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I just want to be well

B

Bee-oxox

New member
Joined
Dec 16, 2018
Messages
1
Hi everyone, I’m new here and I just want to let out my feelings.
I’ve been depressed ever since I can remember, I’m 22.
I tried to commit suicide aged 14 but somehow survived a huge overdose.
There’s no reason for my depression... it’s just always been there.. no bad experiences or abuse etc to cause it.
Inside my head it’s a dark, dull, rainy, awful place, with a few streetlights in which represents the things keeping me going.. but over the years they’ve started to flicker and some have just gone out completely .. I want to die. I feel the impact depression has had on me is just surreal. I’m nothing now. It’s been years and years I am just a shell I am just existing I am nothing I am a burden to everyone. I envy people who are happy and have a love for life ... I’ve never had that. I know I will never be well and it kills me I just break down in the day, just sit and cry and I just want this depression to go but it won’t
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,502
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
Hi Bee and :welcome: to the Forum. I am sorry you are so depressed and for no real well defined reason. My psychiatrist once told me a story about a child he treated because the child was severely depressed and the parents weren't the cause at all. He told me this story because I kept telling him all these mental problems were environmentally caused, like by bad parenting as was my own case. He wanted me to understand that medications really help cases like this child patient of his. She was really happy once the medication kicked in. He was happy he helped the whole family.

I really wish you could find a medication that would stop this depression.
 
Last edited:
SoftRain

SoftRain

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 26, 2016
Messages
1,498
Location
sillyville, USA
I went untreated for many many years. I remember being a happy child then after adolescence BOOM... the gloom started.
One day I would be ok, or not. I had rapid mood changes. The depression would linger for days when it showed up, then later it turned to years.
They tried antidepressants on me but they never worked. I am bi polar so the typical did not work for me. It was horrible to think nothing worked.
I finally went to a psychiatrist who I still see. He got me out of bed and functional again prescribing the right meds. I am even happy sometimes. This was trial and error with meds. Now I’m stable most days. I still have sad days but they are a lot fewer. I still have days where the words flash in my head kill yourself and usually I have skipped my meds. I don’t even want to kill myself but those words sometimes flash for what ever messed up reason.
My friend please see a mental Health professional. My general practitioner never helped me at all even though he tried with meds.
Your not alone and you have hope and new view on life if you pursue it.
Much love and healing wished for you.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
10,788
Location
England
Hi,
Welcome to the forum
I'm sorry your feeling very poorly, you can get better many people do.
Please don't end your life.
Get help from your Gp or local dr, or go to A/E or call emergency services or 111 if your in the UK.
We will listen to you here, glad you've found us.
I know how badly you must want to get better, it can happen don't give up.
Take care Hun.
 
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