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I have a great life, still feel like shit most days

  • Thread starter blackrunningshoes
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B

blackrunningshoes

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Joined
Sep 8, 2021
Messages
8
Location
Australia
Hi

I honestly don’t know what to do to be happy. I feel so guilty as I have a good life but I’m unhappy as. I have a boyfriend and two dogs and live in a good, safe country. Money is not an issue either.

I can’t say this is new as I’ve been in I guess depression phases most of my life even though again I had a good childhood. I had a shit father but I have everything: school, trips, a family, pets. Everything. But still always sad.

I’ve always been bad with social things. I am shy and always struggled with making friends. I was also bullied a lot when I was young because I was overweight and a good student. It kind of got better when I was in high school, I was les shy and had more friends although I was the ugly duck. I think the only time I was happy was my last year of high school and my first years of uni. I was seeing a therapist too because I still had my sad moments but now that I see it from here I had it great then and should have appreciated it more.

Then I moved overseas for my last years of uni and well I don’t think I have recovered. The move was such a blow but I stayed because is safer here than back home. My social life has been close to zero, I had a close friend but ended up on a fight because of my temper. I’ve had a few friends but lots of them have moved overseas (where I live now not many people stay) or they have stopped talking to me. I’ve lost most of my friends from back home. I tried texting them for years for if I get a couple of replies is a big win. And year by year I lose more friends, a lot of people don’t even reply to me or even erase me from Facebook out on nowhere.

I also feel like a failure because I did nothing with my dregree. Ended up working in retail and I don’t even work at the moment because of COVID. I’m studying another degree at the moment but it has made my body image issues larger I hate my body as I’m not super thin (just under the overweight BMI) and no matter how much I try to exercise and diet I remain The same. I also hurt my knee last year so I can’t exercise anymore

I know my issues are stupid compared to other people but I honestly can’t change. I’m seeing the same therapist I was seeing when I was younger but I feel I’m just wasting my time.
Anyone else with a perfect life and still feeling like crap?
 
MeAndMyDepression

MeAndMyDepression

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Feb 6, 2021
Messages
1,401
Location
Punta Gorda, Florida, USA
Hi @blackrunningshoes
I'm so sorry for your situation. Don't minimize your problems by comparing them to other people's problems. The fact that you have a problem is all that matters. Have you considered seeing a GP or Pdoc for meds? That might make a big difference in your life.
 
B

blackrunningshoes

Member
Joined
Sep 8, 2021
Messages
8
Location
Australia
Hi @blackrunningshoes
I'm so sorry for your situation. Don't minimize your problems by comparing them to other people's problems. The fact that you have a problem is all that matters. Have you considered seeing a GP or Pdoc for meds? That might make a big difference in your life.
Yeah probably I should. :/
 
Pedr

Pedr

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Aug 26, 2021
Messages
46
Location
NYC
Anyone else with a perfect life and still feeling like crap?
Yes. I've lost almost all my friends too. I don't go out. I can't do physical activities e.g. soccer, that I used to love, any more. Every day I feel loathsome and worthless most of the day.

That's what depression and in my case chronic pain do to you -_-
 
Bod

Bod

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Please try not to think who is worse than whoever as we all feel very bad about our selfs and know one is as bad as the next person, as at the end of the day we ALL suffer mental health issues and that is bad enough on it's own. I can relate to the bulling as when we moved from Australia to the UK I always thought I was the odd one out because I was bullied because of my strong Australian accent.
 
Pedr

Pedr

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Messages
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Please try not to think who is worse than whoever as we all feel very bad about our selfs and know one is as bad as the next person, as at the end of the day we ALL suffer mental health issues and that is bad enough on it's own
sorry but who is that directed towards? If it is me, then that absolutely wasn't my intent and I apologise. I was trying to empathise with the OP. P1ssing contests over who's suffering the most are infantile and unhelpful IMO.
Pete
 
Bod

Bod

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sorry but who is that directed towards? If it is me, then that absolutely wasn't my intent and I apologise. I was trying to empathise with the OP. P1ssing contests over who's suffering the most are infantile and unhelpful IMO.
Pete

It was not directed at anyone at all on here.
 
B

blackrunningshoes

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Joined
Sep 8, 2021
Messages
8
Location
Australia
Thanks
Please try not to think who is worse than whoever as we all feel very bad about our selfs and know one is as bad as the next person, as at the end of the day we ALL suffer mental health issues and that is bad enough on it's own. I can relate to the bulling as when we moved from Australia to the UK I always thought I was the odd one out because I was bullied because of my strong Australian accent.
Thanks Bod, is just hard not to compare, I feel I should be happy as I have all my basic needs and more covered, but I can’t. :( I hope you’re doing ok :)
 
B

blackrunningshoes

Member
Joined
Sep 8, 2021
Messages
8
Location
Australia
Yes. I've lost almost all my friends too. I don't go out. I can't do physical activities e.g. soccer, that I used to love, any more. Every day I feel loathsome and worthless most of the day.

That's what depression and in my case chronic pain do to you -_-
Is so hard when you can’t do things you loved. :(
 
NoNameRequired

NoNameRequired

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Jul 18, 2021
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Mordor
Do not feel guilty because there are people that have it worst than you, you have done nothing wrong. That would be like if I felt bad because some people don't have arms but I have.
 
U

Usedup

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Joined
Apr 23, 2021
Messages
93
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US
I relate. From the outside looking in, it would appear that I have a pretty good life. I guess I do but I'm not happy. I don't know what would make me happy. I try to choose happiness daily or that "this will be a good day" but something always intrudes. I try to take it in strde but for the last several months I feel angry, sad, hurt and betrayed. Lots of old, old hurts I can't seem to let go of.
I was happiest when I was just out of grad school "out in front" of my "career." I had nothing and was starting to figure it all out. I was drinking a lot but it didn't affect my work. I remember being happy in the struggle and now 25 years later, I'm sober and in the same job field but it hasn't been a "career." I am not that smart and I should be grateful that I haven't had to work hard like construction, etc. and I try to remind myself of that to keep my mood up.
 
S

SadRainbow

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Joined
Aug 5, 2021
Messages
1,096
Location
Norfolk
Same here. I'm really quite blessed if you ignore my poor mental health. I often get really quite frustrated with myself. I try to remind myself that I am ill and it's not my fault, but even when I accept that I just feel pissed off with my bad luck instead.
 
H

HappyHealthy

Member
Joined
Sep 9, 2021
Messages
12
Location
Socal
Hi

I honestly don’t know what to do to be happy. I feel so guilty as I have a good life but I’m unhappy as. I have a boyfriend and two dogs and live in a good, safe country. Money is not an issue either.

I can’t say this is new as I’ve been in I guess depression phases most of my life even though again I had a good childhood. I had a shit father but I have everything: school, trips, a family, pets. Everything. But still always sad.

I’ve always been bad with social things. I am shy and always struggled with making friends. I was also bullied a lot when I was young because I was overweight and a good student. It kind of got better when I was in high school, I was les shy and had more friends although I was the ugly duck. I think the only time I was happy was my last year of high school and my first years of uni. I was seeing a therapist too because I still had my sad moments but now that I see it from here I had it great then and should have appreciated it more.

Then I moved overseas for my last years of uni and well I don’t think I have recovered. The move was such a blow but I stayed because is safer here than back home. My social life has been close to zero, I had a close friend but ended up on a fight because of my temper. I’ve had a few friends but lots of them have moved overseas (where I live now not many people stay) or they have stopped talking to me. I’ve lost most of my friends from back home. I tried texting them for years for if I get a couple of replies is a big win. And year by year I lose more friends, a lot of people don’t even reply to me or even erase me from Facebook out on nowhere.

I also feel like a failure because I did nothing with my dregree. Ended up working in retail and I don’t even work at the moment because of COVID. I’m studying another degree at the moment but it has made my body image issues larger I hate my body as I’m not super thin (just under the overweight BMI) and no matter how much I try to exercise and diet I remain The same. I also hurt my knee last year so I can’t exercise anymore

I know my issues are stupid compared to other people but I honestly can’t change. I’m seeing the same therapist I was seeing when I was younger but I feel I’m just wasting my time.
Anyone else with a perfect life and still feeling like crap?
If I was you, I’d Find a licensed counselor who is a life coach and uses EMDR. It completely rewires my brain so that I could get out of my own way and weather stressful situations and thrive.
You are loved and you an learn to feel like you deserve it.
 
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