I just don't care anymore

[TheLonelyMan]

Usually when I harm myself I immediately regret it afterwards. Now I don't care at all. I also only used a small part of my left arm. But the last few days I just don't care anymore. The area I injured is way bigger than a few days ago and now I also use my right arm. The worst thing is that I only worry about spring, when I'll be wearing t-shirts again. Before this I was 3 weeks clean and I didn't even do it daily. Now I did it the past three days every day.

 

[njmisdesperate]

Life is really hard, I agree with you 100%. I first self-harmed as a small child. If you ever want to PM me, you're welcome to. I'm going through a difficult path of depression right now. My dad is trying to distract me by taking me to swimming lessons. I'd love to get to know u better.

 

[Tawny]

The problem with self-harm like that is that other people can see it. I would hate anyone to know anything about me that i did not tell them, i am very private about my mental health. People i know that see self harm scars on other people presume they are druggies. I try really hard to put across a certain image, because my feelings are private.

You really don't want that on show in the summer. Some scars never heal.

I also care that you are feeling that desperate. I don't know how you can cope in another way, i cannot think of anything. I have punched the pillow, the mattress but really the main coping strategies i have are loud music, can of cider, or medication. Music and cider are my desperate times though. Can you try that for me, please.

Take care, be careful of infection and be careful of all those other things because if you get the wrong place you can end up with nerve damage and that would be one more thing to cope with.

 

[TheSadnessWillLastForever]

I understand how you feel, im in that same place right now. If I feel like doing it, I’ll do it with no hesitation, I dont even try to fight it. I dont care about being clean. Getting therapy and hopefully that helps, maybe it can help you too?

 

[Lostlady333]

Usually when I harm myself I immediately regret it afterwards. Now I don't care at all. I also only used a small part of my left arm. But the last few days I just don't care anymore. The area I injured is way bigger than a few days ago and now I also use my right arm. The worst thing is that I only worry about spring, when I'll be wearing t-shirts again. Before this I was 3 weeks clean and I didn't even do it daily. Now I did it the past three days every day.

I’m sorry that you’re going through this. Self harming unfortunately becomes an addictive behaviour. Often it feels good to feel physical pain and not just mental pain. I know I would feel very embarrassed and ashamed if people saw my wounds/scars. And covering up in the warmer months becomes uncomfortable.
when you feel like harming try really hard to wait five minutes, then another five minutes for as long as it takes for the urge to pass. Take care.