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I Have Toxic Parents and I Don’t Know What Should I Do



New member
May 18, 2020
Hello. I’m a girl living in Indonesia and I’m currently 20 years old. I’ve just realized 2 years ago that the term of “toxic parents” exists. All this time I just thought that my parents are stubborn and selfish. So, I live in a house with my mom, dad, and 2 brothers. I’m their only daughter. They give me a lot of chores, but I can’t always do that because right now I’m in university and I’m studying architecture, which has a lot of assignments. They never really give appreciation for what I’ve done. Once I got the 1st place in an architecture competition but they didn’t even congratulate me. They always say that I’m not enough, I’m not like the other kids (always comparing me to their friend’s children). I’m not the type of person that get sad that easily. But right now, I’m starting to get depressed by them.

You guys know because of this Covid-19 situation, school and university is closed and we’re doing an “online school” thing. Then, of course I’m going to be on my laptop a lot. But, my mom just said to me that I’m on my laptop all day and I don’t help her with the chores. Then, I have this hobby of doing digital drawing and she said to me “you’re doing useless thing”. I was so hurt when she said that because that’s my hobby and you said that’s useless. She’s saying it just as if doing my hobby is useless and i should’ve just do the chores.

I usually just make the school (or university) as my runaway, because there I don’t meet my parents, I have my friends and my classes that just kinda make me forget about this “toxic parents” problem. But now because or the covid-19 situation we can’t go to school and we can’t go anywhere else either.

They never ask about our (me my brothers) feelings. They always talk about their feelings, how they’re so tired, how their feet hurt from going up and down the stairs so much (we live in a 3 level house). They literally never asked how we’re doing, what we’re doing.

I don’t know what should I do because I can’t move out until I get married and that might still be about 3-4 years from now. I don’t think I can handle it for that long. Sometimes I think the best way is to cry about that because it makes me feel relieved, but I can’t do that now because my parents sleep in my room because their room’s AC is broken. I can’t even express my sadness. Please tell me how to deal with this situation.


Well-known member
Mar 9, 2012
Tigger and Willow's house UK
Hi and welcome to the forum, we're happy to have you here :welcome: i'm sorry you have toxic parents,do you have any friends you can spend a few days at the house of after this covid situation is over? :hug: