I have no idea what to do right now

[Soul_Deeps]

Hey,

I just received a letter from my health insurance saying they won't pay for my planned stationary therapy. I am devastated and did self harm. I have no idea what to do right now and feeling completely desperate. I ran into my bed hiding and eating and self harming, but what now? I should be working on my university application (I really don't have much time and must do this) but I can't, I can't do anything without that therapy and I have no idea who to talk to. Who could even change their mind? I messaged my psychiatrist but haven't got an answer yet. No idea what she could do either.

 

[blacksmoke]

really sorry that you have been refused help i notice this is a few days ago now this post how are things now?

 

[Soul_Deeps]

I am trying writing a text with more details on why I need the therapy. Then my psychiatrist will request that they pay for it again. It's just that I have no idea what to write and I have been only procrastinating so far...

 

[blacksmoke]

can you get help with writing the text?

 

[Soul_Deeps]

Sadly no. I guess I will just have to wait until at some point I manage to do it. That's usually how it works with things I have to do.

 

[Rax]

Hold back on your application and sort your problems out first. University is only going to add more stress. See about self first .

 

[Soul_Deeps]

Yea, that's true. But I have to try it. I really need a way to get out and to meet people, otherwise I can never get better.

 

[Soul_Deeps]

I managed to write the text and send it to my psychiatrist two days ago!!!!! I feel so terrible now because she doesn't respond to it, what can I do? I am pretty sure she is very annoyed by me. But she is like my only chance to get that therapy.

 

[Soul_Deeps]

She still hasn't answered yet and it makes me feel so terrible I wonder if I should send another email?

 

[Soul_Deeps]

I sent another mail at the start of the week but still no response. I feel so horribly abandoned. I should search a new psychiatrist, but that would take months atleast and wouldn't really strengthen my position against the health insurance company... I feel so mich like giving up. I don't understand why everyone always abandons me. I know I am an annoying person but I try my best to not be a nuisance.

 

[Soul_Deeps]

I guess I will just crawl inside myself and never come out. Trying to do university later this year again, I don't know what I was thinking. My new plan is to go to sleep every day and hope that I won't wake up.

The stuff you are required to do to get any form of help is just insane. I have no idea how anyone manages to achieve that. All I know is I am done trying.

 

[Soul_Deeps]

I am seriously desperate. I see no solution to this problem. I don't have any time left, I must now go into stationary therapy or else there will not be enough time anymore before I will go to university. But I can't study without that therapy. But not studying is also not an option. I cannot survive like this another year staying at home.

 

[EstherRose94]

What is stationary therapy?

You said you need to write to your insurance to get it?

And oh my goodness applications are stressful. 🙈 I hated doing mine too!

 

[Soul_Deeps]

Stationary therapy is therapy while living in a psychosomatic clinic. It's the only thing that helped me so far.

I managed to write everything, but my insurance needs further elaboration on why I need the therapy. The problem is that my psychiatrist is ignoring me since weeks now so I have literally zero chance to send that elaboration to the insurance. And time is running for me.

 

[EstherRose94]

Why would your therapist ignore you? Can you maybe ask the insurance company for extra time or at least communicate that issue to them and then like try another method of contacting your therapist?

I’m with you, this shouldn’t be made so hard for you to do!

 

[Soul_Deeps]

I really don't know but she has done it before. Eventually she answered back then but this time, I already messaged her three times but no response. I assume she doesn't want to help me anymore. I can't really call her, so email is my only way.

There is no deadline from the insurance company, the deadline comes from the university start. I can only start studying once a year at a specific time (end September / start october). So the problem is, in order to be able to study, I must finish the therapy before. But it will take months. So I really can't wait any longer, also I can't study without therapy. I am completely broken.

 

[EstherRose94]

Ohh okay I understand now. Well first off let’s try to assume that your therapist is like really busy/ forgetful/ not great at answering promptly rather than that she is annoyed or ignoring you.

I guess if the time doesn’t work out, shoot to get into school next semester? I know that wouldn’t be ideal but it might be okay. Hopefully she answers soon and you don’t have to do that.

 

[Soul_Deeps]

I don't know, she is completely ignoring me since weeks. That's a really long time. Especially considering that she knows in what bad of a place I am. What could I do to solve this? Finding a new one will take many months. There is also that stuff in my head going on telling me the only communication I can have with her until the rest of my life is to never message her again forget her because she abandoned me... Right before I sent a new message begging to her to help me.

Next semester wouldn't be possible, it would be one year later, which is almost one and a half year from now. To be honest, I will start next year (hopefully) at the university where I really want to be. However, until then, I need to study one year something else. I am for too long at home already, I am barely holding up, and the truth is, if can't start this year, I am very certain and convinced I will not survive this year. I just can't anymore.

I am sorry, I know I sound self pity, but I am really thankful you are talking to me.

 

[daffy]

Hi soul deep can I guess that your a younger member of the forum if your applying to university. If so are you still living at home so you have family that can help or do you have an older person that can support you. If not can you see your doctor and see if you can be referred again.

 

[Soul_Deeps]

I wasted a lot of years already in my life, I don't think I can be called young anymore I already had some tries to go to university before but it never went well.

I am living at home again at the moment, but already longer than I intended to. Before when I had uni I always lived outside home. Unfortunately I don't have any friends and my family is really toxic.

Well I could see my doctor, I am just not sure if he could refer me? I don't think he knows psychiatrists, he would probably just give me names or numbers, but not actual appointments. Do you think it would be worth asking him? I could maybe see him tomorrow.