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I have been having so many issues with gf..i might believe she is a borderline

S

soccercarlos9

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I have been having so many issues with gf..i might believe she is a borderline

I lived with my ex gf for 2 years. The first year was great (honeymoon stage) but I did see some immature acts she did, but I didn’t mind it at all. We were so happy together,we loved each other talking about marriage but by the end of the year, things got a little rough, there was a neighbor downstairs that smoke and had constant anger.

We lived on the second floor and he was on the first floor, every time we stepped on the floor he would get so angry and pound the roof. I didn’t care what he was doing we weren’t jumping up and down or being disrespectful but my ex gf was so stressed out with everything, she felt scared and nervous and I would always try to calm her down and tell her I love her to not worry about this jackass, everything will be fine we only have a month left.

But what she didn’t know, when she left for work on days I didn’t, and I stayed home to clean, cook, feed the dogs, I guess do mom stuff because I was bored. I talked to him to stop being a dick, we were not doing anything, but he didn’t care, I just said he was an asshole I’m glad we were leaving.

But during those last months she had major tantrums, she started throwing pencils at me, yell and purposely stomp on the floor because she was pissed at our downstairs neighbor. We also had a patio outside were our puppies would poo. Well she would get mad and either throw a piece of poop down to the patio downstairs or when we washed the patio with fabuloso, she poured everything downstairs; it was raining so he didn’t notice.

I didn’t like that, she provoked a lot of stuff and I didn’t mind cleaning it just as long we were both happy including the neighbor. I remember one time I wasn’t able to clean the house because I was at school constantly or at work. I remember she was sooooo pissed the house was dirty and told her I didn’t have time (nicely) but Ill help you right now. Then one of our dogs pissed on the floor which made matters worse, she yelled telling me to get rid of this dog, I fucking hate him ( I thought she was just pissed) she told me it’s the dog(sparky) or her.

I chose the dog and continued to clean the house. She later gave me a big hug and said I love you, thank you for not getting rid of the dog. I remember I even recorded her on my phone, I tried showing her because I knew something wasn’t right and me thinking she would agree she would see a psychologist I said “babe listen to this” (big mistake) she threw my phone to the back of the car and almost broke it, saying there is nothing wrong with me.

There are many incidents but I would write a book lol. Well the time came when are lease was up and she needed a break from both of us, I loved her and I agreed so we moved back to her parents but we still hung out. But one day I gave her a hicky, her parents found out and kicked her out of the house. So after that, I went to the house and apologized telling the parents im sorry for everything, but I really loved the girl from the bottom of my heart and will take care and protect her.

O before I forget to mention the whole first year leaving together, her parents didn’t know at all she was living with me, she lied the whole time. Then we ended up moving again. This is where things got really complicated, before we signed another lease for an apartment, I remember and would never forget she told me she was mine and were getting married, then started naming our kids, were we would live, putting my last name to her and etc, made me feel GREAT, but that’s the type of guy I am, im very family oriented and work very hard, I did have a dad but he was never really her, I was mostly raised by my mom.

But as time went by I found things about her she was doing behind my back, she would text another guy from another girls phone so I wouldnt see it, when she went out with her friends she drank excessively even after we made a pact then she stops drinking and I stopped smoking which she broke our promise. I saw facebook messages to guys that were very flirty. Things like this made me very insecure and jealous, it hurt me really bad because I didn’t do any of that, one girl came up to me and wanted to have sex but I told her no.

Then she started blaming me for everything, I was the reason she got fat, were broke, my grades are going down, etc. I tried helping her as much as I could everyday so she can have it easier as much as I could because I also had school, so I wouldn’t get yelled at for no reason (happy wife =happy life). She would get mad then hours later she calms down and tells me she loves me and we watch a movie and cuddle.

Every day I put her first and when I was done with everything I would finish my things and I always did, even if we had a hectic day, and she says the most horrible things about me, I let it go because I thought she was pms, but after a while it drains you. Well even if we had a rough day, at nights she always wanted me to sleep with her, like pamper her, so I would lay next to her cuddle her and put her to sleep and give her a kiss. Then I would get up and do my hw till 3 in the morning.

I really loved this girl but she got so mad at me, I got to a point every day I was getting yelled it for no reason, I bought a big screen tv but I didn’t want to bring it to the house, I felt she would break it for vengeance, I told her no im sorry not right now. She took it as if she didn’t deserve (which she didn’t but I was hoping she would calm down and stopped being so mean) WRONG!! It made things worse, so I bought her a little tv but she felt betrayed, which I understand but the things she did just made me saddddd!..i took as it as tough love I guess.

She couldn’t take it anymore I felt like as if I was walking on eggshells anything I did or say would cause something. Then we signed to break the lease(I didn’t want to, I wanted to work for our relationship) she went home as did i. We still talked and had sex but everytime we got closer she pulled away, it was a cycle for a whole year. But I couldn’t go to her house anymore because she said her dad wants to kick my ass, and im never welcomed pretty much she was the victim and I was the worst person in the world, told them I took her virginity which was a lie( but I never beat her or anything but yes I did get mad and yelled back at her to stop yelling but nothing horrible)

She moved 7 hours away to finish her masters and we would skype talk on the phone, and she would come down once in a while or ill go up there. But this past 2 months more lies came up, I found out some guy paid her to go to Washington dc. She stayed there for 6 days, during this time she was Implying she was in san jose. I told her to stop talking to me, which I think she did because I shut off my phone. But like 7 days later I sent her one last message, I told her im sorry for any pain I have caused you, I love you and hopefully one days you will forgive me for the pain I caused. I hope you can find someone that can give you what I couldn’t. but I am going to disconnect all communitcation, I wish you the best.

The words were in better context but that’s what I said, I changed my number and blocked her in everything. That hurt me really bad, like why????? I gave you everything I had other girls told me I was the perfect bf, something is wrong with her, when she was sick I would get up early like 6 go to the store and get medicince and make her breakfast. Then I would go to class and came back to check on her once in a while. My friends say I could do everything, cook, clean, work, double major in bioinformatics and premed, the only thing I was not set was I wasn’t financially stable. I needed my career but I finish school in a year.

I was working my butt of so she didn’t have to work if she didn’t want to. But I kind of lost motivation, im still passing my courses but it suck. My dreams of my family with her have been shattered. I havent spoke to her in 4 weeks and it sucks. Yesterday her friend said she was going to Puerto Rico and im assuming with the other guy. Well this guy is successful and is stable, only thing I lacked but I was working on hes got a BA in sociology and got a job in Washington dc.

The family loves him, they hate me just because of everything my ex said about me. I made a lot of enemies from her, people accused me that I was ahorrible guy and im not, she blew everything out of proportion and made her the victim. I just don’t understand how she did this, im mad, sad, and can’t believe this happen. She told me she doesn’t want to talk to me but that she’s not seeing anybody or talking to anybody.

Then I found out she was sending provactive photos to another guy wtf??? I love her and I will remember who she was at the beginning but she’s not the same anymore, her “NEW” friends shes known for about 6 months convincing her to stop talking to me. I want to find another girl that’s worthy of me but at the same time, I question why can’t you be back to your beautiful intelligent self, the girl I met . I know when she moved down to SJ, her friends and parents are influencing her a lot, that I am a horrible person.

I am not, I loved this girl I did everything for this girl for this shit to happen wtf??? I pray hoping to relieve all my sadness and make me forget her, like she never existed. Or bring the girl of my dreams back and all the problems she caused disappeared..I miss my best friend, the girl that I was always on the phone till past midnight talking until she fell asleep on the phone with me…but o well move on right im just life FML..i totally got screwed over. I want to talk to her but I know its not okay I miss my babe, but at the same time shes a cold heartless girl…I know something is wrong mentally and im not trying to say itbecause shes abitch..but because I really care about this person
 
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calypso

calypso

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Hiya and:welcome: to the forum.

That is one hell of a marathon read. I have inserted paragraphs because one long piece of writing is almost impossible to read, your eyes glaze over.

I think that since you have left this girl, it is not really that important to diagnose her any more. We cannot diagnose on here, we are not professionals. But her behaviour could be down to a whole host of other things, not least that you saw your relationship through rose tinted glasses, but she didn't really want to settle down yet.

The important thing to do is to place all your feelings inside you. Look a little at anything you may have done wrong, if that is relevant, but move on now and let go of this relationship. It is hard, but you have no choice. I know we all grieve for what might have been, but maybe you will still have time for all that.

One thing which did strike me reading this is that you have little insight into any faults in your behaviour. There must have been some, so that might start to give you insight into why she got upset with you??? Just a thought honey xxx
 
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