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I have no choice but to live like this...

frisas45

frisas45

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Frustrating isn't it?

Just look at this post to get a better understanding.


Life is hard. The economy's screwed. Hope is bullshit. Everything's fucked.

The only way to deal with pessimism is to toughen up. Work your ass off and endure and push through the pain. Endure the pain as is and forget lesseningvthe pain. I was taught that lessing the pain by enjoying yourself is a sign of weakness.

And the people who say this shit are right.

This mindset ain't healthy. It can fuck a person up. Mentally and phsycally. Sucking up the pain rather than lessening it can bring psychological harm. And it brings physical harm.

But so what? My life is so hopeless and difficult that I have no choice but to work hard to survive and suck up the pain. I can't do what I wanna do. No way!

Not only that, everyone goes through this shit. I wonder if they go through the same pain as I do.
 
frisas45

frisas45

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But unlike my previous post, it isn't my career that makes me miserable. It's living with my mother. She suffered from delusional disorder. She rants and screams all day. She attacks passer-bys. She won't listen to my suggestions take her medications. No matter what I do, she just won't listen.

She have gotten better due to medications. As long as she is being medicated, she won't relapse. But if she does, I won't be able to afford hospital fees. Thanks to COVID-19, there won't be government aid. No family member could offer financial aid. Last year, even the doctors rejected me. And I have to Study hard at this crappy college I go to to survive. And this exhausts me...
 
June Thaw

June Thaw

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That's really hard. I dunno how to respond to ur situation but at least I can be ur ears. If u want to express, talk or shoulder to cry on, u can message me.
 
frisas45

frisas45

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@Nukelavee What is your take on this? I know we discussed this months ago, but I feel like I have no other choice and I'm about to snap...

@Lunar Lady Please help...
 
calypso

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Hiya. I don't know what to suggest. Is there a problem with her taking her meds then? It sounds like a horrendous situation to be in with your mother. Are there health professionals in Korea who she is under as a long term patient? Can they help you at all?

What time do you have for yourself? And what are you studying?
 
frisas45

frisas45

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Hiya. I don't know what to suggest. Is there a problem with her taking her meds then? It sounds like a horrendous situation to be in with your mother. Are there health professionals in Korea who she is under as a long term patient? Can they help you at all?

What time do you have for yourself? And what are you studying?
She suffers from delusional disorder. She is doing well due to her meds. Her symptoms are gone. She goes to Korea's finest hospital to get herself treated.

I am studying Computer Science.
 
calypso

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What do you need help with exactly? Computer science is a brilliant subject and you must be very clever to do that. I am hopeless with computers and rely on my daughter to help me. So you don't have time for yourself what with looking after your mother and everything. Do you have friends who can reach out to you to help you through this tough time?

What are you feeling right now? How are you coping? You are important too and need support too. Its so tricky to find space for yourself isn't it from what you wrote.
 
frisas45

frisas45

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What do you need help with exactly?
I just wanted advice from you or anyone. But since you said you don't know what to suggest, I dunno...

Do you have friends who can reach out to you to help you through this tough time?
I have one. But he's back in the States. Where he lives and I live have different time zones and we can't contact each other. Besides, he's busy.

What are you feeling right now? How are you coping? You are important too and need support too. Its so tricky to find space for yourself isn't it from what you wrote.
I felt depressed. But watching YouTube helped me feel better (video was about F16 fighters).
I do have space for myself. Yesterday, I biked all the way through the river. Saw wonderful sceneries. But I was screwing up academically. But what choice do I have? I need to recover mentally. Now I realized, I can graduate with poor grades in Korea. Besides, if that don't get me jobs, I can enter college again.
 
calypso

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Are you on anti depressants? I don't believe that meds are the answer to everything but they certainly can help. There is a book called Emotional Hijacking by Marlene Schneider Potter which is very good, easy to read and simply put. It really helped me but I don't know if you can still get it. Amazon had a copy and so did Blackwells in England.

I can listen to you and support you but the depression is something that is difficult to help with at a distance. Talk about your feelings on here and let us listen and support you. Do you find it difficult to make friends? I do too so I understand that. Depression eats away at our self confidence and our energy levels, leaving us exhausted doing everything.
 
frisas45

frisas45

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Are you on anti depressants? I don't believe that meds are the answer to everything but they certainly can help. There is a book called Emotional Hijacking by Marlene Schneider Potter which is very good, easy to read and simply put. It really helped me but I don't know if you can still get it. Amazon had a copy and so did Blackwells in England.

I can listen to you and support you but the depression is something that is difficult to help with at a distance. Talk about your feelings on here and let us listen and support you. Do you find it difficult to make friends? I do too so I understand that. Depression eats away at our self confidence and our energy levels, leaving us exhausted doing everything.
I am not suffering from depression. I am suffering from Bipolar disorder. This disorder can be mistaken as depression, but I can go into hypermaniac and go angry. Enraged. I take Lithium and antipsychotics called Lonasen, which is sold in Japan and Korea.
 
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The only way to deal with pessimism is to toughen up. Work your ass off and endure and push through the pain. Endure the pain as is and forget lesseningvthe pain. I was taught that lessing the pain by enjoying yourself is a sign of weakness.
Well, you understand the basis of some of your problems, so that's a decent start.

Have you heard the term "radical acceptance"? On one level, it means not letting yourself worry about things you have no ability to change at teh moment, and so, you just accept that it exists. It's sort of a way of using your emotional resources more effectively. In effect, you deal with the smaller stuff,or the stuff where you can see it being possible to change for the better at this point. And you hope that in the future, a solution will present itself for the problem you are currently just accepting the existence of, if not it's effects on you.

Did that make sense?

I can't do what I wanna do. No way!
This is a good example - School and family and culture have you feeling trapped and overwhelmed, they leave you no time of space for yourself to heal. For now, those things just are, you need to accept it. But, in the future, those concerns may be less powerful; as you get older, you will be able to take more control over life.

Sounds like a cliche, doesn't it? "When you are older, things will be better". I know, they might, they might not. But - act as though you know you will be better and free of these things one day. Prepare yourself to be able to take advantage of later "freedom", or independence.
And the people who say this shit are right.
Well, they aren't right.

Was that any help?
 
calypso

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Sorry, you mentioned depression. I have bipolar too so have some understanding of it. I like what Nukelavee says, it makes sense. I would look up Radical Acceptance online its a great thing to use.
 
N

Nukelavee

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Sorry, you mentioned depression. I have bipolar too so have some understanding of it. I like what Nukelavee says, it makes sense. I would look up Radical Acceptance online its a great thing to use.
On the other hand - don't abuse radical acceptance. That is - don't get into the habit of thinking everything is beyond your ability to change or control.

It's a bit of a balancing act.
 

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