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I just want someone to care....

L

Leeheart

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2020
Messages
1
Location
Florence
I've suffered with depression my whole life. And it has had major ups and downs.
I'm currently in a situation that is so toxic but I've been in it so long I don't know how to get out. I deal with emotional manipulation, psychological and physical abuse and constant verbal abuse.
I'm just sad all the time. I just don't want to deal with life anymore. I'm just a fake smile and I pretend everything is okay but inside I'm screaming out for relief.
I hate my life so much. I keep trying to make it better but unfortunate events happen to me soon much. I've had three cars break down, I've walked to and from work, I've gotten treatment and am still in treatment for addiction. I pay my child support. I pay my student loans. I live off of 130$ a week somehow. My rent is 300$ a month. I buy my own food. I try so unbelievably hard to make things better. I know being in this relationship is just making things worse but I face homelessness if I leave. I just don't know what to do anymore. The shelters in my area are full so I can't even go there. I just want to end it Soo bad. Soo freaking bad. I just cry and self harm everyday but even that doesn't help anymore.
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
6,573
Location
Canada
Sorry to hear about your struggles, it sounds really hard. Hope you find some support here. Welcome to the forum.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
8,740
Location
Nashua NH
Hi Leehart welcome to the forums. What a difficult position you are in. It sounds like you are doing all the right things. It’s a shame you can’t feel more rewarded. I’m glad that at least you have shelter. Are there any ways you can advocate for yourself within your relationship to lessen some of the abuse? It seems like things could change for the positive quite a bit for you if you could just see some improvements in at least this area. xo, j
 
D

Deleted member 91323

Guest
Hello and welcome to the forum. Being in this relationship because you have nowhere to go is a terrible situation to me in. Have you ever spoken to victim support? They often have housing or support for people in abusive relationships.
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
525
Location
Philippines
Know and believe that there will be better days for you. Do not give. Your Creator will help you. You were made to be happy and peaceful.

Listening to good and uplifting songs on youtube helps me. Music is therapeutic. Listen as many times as you can.
 
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