I just want to be isolated.

frisas45

frisas45

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Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
64
Location
South Korea
#1
I've suffered from lonlieness for years. People were too busy for me. Struggling to make ends meet. It's pretty worse in South Korea. I have a favorite YouTube singer who I deeply admire. She goes through the similiar things as I do.

I feel bad for her. I heard Californians (not all) are shallow-minded. Thats why she is being treated poorly.If she could move elsewhere and get her to be brave, she can get better maybe. I don't know.

But somtimes I envy her. I wish I had that problem the YouTuber had and live alone in peace. I don't want to belittle her, but I'm going through is worse. My parents are mentally ill, and I have to take care of my mother. She is delusional, and gets extremely angry. Sometimes, I cannot find a solution. I tried everything. Hospitals, doctors, counselling, etc. Nothing works. But it's all my fault when things go wrong, and it's all my responsibility. My whole family could be affected if I fail her. Or my father, who suffers from major anger disorder. I need my family to survive. Without them, I cannot make ends meet. I didn't graduate from college, and Koreans do not offer generous scholarships.

Sometimes, I want to flee from Korea and go back to the States. They offer good financial aid.

As time pass by, I don't give a rat's tail about lonliness snymore. If I want to be lonely, I'd rather be lonely in peace, not being stuck with my parents.

I had to do this to survive. Obey. Or else I cannot survive. The housing price is expensive in America.
 
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LeavingHope

LeavingHope

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May 7, 2019
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68
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Hell
#3
It's sounds like things are far too overwhelming for you and you have too much on your shoulders. It seems like people expect far too much from you and it's just too much. Sometimes it really does feel like it would be best to just isolate ourselves from the rest of the world.
 
frisas45

frisas45

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Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
64
Location
South Korea
#5
It's sounds like things are far too overwhelming for you and you have too much on your shoulders. It seems like people expect far too much from you and it's just too much. Sometimes it really does feel like it would be best to just isolate ourselves from the rest of the world.
Yeah. Even Lizz(the YouTuber) is doing better than I am. She may not trust other people and push them away due to the shallow nature of her surrounding people. She may be lonely like that, but that is better off than what I'm going through...
 
frisas45

frisas45

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Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
64
Location
South Korea
#6
It's not your fault when things go wrong :hug:
I know. I'm trying my best. It's a shame that the doctor doesn't help. He gave my mother some meds that are effective, but not helping with her weight. She is obese with her back problem. But he is not helping her.
 
LeavingHope

LeavingHope

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Messages
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Hell
#7
Yeah. Even Lizz(the YouTuber) is doing better than I am. She may not trust other people and push them away due to the shallow nature of her surrounding people. She may be lonely like that, but that is better off than what I'm going through...
It sounds like she has more of a choice in her situation than you do in yours. I often want to live alone because of my unhappiness and because everything is too much. I end up just wanting to be left alone and I want the world to go away, it sounds like you may feel that way too.

It's not right that so much is being put on you (especially since your parents get so angry). and you have every right to feel the way you do. I understand the feeling of wanting to escape and wanting to live your own life the way you want.
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
64
Location
South Korea
#8
It sounds like she has more of a choice in her situation than you do in yours. I often want to live alone because of my unhappiness and because everything is too much. I end up just wanting to be left alone and I want the world to go away, it sounds like you may feel that way too.

It's not right that so much is being put on you (especially since your parents get so angry). and you have every right to feel the way you do. I understand the feeling of wanting to escape and wanting to live your own life the way you want.
Thank you for the reply. But I have no money to live alone. Just look at this:

But here in South Korea is WAY worse. It's like America with high prices and less earnings, but with high unemployment.
 
LeavingHope

LeavingHope

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Joined
May 7, 2019
Messages
68
Location
Hell
#9
Thank you for the reply. But I have no money to live alone. Just look at this:

But here in South Korea is WAY worse. It's like America with high prices and less earnings, but with high unemployment.
I can't afford to live alone either which doesn't help. And it's pretty hard to get a job here without it being part of the zero hours contact thing.
 
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