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i have to die

Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Apr 9, 2011
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Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
because wen my aunt dies i won't have a carer and she is 90
there will be nobody to prompt me
it isn't fair

i probably still won't bath/dress/take medication/eat properly and be unable to cope with people in RL
but i can't claim because i haven't got a carer?
it isn't fair!
i know somebody who acknowledges she is not as bad as me but she gets higher rate because she lives with her husband and they can put he looks after her

so through no fault of my own i will live alone and have no help and i can't claim anything?
or get anyone to support me with forms/letters

i have to die-do you see i have no choice x :low:
 
R

Rusalochka

Guest
I thought your aunt was okay? I know she's in her 90's, but is she still ill?
 
Funnyday

Funnyday

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Joined
Oct 15, 2016
Messages
511
because wen my aunt dies i won't have a carer and she is 90
there will be nobody to prompt me
it isn't fair

i probably still won't bath/dress/take medication/eat properly and be unable to cope with people in RL
but i can't claim because i haven't got a carer?
it isn't fair!
i know somebody who acknowledges she is not as bad as me but she gets higher rate because she lives with her husband and they can put he looks after her

so through no fault of my own i will live alone and have no help and i can't claim anything?
or get anyone to support me with forms/letters

i have to die-do you see i have no choice x :low:
I too struggle with daily tasks. I have a social worker who I see every now and then. As well as a psychiatrist. When I have any benefit reviews they contact my team of carers to confirm my status. Last time my CPN said that I didn't have any mobility needs. Which means that I didn't qualify for the mobility componant of PIP. Not very helpful.

Have you got anyone who you see that could assist you in finding additional support?
 
DanL15000

DanL15000

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 5, 2018
Messages
447
Location
United States
because wen my aunt dies i won't have a carer and she is 90
there will be nobody to prompt me
it isn't fair

i probably still won't bath/dress/take medication/eat properly and be unable to cope with people in RL
but i can't claim because i haven't got a carer?
it isn't fair!
i know somebody who acknowledges she is not as bad as me but she gets higher rate because she lives with her husband and they can put he looks after her

so through no fault of my own i will live alone and have no help and i can't claim anything?
or get anyone to support me with forms/letters

i have to die-do you see i have no choice x :low:
My friend, Fairy Lu, I love you so much for all the good you do on this board. You brighten everyone's day with your kindness and charm.

Something may happen when your aunt does pass away. Or maybe nothing. Maybe you are right that things will be impossible. But I hope so much that you might also see that what lies ahead is never certain.

May I please give you a little info about my life's journey?

30 months ago, I was thinking of suicide everyday and had made plans on how to get it done. But I had also finally, finally, finally found healthcare and was just getting into the process of mental health care and actually accepting I needed it and working with my professionals. And I talked at an appointment with a very carrying Licensed Therapist who I promised I would not act out on my plans without talking to her first.

I then told her, "But I won't promise to not give up. I reserve the right not to suffer and IF I end up homeless which is very likely, I will consider that the end. I can't live like that."

Lu, it sounds like what you are envisioning. A change in your life where things will get so bad you can't live that way?

Then, 29 months ago my fear came true. I was thrown out because I received a phone call while I was napping and someone was upset they had to answer the phone. So there it was, no place to stay. No income, no money. But I did have a vehicle so I drove to the Psychiatrists office and slept in the van until they opened (it wasn't really sleeping...just trying while my mind raced.)

I was taken to my Therapist and the "emergency" plan that I had no idea what that meant started. They sent me to a mental illness wing of a hospital on suicide watch. Turns out the hospital won't release anyone unless they have a place to go. It would be a homeless shelter...but it would be food and a roof. Of course, since one of my Disorders is Agoraphobia you can imagine what the idea of beds just three feet apart in a crowded room seemed like to me.

But between my Therapist and someone in the Hospital, they got permission for me to move back in with my relative. I think they applied a "guilt trip" to him.

So back to living in a house where I wasn't welcome...but it was a room to be alone and food. All this time was in the middle of my battle to proof I was disabled.

I've talked before about 25 months ago and being thrown out again. People might get tired of hearing this, but this time not only was I on the street with nowhere to go, in such bad physical shape that I wasn't going to get far anyway, owning little and mostly junk and by now no vehicle because I had to sell it rather than leave it sit without gas, maintenance, insurance..no, best to get rid of it.

You know, looking back I think the money for selling it went to the people I was staying with? And I remember them trying to take this computer I'm typing on right now...the only thing I had that WAS valuable. Gosh, I hadn't thought about that part. Feels like they were picking at my bones like vultures.

Anyway...that's when, as I've said before, a nephew drove up to me...he had found out I was tossed out and came to look for me. He put me into his car and took me to his apartment and gave me a couch to sleep on.

And dang but other relatives found out about my situation and some got together and rented me an apartment and paid my utilities. One helped me fight for disability and it was a year ago I finally won!

I could go on and on but here is the thing. I had no idea or way of knowing or even guessing that all the help and good fortune was coming.

I am so glad I didn't do some of the things I was trying to talk myself into...or I'd have missed many good things today.

So what I'm trying to say, is your aunt isn't gone. And I can't take away your worry but please don't give up because of what you think may happen. You never know. You just never know. Hang in there.

Lu, the world needs good people like you. Please, give the world a chance to surprise you.
 
Last edited:
Cazcat

Cazcat

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Staff Member on Leave
Joined
Sep 12, 2013
Messages
2,423
Have you got a social worker Lu, it would be social services who would be responsible for providing you with carers to prompt you with these things if your Aunt wasn't able to.
 
Cazcat

Cazcat

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Joined
Sep 12, 2013
Messages
2,423
Infact it would be worth asking your CPN and support worker to get a social worker in place to make a clear plan for you so that you know what will happen. I know that you have talked about a plan for supported housing in the future.
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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Moderator
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Jan 4, 2013
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9,873
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England
Hi Lu,
I think you can still claim, as it's the care you need even if you don't actually receive any.
Please don't hurt yourself
Take care honey
 
DanL15000

DanL15000

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Joined
Jun 5, 2018
Messages
447
Location
United States
There are so many smart people on this board. :)

Thank you folks who have knowledge about what Lu can do for helping her. Thank you so much!
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
33,206
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
don't have a social worker ,won't even have cpn soon
thanks for trying to help
really appreciate it
i like what mayflower says
but i honestly don't feel any better :low:
 
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