I just want someone to tell me to kill myself

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dan145

New member
Joined
May 7, 2019
Messages
1
Location
Virginia
#1
Im one of those "I want to die but can't kill myself for some reason" types, and I want nothing more that to have the strength to kill myself. Even though I realize that my reasons are irrational, I can't shake it. When I'm at home, I want to kill myself. There recently was a week long period where I figured "why do this homework, I'm not going to be alive by the time it's due" but I wound up doing it anyway. I feel like such an a**hole for saying my reasons are that my parents put an extreme pressure on me to get into good schools, and that despite my demonstrated ability to get good grades, I can't motivate myself to be consistent enough to get into even my lowest choices, but again, I can't shake the sense that I will never be happy in life if I can't get into my top choice, which I know I won't be able to do.
 
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Mujiwuji

New member
Joined
May 9, 2019
Messages
3
Location
UK
#3
I think you should speak to your parents about how you are feeling. Please keep going, you have so much more to achieve and see. Sending positivity x
 
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OCDguy

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
777
#4
Trying to condition yourself is not healthy, take it from someone who knows... if your current goals are making you unwell, turn your thoughts to something that raises your spirits and inspires you to achieve something good! Your current path is a downward spiral... One is clearly a right path and the other clearly the wrong path, and I am certain you are no fool :) Please let us know if you need/want help and support to achieve the real goals you want to achieve :)