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I heard a voice that woke me up.

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blacksheepgirl

New member
Joined
Feb 8, 2013
Messages
4
I heard a child's voice say. "I believe." That woke me up. What's that all about. I have bad anxiety, depression, ptsd, and don't have a psychiatrist/therapist anymore. Idk what to think of that. I've seen people in my head, but I dk I just maybe have a good imagination? One day I saw a boy running around me and giggling. I could see him like he was real in a way. He was running around the sidewalk and around my excersise michine, but is it just my imagination? I'm very scared of guys. When I was little it used to be old men, now it is all men. Please let me know what you think of this. Could any of my health problems contribute? I have cortisone defficiancy, septo optic dysplaisa, epilepsy*absence seizures* I have this feeling when I have seizures like a wave goes through my body and lately I've been having the same type of thing alot and sometimes my face feels weird like a mask, or something is over it. I need someone's help. I had abuse when I was a kid. So idk. I wanted to kill myself since I was prob 6 I guess. If it wasn't for God I might've done that. And I had the most terrible sexual fantasies at a young age and I had sleeping problems. I'd end up going to sleep at 1, 2, 3... or so in the morning. Was that just me? I don't think so. I know of a lady who hurt me, but my mom said when i was little like a toddler, or something she was worried he hurt me because when he'd go to pick me up I'd yell/cry. I never like him very much. He made me feel uncomfotable. I remember one time he took my stuffy and put it's tail between it's legs and my mom says she remembers him asking me if I was wearing a bra. I'm sorry to bring all this up.. it's just I feel like If I do not tell you then you won't know. I've felt for the longest time I wouldn't live very long. Maybe till 43, or something. Maybe 45? I'm almost 40 now. Please someone let me know. ~bsg ps i'm so scared ppl hear my conversations on the phone, cell phone esp and follow me and wanna hurt me. It's all because I'm so scared of men. I just keep thinking of things I haven't mentioned. Ok I'm done now.
 
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blacksheepgirl

New member
Joined
Feb 8, 2013
Messages
4
There was a few times when I was on the phone with my friend I felt I was hearing whispering voices. It scared me. Idk if it was just stuff on the line..*static*, or what. I don't hear voices all the time so I wondered, but I see ppl talking and stuf, but I've seen that since I was a kid I guess. :eek:
 
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fallen

Former member
Hi blacksheepgirl,

Welcome to the forums.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through so much. Have you ever sought treatment or therapy? If not, I would advise that you see you gp for referral to a mental health team. Hearing voices can be associated with certain mental health conditions. I understand that it is a scary experience although it is important to point out to you that these voices cannot harm you and you are not alone.

Please keep posting-there are many members who have been through similar and will listen and advise you.

xfallenx
:hug1:
 
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blacksheepgirl

New member
Joined
Feb 8, 2013
Messages
4
I told them my concerns, but they just said it's from abuse. :eek: Now I don't have one anymore. My friend says it was a dream.
 
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fallen

Former member
I'm not a professional but it could be that you are suffering from something like PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) as a result of the abuse. This is obviously having a huge effect on your life, saying it is 'just....abuse' is a disgusting way to deal with you. You deserve to be treated-it is your gp's responsibility to ensure you are given that treatment. Could you either go to a different gp or the same one but take someone you trust with you? If not you can speak to the mental health charity Mind who provide varous services including counselling and advocacy: Mental Health - Mind, The Mental Health Charity - Mind

Don't give up fighting to get the help you need. :hug1:
 
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blacksheepgirl

New member
Joined
Feb 8, 2013
Messages
4
I'Hi I appriciate your help. It wasn't from my general practictioner it was from my counselor I used to have. I had a psychiatrist, but I only saw her a few times. She wasn't really interested in really talking to me she just wanted to put me on meds. The one she put me on *effexor* I dk if it helped. I had tried it the year before. She said she feels i prob have ptsd, but we only talked a few times... I never got in detail about anything much at all. All she wrote was depressive NOS. IDk what that is .. I heard it's just a billing thing. I'm just so lonely and I really don't have anone I totally trust. When I try to tell them stuff that happened they'll say oh that's just how ... ppl are.. :/ I used to be more of a social butterfly though I was very insecure, but now I am much more isolated. I'll check that website out. Thanks. I'm in the usa. Big hugs. :))
 
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fallen

Former member
Sorry, I didn't realise that you were from the USA-we do have members from there but predominantly we have members from the UK, hence why I gave you the website details for Mind. I can recommend going to this site: Befrienders Worldwide where if you put in the USA in the country box you will get a list of various companies/charities that can help you. I hope this is of more use to you!:doh:

It does sound like you need more help than you've got so far and I appreciate that it is harder if you are isolated. Unfortunately, lots of members have reported that family/friends sometimes show little/no understanding of what mental illness is like- I, too, have found this. You don't need to feel that you are alone here.

Please feel free to look around the rest of the site-you may find some the experiences of others to be of use to you-join in the discussions if you wish and post any questions where appropriate. Give me a shout if you need any help finding your way around.

:hug1:
 
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