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I have BPD and I am struggling

  • Thread starter KeepMovingForward
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K

KeepMovingForward

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I am 30 years old, have been misdiagnosed in the past, but meet all 9 criteria as per the DSM for BPD. I have really been struggling as of late with interpersonal relationships, specifically with my fiancee, and with my family, whose abuse I think may have caused the Borderline. I guess I would start out asking how you were diagnosed and what the first steps you took to help were?
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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i was disagnosed after a abusive ex cleared off (i dont want to go into that though - the what happened thing)

i got disagnosed with a few things but the two that are lifelong for me are the bpd and the learning difficulties :(
 
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Nukelavee

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I was diagnosed about 25 years ago. I didn't really take concrete steps to deal with it until 12 years ago, or so. I tried a few anti-depressants, Venlafaxine helps. I did 1 on 1 therapy, plus took CBT and DBT courses.

And it's been hard going, but I've improved a ton. Learning to recognize when you are being self-destructive, or driven by anger and fear, is a strong early step. Once you learn where you are most at risk of screwing things up, you can try to learn better ways to deal with emotional pain.
 
G

Girl interupted

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The kindest thing anyone with bpd can do is to establish some distance between yourself and your abuser(s). If you still have to interact, set up clear boundaries, that if they violate those boundaries you simply leave. You sometimes have to teach people how to treat you.

I didn’t get diagnosed until my late 40s, so you’re ahead of me. Just invest in doing the hard and sometimes painful work in therapy and it will help to mitigate some of the horrible symptoms.
 
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KeepMovingForward

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I find that the self-soothing tends to be the most self-destructive element, as I use Alcohol to cope and I do not have a great history with it. I've had pancreatitis once and was told my liver was slightly fatty, so I quit for 3.5 years until an incident with my fiancee pushed me over the edge. Now I am finding it more and more difficult not to drink. Mostly because of insecurities within my relationship and deaths of loved ones. I have finally reached out to a therapist, however, so hopefully I can work through some things.
 
G

Girl interupted

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The problem with drinking, and I do it too, is that it wreaks chaos with mood and depression in the days that follow. It further pushes the suicidal ideation too.

For the few hours of drunken oblivion you pay for it with several days of depression.

I have been testing 50-50 cbd/thc and it doesn't seem to have the same impact. But stick to indica. Sativa is unpredictable.
 
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KeepMovingForward

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The problem with drinking, and I do it too, is that it wreaks chaos with mood and depression in the days that follow. It further pushes the suicidal ideation too.

For the few hours of drunken oblivion you pay for it with several days of depression.

I have been testing 50-50 cbd/thc and it doesn't seem to have the same impact. But stick to indica. Sativa is unpredictable.
I find my problem with the drinking (besides it being not good for my physical health) is that, if I'm pushed to reveal my more negative thoughts or feelings towards people (mostly my fiancee), I get quite mean, as I am more disinhibited with emotions than I already tend to be. This leads to huge fights that I then of course regret when I wake up the next day and that leads to more self abuse and the belief that I'm worthless or no good and especially the fear that my partner is going to leave me.
 
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Girl interupted

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Yup bpd is hell. Bpd on booze is like depression on steroids and creates a cascade of self destructive and maladaptive coping mechanisms.
 
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