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I have regrets and I feel really sad!

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Purple_Black

New member
Joined
Oct 2, 2017
Messages
2
Hi everyone,

I tried looking at all the forums to see which one would be best for me to post in. I was thinking a 'general' forum. I don't have any mental health conditions. I have Aspergers. Although I think a person could feel similar to how I feel even if they didn't have Aspergers or Autism. I am a service user at a Autism Drop-in Centre. There is a member of staff there who I have feelings for. 'My regrets are what I call not giving myself the best chance of maybe being in a relationship with her'. And I am feeling really sad and I cry a lot. I don't want to cry in public and I try hard to stop myself, but at home I cry a lot and I live alone. I am posting here as I hope I can maybe feel a bit better either from talking about things or from any advice I may receive from this forum. Does anyone know of any ways to combat thinking of regrets and dwelling on them? The member of staff who I am referring to is also on leave for a year and I am going to miss her! Her computer in the office is away being repaired this makes me very sad too as I am used to seeing her sitting next to it! there is a photo notice board of all the staff at reception, I hope her photo remains! and isn't replaced with a photo of the temporary member of staff as there photo could be added.
 
LORD BURT

LORD BURT

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 8, 2013
Messages
30,820
Location
Mordor
Don't sweat it. Somewhere, somebody finds this person annoying.
 
Kerome

Kerome

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Joined
Sep 29, 2013
Messages
12,751
Location
Europe
In terms of not dwelling on regrets there's a Buddhist exercise that I sometimes do, which is for summoning a state of happiness by reciting to yourself all the reasons you have to feel happy. I usually start with my body, like having eyes that work well, ears that are in good condition, strong legs that carry me places, obedient hands that allow me to do things... it's a long list, which makes me feel well inside.
 
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Purple_Black

New member
Joined
Oct 2, 2017
Messages
2
In terms of not dwelling on regrets there's a Buddhist exercise that I sometimes do, which is for summoning a state of happiness by reciting to yourself all the reasons you have to feel happy. I usually start with my body, like having eyes that work well, ears that are in good condition, strong legs that carry me places, obedient hands that allow me to do things... it's a long list, which makes me feel well inside.
Thanks! I will try this exercise too!
 
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tomghanini2

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2015
Messages
1,596
Location
England
You can spend so long regretting things in the past that u miss out on things happening around you.
 
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tomghanini2

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2015
Messages
1,596
Location
England
You can spend so long regretting things in the past that u miss out on things happening around you.
By the way Purple_Black, this ain't by any means easy to do. I've been torturing myself for 10+ yrs over a single mistake, choosing to say yes to a flat I should've said no to. And now I'm due to return to said flat.

I could spend countless hours crying in the corner, beating myself over the head with my pathetic weakness and stupidity. But I know, logically, that won't help my situation.

I know, logically, there are things I can do to make living there a bit better. Things I can do to disguise the crapness. Ways I need to live to ..... imagine making your way through a field of brambles, there is a path where u won't get cut, just need to find it. I could choose to simply leap into the spikes and scream and scream AND SCREAM, or I can find the path.

Maybe hold on to the feeling that "this is something you will be able to live with" you just need time to work out just HOW you go about that.
 
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