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I hate unexpected change.

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AmIJustWeird

New member
Joined
Dec 29, 2019
Messages
2
Location
UK
I find unexpected changes upsetting. It's not been my best Christmas: brother-in-law and his family arrived late for Christmas dinner then insisted on opening gifts which made dinner a whole hour late; boxing day my wife and I agreed to return home after lunch out, then she changed the plans without talking to me; then at the theatre later the same brother-in-law waited until I was fetching drinks in the interval and rearranged the seating (mobile chairs on flat floor) without asking me, putting me by myself directly in front of his 2&4 year old kids. I'm 6'7" and quite self-conscious about it. My partner and I have had words, and I'm starting to think that I may have a problem I should seek help with.
 
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EstherRose94

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2019
Messages
2,433
Location
USA
I feel like part of it is you just want to be considered before someone makes a decision that will effect you. I don’t think that’s so strange. Maybe you just need help communicating that in an effective way
 
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Worriedyin

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 2, 2019
Messages
682
Location
UK
I find unexpected changes upsetting. It's not been my best Christmas: brother-in-law and his family arrived late for Christmas dinner then insisted on opening gifts which made dinner a whole hour late; boxing day my wife and I agreed to return home after lunch out, then she changed the plans without talking to me; then at the theatre later the same brother-in-law waited until I was fetching drinks in the interval and rearranged the seating (mobile chairs on flat floor) without asking me, putting me by myself directly in front of his 2&4 year old kids. I'm 6'7" and quite self-conscious about it. My partner and I have had words, and I'm starting to think that I may have a problem I should seek help with.
Do you really think you have a problem?

I would be pretty upset about the seating thing to be honest, it seems quite rude.

The presents thing is a bit rude too but the kids are young so I can understand if they couldn't wait.

It is stressful when things don't go as planned - I've cried a few times when I've had plans cancelled on me which is a bit pathetic but there you go.

Do you experience other anxiety? What kind of upset do you get, angry or sad or what kind of thing?

What did your partner say to you?
 
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AmIJustWeird

New member
Joined
Dec 29, 2019
Messages
2
Location
UK
Do you really think you have a problem?

I would be pretty upset about the seating thing to be honest, it seems quite rude.

The presents thing is a bit rude too but the kids are young so I can understand if they couldn't wait.

It is stressful when things don't go as planned - I've cried a few times when I've had plans cancelled on me which is a bit pathetic but there you go.

Do you experience other anxiety? What kind of upset do you get, angry or sad or what kind of thing?

What did your partner say to you?
Obviously I have a problem if my partner is unhappy lol. She seems to be worried that I won't want to socialise if I can't adjust to things like this, and that we'll stop doing things together.
I do suffer regularly with anxiety, usually at night, and usually about pointless work-related crap that doesn't really matter, although I have recently changed career so this may really be change related.
 
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Worriedyin

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 2, 2019
Messages
682
Location
UK
Obviously I have a problem if my partner is unhappy lol. She seems to be worried that I won't want to socialise if I can't adjust to things like this, and that we'll stop doing things together.
I do suffer regularly with anxiety, usually at night, and usually about pointless work-related crap that doesn't really matter, although I have recently changed career so this may really be change related.
It would definitely be an idea to see if your GP can refer you for therapy to manage the anxiety I guess.

It's good that you're taking it seriously because keeping your partner happy is important.

But - be nice to yourself!
 
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