I just sent this to my ex

[mr_c]

Ok so i just sent this email to my ex, im on one of my good days where i could think clearly and i just went with it, honestly i miss her so much and i felt i needed to say it, i couldnt have said it on the phone or in person as i would have got to emotionally distrested. Our backround is we were together for 2 and a bit years, engaged for one, she left me because of all my lies and my bad depressive days and my reckless behavouir with drink and drugs, she didnt know i was bipolar and nor did i, until very recently and the first time i ever came onto this forum was due to depression about her so seems the right place to share it with you guys, considering you all have been so helpful with everything else.

Thanks for reading here it is

I cant say any more to you, i think ive said everything i can, but i can do more to show you that i AM the guy you fell in love with. I AM the guy you wanted to marry and i AM the guy who loves you more than anything in this world.

Just let me know Kxxxxx, i dont expect for one second for you to say Ok mxxx lets get back together and i really dont, all im asking is that you think about me. In four months ive been on such a journey, emotionally and physically and know i can finally see clearly i know what i want, i feel so lucky for having had you, but i wanna feel that again, i want to feel you again, i want to touch your heart and tell you all the things i should have all the things i wanted to. I belive i deserve another go, and theres no danger of me fucking it up, because i cant, i wont.

You are my world Kxxxxx, i love you more than life, I miss you like the Moon misses the night, i want you like a flower wants rain.


It only takes a minute to fancy someone, an hour to like someone & a day to fall in love with someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone, thats how i feel about you. Days and nights seem so much longer without you, i wish we were together, i never thought i could miss someone this much, what am i supposed to do without you? you are the first thing i think of when I wake up and the last thing I think of when I fall asleep at night, you are in my dreams you are everywhere.

Ive fallen in love many times thing is its always been with you, when i see you i fall in love all over again, when i hear you talk i fall in love again and when i think of you i fall in love over again.

When have you ever seen this side of me? Never and thats my fault im here to show it for every second, every mintue of every hour, day,week,month and year for the rest of my life.

These words may be hard for you to take and it may not mean as much as me saying them to you in person, seeing me fill up with tears as i say them, baby girl im getting there and i will get there, i just want you to be at the finish.

I love you so so much.

xxxxx

Reading back it seems like a bit too much, but it was how i felt.

Any ideas lol

 

[Blondie]

Well that's a very heartfelt email hun.However if I were her I would want to know what practical help you have received such as counselling ect to help yourself get better so the same old problems would not resurface.This maybe one of her biggest hurdles to trust you with her love again.I wish you well and good luck.x

 

[mr_c]

Well that's a very heartfelt email hun.However if I were her I would want to know what practical help you have received such as counselling ect to help yourself get better so the same old problems would not resurface.This maybe one of her biggest hurdles to trust you with her love again.I wish you well and good luck.x

She is more than aware of what help i am recieving and honestly i have had minimal contact with her for quite some time, btw it has been four months since we broke up. Thank you for your reply though it means an awful lot.

I still love her very deeply and if there is such thing as a "soulmate" i belive she is mine, incidently im not a young tennager who has had his heart broken for the first time, i have relationships come and go, but with her it is very different, im finally finding out who i really am and its because of her.

I realise you cant make any one love you, but on the flip side surely if something is worth fighting for then i should try and do all that i can, i mean in a non stalker way lol.

 

[Deremna]

I hope that you do get another chance to prove to her how you have changed and that you love her so very much. I know how you feel about the soul mate situation as this is how I feel about my boyfriend. Relationships come and go but to be touched so deeply and completely by someone is rare.

 

[maudikie]

maudikie.

It is very touching and very heartfelt. But it is up to her wha happens next. So I should leave it at that.


Better to have loved and lost thannever to haveloved at all.

 

[mr_c]

It is very touching and very heartfelt. But it is up to her wha happens next. So I should leave it at that.


Better to have loved and lost thannever to haveloved at all.

Thanks for the reply, i plan to, i felt i needed to say these things purely so she has an idea of what i feel for her, but you are right it is up to her.

Better to have loved and lost thannever to haveloved at all.

Lol i wish i had never loved at all.

 

[mr_c]

Thank you all for your replys,


Shame that i sent the email to begin with as now she doesnt even want to be friends, i havent been on for a while as i had taken another bad turn.


I tried my best and even though shes gone for good, im going to suceed.

 

[Arkie]

God, this looks like something I would have written, the story behind is sounds frighteningly familiar.

First off, be thankful that you had someone, it can come again and it might even be with her, at least you have the capacity to love a lot of people don't.

Good on you on getting diagnosed, stay on the tight and narrow keep doing it right. And remember that a diagnosis and meds are all good and fine, but they are a tool to better yourself with not the solution.

Show her the changes, don't just write to her about it, invite her for coffee or go do something nice and casual together, this will take time.

Time is painful, you sit around waiting for answers to emails like this, you want contact constantly and being apart makes you anxious? If thats the case then your just like me, welcome to the club

 

[greebobeebo]

You are my world xxxxx, i love you more than life, I miss you like the Moon misses the night, i want you like a flower wants rain.

I wish someone said that to me.

Anyway, that aside. I think it may have been too much too soon for your ex. As you say it's been 4 months. Maybe in a year you should send another email, not quite so honest.

Were you this open about your feelings when you were together? If not then, its a scary situation for her because this is not who she fell in love with.

She has to get used to the idea of a new you and learn to trust that what comes out of your mouth is not a lie.

Plus all the other stuff you have both been through has to be re worded if you like.

I know that if you were my X I would be highly suspicious, not just because you would have learning difficulties and wouldn't know one end of a computer from the other , but also because I would be wondering what you wanted and whether you were just saying these things to get back in to my life.

My X made loads of promises to get back in my life, he told me that he was back on his tablets and that he was also seeing an alternative therapist, he was also supposed to be seeing his counsellor again. He was talking out of his arse, he was saying what he thought I wanted to hear, all it did was make me even more wary.

The last 2 paragraphs are my own personal experience and in no way am I saying that this is how your X feels.

Good Luck with your health and well being

Alex