense :hug:
 
CelticTwilight

CelticTwilight

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I hadn't heard that saying before either. Good one midnightphoenix, I will try to remember it.

Pffft, sorry to hear how you are feeling. It certainly isn't helping that your friend is talking at cross purposes then angling for sympathy without showing any to you. I am inclined to give friends the benefit of the doubt that they would want to help but don't know how. The hour taken may have been trying to mail you some support but not known how to word it but then mentioning her own struggles does seem rather tactless. Maybe you are going to have to acknowledge her struggles before she can yours. That obviously does not sound fair but at least you would be able to tell yourself that you tried to help a friend regardless of whether she wants to help you - some 'unconditional love'.
 

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