- Mar 19, 2019
PS: I recommend this book as a starting point - it's very helpful. xNarcissistic parents are professionals at making us feel at fault. Should we dare to have a moment of strength to stand up for ourselves, they'll catalogue every bad or embarrassing thing we have ever done . It's like looking in a warped, fairground mirror - they distort your past..re-write it completely to make themselves the hero or the injured party...attribute all their own ugly emotions to you...vividly recall your one emotional outburst whilst they conveniently delete their hundreds of rages and vicious attacks...they'll badmouth you to every family member and isolate you...the list goes on and on.
And d'you know what? We always feel guilty. We always doubt ourselves...because they have conditioned us to.
And we always go back and make amends...because we have craved love and approval from this person for our entire lives and we never stop seeking it.
I wish I could wave a magic wand and change her for you - but I can't. What I CAN do is give you a true reflection of yourself. You are not weak or stupid or spiteful or promiscuous or evil or useless or an embarrassment or a trouble maker or a disappointment or a loser...or any of the other things she tells you.
You are an intelligent woman with a warm heart and a beautiful soul.
The reality is she is probably jealous of you.
We can support you here - and you will meet lots of lovely people who can help restore your faith in yourself and your belief that this is temporary. You can count on me and you're welcome to PM any time.
I know this is of little comfort right now - but believe me when I tell you that these experiences will make you such a strong and competent adult...and your past becomes valuable as a tool to help other people.
First step - please...find some counselling for yourself. You need that support.
HUGE hug and lots and lots of love to you. xxx