• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

i just hate what they are doing

D

despised

Active member
Joined
Jul 1, 2020
Messages
34
Location
texas
my family doesn't care if they are talking about how fat and heavy i am and i'm only around 160 or 155 they just don't care how that hurts me i was laying on our mini freezer and i was told to get off because i was fat and i made a face at my mom and i said rude, and she said "whats rude about it you're bigger and you'll break it" i don't think they know how bad i struggle with my appearance and my weight they don't give a shit if they hurt my feelings that i need to respect them because they are my parents i'm just a kid in a adult's body i would like the same respect i'm suppose to give them instead of being treated like shit i relieve my stress in the worst way possible but what else can i do listening to music doesn't help none of the things that are suppose to bring me "joy" help it feels like i don't enjoy things like i used to and i'm scared
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
13,291
Location
Nowhere
are you living with them despised ?

any way of getting your own place
where you can work on your healing

:grouphug: 🐢 🎼 🎶
 
D

despised

Active member
Joined
Jul 1, 2020
Messages
34
Location
texas
are you living with them despised ?

any way of getting your own place
where you can work on your healing

:grouphug: 🐢 🎼 🎶
yeah because i was told by my mom i'm not fit to live by myself plus i have no job which is hard to find one i have no friends to stay with
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
3,321
Location
Glasgow
my family doesn't care if they are talking about how fat and heavy i am and i'm only around 160 or 155 they just don't care how that hurts me i was laying on our mini freezer and i was told to get off because i was fat and i made a face at my mom and i said rude, and she said "whats rude about it you're bigger and you'll break it" i don't think they know how bad i struggle with my appearance and my weight they don't give a shit if they hurt my feelings that i need to respect them because they are my parents i'm just a kid in a adult's body i would like the same respect i'm suppose to give them instead of being treated like shit i relieve my stress in the worst way possible but what else can i do listening to music doesn't help none of the things that are suppose to bring me "joy" help it feels like i don't enjoy things like i used to and i'm scared
Hey you are a beautiful human being! They sound like mean folk who dont thet the concept that we are all unique.

Do t listen to anyone that puts you down! We are all beautuful wee animials in all our own weird and wonderfull ways!
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
3,321
Location
Glasgow
yeah because i was told by my mom i'm not fit to live by myself plus i have no job which is hard to find one i have no friends to stay with
hey im a total retrobate! But im still a human just like you. We are all special and dont let anyone tell you otherwise. Anyone who says stuff like that doesn't deserve to be a wee special human
 
B

Blue Smurf

Member
Joined
Dec 1, 2011
Messages
10
GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
3,321
Location
Glasgow
GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy
Who wrote that?
 
L

Lizaje

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jul 20, 2020
Messages
711
Location
Idk
Is the bigger problem your anxiety about your appearance, your weight in itself (to you, i.e. are you actively trying to lose weight because it often goes with great anxiety about it) or your family?

The situation you describe, from my perspective, does not sound like your mother was trying to hurt your feelings. Some people think of weight as something that is not a personal issue. I know such people — particularly older people. They've never got to the must-be-skinny-and-attractive-to-be-accepted mindset, some of them were raised at a time when people didn't have enough food and the concern was how to stay healthy and strong with the little they could afford.

Some are more considerate and know that others have issues with their self image, but others are quite ignorant about that and talk about people's weight in a direct manner, "you've gained so much weight since I saw you..." or "you've become so skinny, do you have enough to eat?" and they don't mean anything bad by it. On the contrary, sometimes they are just genuinely concerned for your wellbeing.
 
B

Blue Smurf

Member
Joined
Dec 1, 2011
Messages
10
GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy
Max Erhmann in 1927, still so relevant to today, he has written some other great poems but this is my go to
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
3,321
Location
Glasgow
Max Erhmann in 1927, still so relevant to today, he has written some other great poems but this is my go to
Literary works that move the soul? Oh yes. Im a music man but yes that floats my boat. Thankyou for teaching me somthing new
 
D

despised

Active member
Joined
Jul 1, 2020
Messages
34
Location
texas
Is the bigger problem your anxiety about your appearance, your weight in itself (to you, i.e. are you actively trying to lose weight because it often goes with great anxiety about it) or your family?

The situation you describe, from my perspective, does not sound like your mother was trying to hurt your feelings. Some people think of weight as something that is not a personal issue. I know such people — particularly older people. They've never got to the must-be-skinny-and-attractive-to-be-accepted mindset, some of them were raised at a time when people didn't have enough food and the concern was how to stay healthy and strong with the little they could afford.

Some are more considerate and know that others have issues with their self image, but others are quite ignorant about that and talk about people's weight in a direct manner, "you've gained so much weight since I saw you..." or "you've become so skinny, do you have enough to eat?" and they don't mean anything bad by it. On the contrary, sometimes they are just genuinely concerned for your wellbeing.
"Is the bigger problem your anxiety about your appearance, your weight in itself (to you, i.e. are you actively trying to lose weight because it often goes with great anxiety about it) or your family?" well i do have anxiety but not about my appearance or my weight its an over all anxiety and social anxiety even if its just my family im talking to i get anxiety so i barely talk to them and my appearance and weight i have low self esteem, i was bullied in school and at home never had a break from that so my low self esteem stem from that and me believing the words that were told to me, i feel like i eat 10x my own weight but i really don't, i eat because i am depressed and don't know what to do about it because i'm having a hard time losing weight i even tried eating once a day it didn't work.

"they don't mean anything bad by it. On the contrary, sometimes they are just genuinely concerned for your wellbeing." well in my family there is no caring about my wellbeing at all i have no support system not even when i'm going through a crisis or mental breakdowns that i usually "deal with" myself or when i was being bullied at school or by my brother. so theres no helping my situation
 
Z

Zoe1

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2019
Messages
13,291
Location
Nowhere
do you have anyone outside the family that you get on with despised ?
preferably a GP family doctor, a vicar , or even just an older member
of your community or well actually any member of your community
that you feel is a reliable person

there must be someone you can speak to

if not keep looking online
there is Overeaters Anonymous that do very good Zoom meetings
and you dont have to live near them
its also free of charge


:grouphug: 🎶🎼💜:cheer:🐢
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
5,079
Location
Nashua NH
my family doesn't care if they are talking about how fat and heavy i am and i'm only around 160 or 155 they just don't care how that hurts me i was laying on our mini freezer and i was told to get off because i was fat and i made a face at my mom and i said rude, and she said "whats rude about it you're bigger and you'll break it" i don't think they know how bad i struggle with my appearance and my weight they don't give a shit if they hurt my feelings that i need to respect them because they are my parents i'm just a kid in a adult's body i would like the same respect i'm suppose to give them instead of being treated like shit i relieve my stress in the worst way possible but what else can i do listening to music doesn't help none of the things that are suppose to bring me "joy" help it feels like i don't enjoy things like i used to and i'm scared
Your parents might not be aware of how much it hurts you and affects your self
esteem when they make comments about your weight that way. Maybe you should let them know. xo, j
 
L

Lizaje

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jul 20, 2020
Messages
711
Location
Idk
"Is the bigger problem your anxiety about your appearance, your weight in itself (to you, i.e. are you actively trying to lose weight because it often goes with great anxiety about it) or your family?" well i do have anxiety but not about my appearance or my weight its an over all anxiety and social anxiety even if its just my family im talking to i get anxiety so i barely talk to them and my appearance and weight i have low self esteem, i was bullied in school and at home never had a break from that so my low self esteem stem from that and me believing the words that were told to me, i feel like i eat 10x my own weight but i really don't, i eat because i am depressed and don't know what to do about it because i'm having a hard time losing weight i even tried eating once a day it didn't work.

"they don't mean anything bad by it. On the contrary, sometimes they are just genuinely concerned for your wellbeing." well in my family there is no caring about my wellbeing at all i have no support system not even when i'm going through a crisis or mental breakdowns that i usually "deal with" myself or when i was being bullied at school or by my brother. so theres no helping my situation
How about a doctor or a psychologist - schools often have one? Actually pretty much all schools have a person whom to speak with in a situation like this. Some kind of a counsellor if not a psychologist. But if you can go see a doctor, it's good. They should direct you somewhere where you can have counselling sessions or even therapy and they could also prescribe you medication. (I'm kind of assuming you haven't had any of these, but maybe you have).

My experience on moving out early because you don't feel comfortable at home, is that it isn't necessarily worth it, particularly if you have mental health issues and things like low self esteem on your way. Because when you get away from your family, all your other problems will follow you.

You say you don't enjoy doing things,
— then do something that is useful even if you don't enjoy it. Cleanliness and order in the home is one thing that tends to affect your mood.
 
P

Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
619
Location
UK
i would like the same respect i'm suppose to give them instead of being treated like shit i relieve my stress in the worst way possible but what else can i do listening to music doesn't help none of the things that are suppose to bring me "joy" help it feels like i don't enjoy things like i used to and i'm scared
I do not think you should be treated like dirt either, but i think she needed to tell you to come off the freezer, if she let you stay on the freezer to not hurt your feelings, she could have been right and you might have broken the freezer. 70kg/150/155lbs is heavy enough to break an appliance, although i was quite muscular but not much body fat when i weighed that much. I do not think you are fat from your weight, people that weigh 13 stone are also very skinny but look big boned, i cannot explain it. I am 14.5 stone now, i have a belly but i feel skinny.
 
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