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I hate sound of my voice/don't know what my real voice is



New member
Jan 6, 2020

I work in an office which is generally fine as the job is quite independent. I've always been anxious when speaking in a group of more than three people say. I just get really self-conscious. I'm usually fine when talking to someone one-to-one. But now I'm struggling to do that in the office because of other people sitting nearby who could be hearing what I'm saying. I hear other people chatting loudly away and I wish I could be confident like them.

I also hate the sound of my voice. I'm English, but have lived all over the country, so I don't really have an accent. Some people haven't been able to tell I'm English, which I hate. I've noticed (as well as other people), that my voice changes a lot in pitch and tone, depending on who I'm speaking to, but also just at any time. My voice broke at a normal teenage age, but I always think it sounds too high. This is what first led to me thinking obsessively about my voice and trying to speak deeper. I don't think I know what my actual speaking voice is, or should sound like. I've been consumed by this for a long time and I'm just so self-conscious of it. I know it's partly down to anxiety. I rarely just speak without thinking, I just think too much about how my voice will sound. It's really getting to me.

On the lighter side, maybe I'm out of 'practice'. I'm generally a quiet and shy person, and I usually find talking tiring.My diet isn't great and I don't sleep well, so I know that's something that needs addressing.

I often walk past people in the office, or say in a corridor, and especially if it's a chance encounter, I will try to say 'hi' but virtually nothing comes out of my mouth, it's just like a croak or something. And my voice does go higher with people I might be slightly intimidated by or a manager etc. I can't control it.

I've only been consumed by this the last few years, I didn't have any issues before. When I'm with close friends and family, people I'm comfortable with, I tend to have the same voice and tone.

Any advice greatly appreciated, thanks.


Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
May 6, 2017
I'm not really a believer in spirituality and meditation but I did study it in depth a few years ago.

There's supposedly a Chakra that governs your throat and you can apparently meditate to help overcome shyness and a fear of speaking in public.

As I said I believe Chakras are all in the mind but from a psychological standpoint this might help.

All you've got to lose is 30 minutes of your time listening to this lovely voice.


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