i have no one and i’m lost

K

kevin1998

New member
Joined
Jul 2, 2018
Messages
1
#1
I’ve just left high school, and ever since about a year ago i’ve just felt down and a mixture of negative emotions.

Early in high school I was popular and had lots of ‘friends’. I decided to strip myself of popularity completely as i thought it was bad and leading me down the wrong track.
Since that day i became best friends with someone who had everything in common with me (im not going to mention names, lets just call him A). Me and A became really close and we had 4 others in our friendship group, over the year them 4 left and it was just me and A. But over the past year i just became really low and negative amd what i want to call depression. I spoke to A about my depression and sadness and he just never understood. He would continuously just make me sad unintentionally. Although we were really close i felt like i had no friends, no one to speak to as i feel i cant trust anyone or anything. I feel very uncomfortable expressing my self and find it very hard to trust people. The past few weeks we’ve fallen out because he has other friends who he prefers to spend time with whereas i have no one else. Two days ago we decided to part ways. I just dont know how to move on. The thought of living makes me sick and im terrified for the future. I feel like ending my life would just be an easy way out.

Im sorry if this was mumbly and didnt make sense i just dont know how to put my thoughts into words.
 
calypso

calypso

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#2
Hiya and :welcome: to the forum. You did make sense completely. Depression is sounfair and hard to deal with, I understand. Being alone is such a knock to your self esteem and I understand that. What interests do you have? I ran a group which attracted like minded people and gained friends that way. Is there anything which interests you which could help this way? Sorry Iam a bit distracted at the moment so not helping much, please forgive me. But we are here to listen to you.
 
A

AntipsychoticREFUGEE

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 17, 2018
Messages
107
Location
London, Westmister
#3
You've born 1998? Way too young to give up! Your eyes in relation to life itself are barely squinting! GP, NHS, gym, something. I'm not the best idol on this one though.
 
F

Fancyharm

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Joined
Sep 7, 2018
Messages
261
Location
West Midlands
#4
I hope you come back to the forum soon Kevin1998, there are lots of people on here that will give you good advice.

Please update us asap.

xxxx
 
D

Dulcie

Guest
#5
Welcome to MH, Kevin!

Depression is a mean bugger that drags us down, though you made perfect sense in your post; I understood you well, for people we knew can be spiteful and use us quite unfairly.

What I think though would be a positive step is you turn away from what was, and look to making new friends, for this can be far easier than we think.

I was in a similar position way back, but one of my aunts suggested I set about joining a rambler's club. The first place I looked was my town online, googling "rambler's / walking clubs". Soon I found what aunty was suggesting. I phoned the club up, made a note on when their next walk was and met them at the village hall at the next Saturday morning. I was a shy person, self-effacing and not in the slightest bit sociable, but aunty knew me better and that's what she did - gave me a push in the right direction.

Rambler's clubs are old fashioned. But this hobby is cheap and only requires a coat or wearing a jumper and for starters we get to enjoy a gentle walk, taken at our own pace, walking with others. During autumn it's perfect for picking blackberries and sloes off hedges, walkng is a slow but sure way of getting into conversation. Before your time out has finished, you may well have gotten to know someone new.

Sometime ago when back in England, I joined a rambler's club. People were mixed ages, si I didn't feel I was the youngest. I discovered walks on public footpaths that took us through fields into the next village where we stopped for a pint and a very tasty ploughman's. :p I wore my fedora, a lovely wide brimmed hat made from felted wool. It kept the sun out of my eyes, so lovely to wear with my waxed jacket and walking staff. I made friends that day and a coulpe remain in touch which is rather lovely.

Or join a martial arts club, for there is group of people who could become firm friends with you. Before you know it, you'll have a keen sense of belonging. :)
 

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