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I have 3 kids yet I am lonely

X

xdlxnx

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Sep 27, 2015
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I do not know where else I can pour out my feelings on. Facebook is just full of people who dont care at all. I am just frustrated with myself. I often not able to make friends ever since forever. I dont know why, but I am always not able to blend in. I have this tendency of being possessive when I am close to someone and she will get irritated and just leave. I feel so lonely, I have no friends at all. Everytime I try to be a good friend, always offering help when they needed them, they just took advantage of me and dumped me when they are doing good with life. I feel used.

I am also trying to deal with a heart break with my mum. She is marrying to someone else's husband and I am having difficulties to digest that. My parents have been divorced since I was 11 (I am 23 now) She has been in a rship after the divorce so that makes a 12 years rship. I am so disappointed in her. I had been growing up learning how much she hated women who stole other women's husbands. And now she is doing the same. What is wrong with her head? Is she getting her head all muddled up that she cannot think properly? She told me he was a divorced man for all these years and she only came out with the truth 2 weeks ago!! I feel devastated, to have that coming from someone I look up at as an example. My childhood wasnt pretty fun at all. Growing up watching my parents fought over my father's drunkenness and affairs. Then dad left us after the divorce. I know its common for couples to divorce but it made a huge impact on me. I have been missing dad eversince and he never understands. Growing up as a teenager, I was always kicked out and not allowed home most of the time. Mum put me in a "Girls Home" to get rid of me (influenced by the boyfriend) I never can get along with him. Pretty much my teenagehood was wasted in the homes.

I feel so lonely and unwanted. How do I make people like me and how do I make friends? I am married now, but Hubs always busy with his games. I dont know some days I just feel like I wanna disappear from this surface of Earth. I dont mean committing suicide but I just want myself to be gone from this place I am at now.
 
calypso

calypso

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hello and :welcome: to the forum. If your mother has found happiness, I think that is about her and her life. People change and move on and don't stick to formulas. She obviously felt that she needed more in her life.

I can hear how lonely you feel though. I know how it feels when you listen to others and don't get that back. I learned that I put a certain facade forward so people didn't know that I needed help, do you do that? I don't know how young your children are, but is there anything you can go to with other mums who could listen to you? I would suggest you ignore what is happening to your mum and look after yourself for now.

I hope others can come along with better answers than me, I'm over tired so not making a lot of sense I suspect. xxx
 
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