- May 7, 2019
Im one of those "I want to die but can't kill myself for some reason" types, and I want nothing more that to have the strength to kill myself. Even though I realize that my reasons are irrational, I can't shake it. When I'm at home, I want to kill myself. There recently was a week long period where I figured "why do this homework, I'm not going to be alive by the time it's due" but I wound up doing it anyway. I feel like such an a**hole for saying my reasons are that my parents put an extreme pressure on me to get into good schools, and that despite my demonstrated ability to get good grades, I can't motivate myself to be consistent enough to get into even my lowest choices, but again, I can't shake the sense that I will never be happy in life if I can't get into my top choice, which I know I won't be able to do.