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I Just Realized Guilt Has Been Running My Life. What Now?

N

NorasDad

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 15, 2019
Messages
123
#1
Hi All,

I just realized (and by "just" I mean in the last 15 minutes) that guilt has been running my life. I can't even start on the legion of difficulties that has caused.

I have to fix it - you know? HAVE to. HAVE TO!!! Or, I have to oppose it - with all my strength!

I can't even describe it. ANY situation that makes me feel guilty, I HAVE to act! I have to. I can't possibly let it go. If I don't act, something terrible will happen. Again, we've all been there.

Or have we?

I am getting SUPER better right now and the realizations are coming thick and fast. But my question is: "How do I distinguish between insane OCD guilt and healthy shame?" If I dominate a conversation because of course "something terrible will happen" if I don't set this person on the right path (or at least try), I know that's bad - at least I know now.

But that's an easy example. My inner world has no barometer for guilt. It's either all the way on or off for as long as I can keep it at bay.

How do I think about the world now?
 
blacksmoke

blacksmoke

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2015
Messages
8,035
Location
basketville
#2
What you resist persists…

well done for having the insight about this! Insight aint all its cracked up to be lol. But it can start to change your life.

Fighting stuff just makes it grow stronger imo first can you forgive yourself? and then awareness of when these guilt feelings surface. Ask yourself ,What triggers them? and why.

Yep the realisations …funny how they always come in batches. You can only suggest stuff to folk and then its really up to them. what seems obvious to you might not be the same to someone else and besides someone may have thought that about you once and ask yourself would you have been open to hearing what that person said?

Life, best to keep it simples and that means changing the things that are in our ability to change and best not to take up your time lots of time and energy ‘changing’ others. caring about others is different i guess...but dont get hooked into ....you may actually loose freinds doing this its tricky
 
N

NorasDad

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 15, 2019
Messages
123
#3
What you resist persists…

well done for having the insight about this! Insight aint all its cracked up to be lol. But it can start to change your life.

Fighting stuff just makes it grow stronger imo first can you forgive yourself? and then awareness of when these guilt feelings surface. Ask yourself ,What triggers them? and why.

Yep the realisations …funny how they always come in batches. You can only suggest stuff to folk and then its really up to them. what seems obvious to you might not be the same to someone else and besides someone may have thought that about you once and ask yourself would you have been open to hearing what that person said?

Life, best to keep it simples and that means changing the things that are in our ability to change and best not to take up your time lots of time and energy ‘changing’ others. caring about others is different i guess...but dont get hooked into ....you may actually loose freinds doing this its tricky

Good stuff.

Actually I was just giving one small example. In terms of what triggers my toxic guilt?

Waking up in the morning.

Seriously.

It's nuts.

Anyway, as you say, we move forward in life because nobody yet has found reverse.

Thanks