I have difficulty concentrating

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Zoe1

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one of my most embarrassing problems !
people are talking to me and my mind wanders off somewhere
then I have to pretend that I have been listening
or they will think I was not interested and being rude

usually its not that I'm not interested
its just what they are saying makes me think of something myself

and ive been like this since my mothers suicide 35 years ago
and subsequently getting into a violent relationship
with someone with a mental illness

my head is always full of issues that I'm trying to figure out

its very much different on a forum
because I can go back and read the post more than once
if I have lost concentrations

:grouphug:
 
Warrior

Warrior

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@Zoe1 it's not being ignorant you've gone through two major upsets in your life which is totally understandable, I've got short term memory loss and I have to ask people to repeat themselves so I know how you deeply feel...sending :hug:'s
 
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Coolname

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Hi Zoe

That loss of focus can be so annoying. I did two things.

When I feel my mind start to wander, I pull my focus back by lipreading the other person as well as listening.

As soon as I realise my mind has wandered, I interrupt the other person, apologise for my mind wandering and ask them to repeat. People take that much better than I expected and it has reduced my mind wandering too.
 
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Zoe1

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thankyou so much for your support, understanding and hugs :grouphug:

ive found people quite impatient actually
when I ask them to repeat what they have said

lipreading sounds like a good idea, I have not thought of it !

:thanks:
 
Warrior

Warrior

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ive found people quite impatient actually
when I ask them to repeat what they have said
Pure ignorance Zoe and that does annoy me :mad:
 
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Zoe1

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thankyou, I suppose once again
its about expecting people to like you for who you are isn't it

hmmm, have to change social life yet again ! :mad: :panic:
 
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Trekster33

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How is your sleep? I got less than 2 hours last night and my mind has been wandering all day.

Could you be dissociating or having flashbacks to your past traumatic events? Those are distracting enough.

If anyone doesn't accept you need things repeating minimise or cut contact with those people. You don't need that kinda hassle in your life.

Have a look up grounding techniques to see if there's anything you can do to keep yourself in the moment.

I have to interrupt with questions to concentrate on conversations sometimes this has mixed responses from people.
 
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Zoe1

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thankyou, I sleep quite well, with my zopliclone actually
dissociating, flashbacks, possible

cutting contact with people who dont understand,
well thats the difficult part
some of them are family members
and I'm also worried if I have to cut off friends
that I will be traumatised all over again by the loss of them !

grounding techniques, yes !
ive heard its about naming 5 things, you can see, the, hear , then smell etc.
 
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goodgollymiss

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I can concentrate alot better after drinking more vegetable juice and not snacking as much. You can add alot of condiments to vegetable juice. For example, lemon juice, pepper, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, horseradish, pickle juice, celery seed,...
 
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goodgollymiss

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It takes awhile to get used to vegetable juice, but the benefits are amazing
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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I have the same thing i chalk it up to depression do you think its the same for you ?
 
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Zoe1

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thankyou for the suggestions
I had not thought of it as depression
but I was getting that way when it started



:grouphug:
 
T

Trekster33

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thankyou, I sleep quite well, with my zopliclone actually
dissociating, flashbacks, possible

cutting contact with people who dont understand,
well thats the difficult part
some of them are family members
and I'm also worried if I have to cut off friends
that I will be traumatised all over again by the loss of them !

grounding techniques, yes !
ive heard its about naming 5 things, you can see, the, hear , then smell etc.
I've got some relatives that trigger me off so I limit my time that I spend with them. Their poor mental health clashes with mine. One is my mother another my aunt. Neither of them keep anything I tell them confidential so if I tell them anything I have to remember to keep names and locations vague.

If your friends are causing you to become this anxious and they don't listen to reason then are they really friends? Are there more positive pointers about them than negative ones? What are the things you like about them? What things don't you like about them? We can't choose your friends for you but we can help you decide whether they are worth spending time with.

For me I turn my music up in my car and focus on it when I'm feeling anxious. I use the radio like an anchor to keep me in the moment. I have the sat nav on in the car even when going to places I know very well, as my mind can wander.

Hope this makes more sense?
 
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Zoe1

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thankyou , I'm not sure if I have really assessed my friendships like that
might be something to do while I'm stuck at home in the heat wave !

actually I'm not sure I have really tested people out
on the issue of my wandering mind
so still a lot of them might not know about it

I also have a 3 hour art class once a week
and my mind wanders during the lesson part of that
so I would not be able to ask her to repeat it would be too embarrassing !
 
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