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I just dont think relationships are for me as much as id love them to be

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beautywithin

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Im in a relation I have been with my GF (Im gay) for 2 years and its been quite hard, She loves attention even if she knows they like her she will still keep them there and make genuine time for them knowing they fancy her, I don't trust easily so as u can imagine dealing with this type of trait in someone is very difficult. I'm actually going through it at the moment theres a woman that just seems to find away possible to message her even though shes blocked her off social media shes now messaging her on xbox but my gf will do things to make me paranoid because she like to see I care and want her but to me shes going the wrong way about it and im seriously considering ending our relationship because I cant trust her, shes cheated in every relationship shes been in but shes she loves me and wouldn't do that but she cheats emotionally I feel. So yep I really struggle relationship wise id prob be better single forever.

Or may be with someone who isn't attention crazy and who has a friend from back in the days randomly pop up who ive never heard off.
 
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bpd2020

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I think the issue is the people you are dating. Your girlfriend is triggering you by maintaining contact with people who find her attractive. It is common for us to chose partners who do not treat us well as we are used to being treated this way and we naturally gravitate towards such people. You deserve to be treated with respect and shown love without strings attached.
 
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beautywithin

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I think the issue is the people you are dating. Your girlfriend is triggering you by maintaining contact with people who find her attractive. It is common for us to chose partners who do not treat us well as we are used to being treated this way and we naturally gravitate towards such people. You deserve to be treated with respect and shown love without strings attached.
Thank you , she does hit my triggers and my mental health has been quite up and down since getting together. I just think I put my all in and I give what I can im romantic and I remember the tiny important details but not enough they will always be something I don't bring to the table that will be brought up like there perfect themselves and I get that one your paranoid hahahaha its like I can point out all the reasons why I am x
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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I’m really sorry to hear that you are unhappy in a relationship where your partner seems the attention of many people outside the relationship. I’m sure it can make you feel insecure, jealous and that somehow you are not enough. Have you taken the time to talk with your partner about your feelings on the matter? She might not know how much you are affected by it. Maybe if she did know how unhappy and insecure it was making you frel
she would change. I hope that your love life takes a turn for the better. xo, j
 
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bpd2020

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Thank you , she does hit my triggers and my mental health has been quite up and down since getting together. I just think I put my all in and I give what I can im romantic and I remember the tiny important details but not enough they will always be something I don't bring to the table that will be brought up like there perfect themselves and I get that one your paranoid hahahaha its like I can point out all the reasons why I am x
It is not fair for her to blame your feelings on having bpd. You have very valid reasons for feeling the way you do. Her communicating with people who find her attractive is disrespectful to wards you.
 
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beautywithin

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I’m really sorry to hear that you are unhappy in a relationship where your partner seems the attention of many people outside the relationship. I’m sure it can make you feel insecure, jealous and that somehow you are not enough. Have you taken the time to talk with your partner about your feelings on the matter? She might not know how much you are affected by it. Maybe if she did know how unhappy and insecure it was making you frel
she would change. I hope that your love life takes a turn for the better. xo, j
Hi thank you for commenting, we have spoken about it and she said she didn't realise it was making me feel that way but I think she did, she has chosen not to have a phone because we end up arguing because she happens to make a new friend and she literally becomes obsessed with them, talks to them more than me and when she is talking to me its telling me stuff about them even message them while we suppose to be having couple time and watching a film. So basically she hasn't got a mobile because she knows she cant help her self. That's how I have taken it
 
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beautywithin

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It is not fair for her to blame your feelings on having bpd. You have very valid reasons for feeling the way you do. Her communicating with people who find her attractive is disrespectful to wards you.
That's what I said and to be honest I have never questioned my own thoughts and feeling as much since we got together, even with having BPD I have never questioned the way I feel when I have the reasons there in front of me but with her I feel I do, the more I write the more I question why im with the person other than love
 
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bpd2020

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That's what I said and to be honest I have never questioned my own thoughts and feeling as much since we got together, even with having BPD I have never questioned the way I feel when I have the reasons there in front of me but with her I feel I do, the more I write the more I question why im with the person other than love
I think it is cruel to blame you having bpd on how you feel. I was friends with a man who ended up having feelings for me. My partner asked me not to talk to him any more as it hurt him and I did. I think she should do the same for you.
 
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Char3

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I don’t think you should be with this girl. You’re obviously very different and as someone with BPD you will need to have someone making you feel secure.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

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I don’t think you should be with this girl. You’re obviously very different and as someone with BPD you will need to have someone making you feel secure.
I agree. But the heart goes where it wants so i really hope you can be happy xx
 
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beautywithin

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Thank you all I do really appreciate your comments, I do love her so much even though I do think sometimes we aren't the perfect match. I do think if anything happens again I would just end it as I have to think of my health and cant be sat there insecure and questioning everything. xx
 
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