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    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

I hate reality.

C

Carol_C

Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2010
Messages
5
I have no idea how to put this down...
I'll just give the facts because i've tried to write this out multiple times but i can never get it right.
I'm a 17yr girl.
I spend all my time on the internet watching TV because, to be honest, i stop thinking about what's going on. I completly immerse my self in what i'm watching and when i'm not watching anything i listen to music and work myself into the plot. I do all this because i hate me, everything about me, my looks , my thoughts, my personality. My friends at school see me as the stupid friend who annoys them and shows no emotion, i know this is how they think of me because they all tell me in "confedence". I'm not stupid as such but when it comes to something i'm not intrested in, no matter how hard i try ,i cant study it, so i just gave up because it was breaking me and my friends just call me lazy. As a result of all this the future terrifies me. Suicide is something i would never do, but i find myself hoping an accident would happen and kill me, i really can't see my self living past the age of 23 at all.I don't mind being on my own at home or in a room, actually i'm more comfortable that way, and i don't mind being in public with another person but i cant stand being on streets on my own , i feel like im shattering or something. All of this is why i spend all my time watching TV, because i can be beautiful, smart and talented in fictional worlds.
This is not something i would ever tell my family, feelings and the likes are not something we discuss. So i just thought i would write it here, to get it off my chest.
Sorry if it's a bit erratic, i just wrote it as i was thinking or else it would never get done.
Thanks, any opinions would be great!
 
iffybob

iffybob

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
4,858
Location
England
Me again .....

Hello, no it does not sound erratic, it sounds clear.

I think you need to go to your GP, and ask to see a counciler.

You are 17, nobody but you needs to know, not even your parents.

I dont think there is anything seriously wrong with you but you do seem to lack confidence.

So you are not intersted in what others find important, thats ok, find somthing 'you' are interested in, and follow that.

But do see a counciler, and dont let others say you are stupid, or what you think or say is, it is just you.

Take care and try not to worry ....... ok

....... boB ........ (y)
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
Hi carol c I hope that you can find this forum helpful have you thought about starting a journal if yoou are unable to talk about your feelings and emotions then it would be a good way of getting a release it could help once you have written it down it kinda helps your mind
 
T

telemetry9

Guest
Carol,

You sound like a sensitive and perceptive person. I imagine you catch onto things very quickly and can tell whether you'll be interested or not. You also sound more mature than a 17 year old.

Feeling different from the people around you can be a big challenge but I'm sure you know that most people are actually OK. It sounds like you are looking for something different from what is going on around you.

As James has said; writing a journal will help. It will give you a pattern of thoughts that you can begin to make sense of.

Please don't judge yourself in comparison to others or make judgments about yourself. EVeryone is valuable and equally important in this world and you deserve your place here as much as the next person.

You are trying to understand and make sense of life and your place here and that says a lot about you. It shows that you care about the world and your place in it. Don't be afraid of your future but look after yourself and make sure you talk to others about how you feel. Don't bottle it up.

I think you sound like someone who would make a great friend. Friends who follow the crowd don't stick around anyway - it's the people who will see you for who you are that are worth holding onto and you have plenty of time to meet them.

God bless you
Robert.
 
C

Carol_C

Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2010
Messages
5
Thank you all for your help! I really appreciate it. Everything seems a tad clearer now ^_^
Any way, i think i'll try the journal idea soon and get things sorted.
Thank you again!
 

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