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I hate physical fights, but my fury is driving me to it.

frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
915
Location
South Korea
My words are not true; this didn't happen to me. It's scenario based on what I fear.

I hate people who is verbally abusing me. Sometimes, I want to cuss back. If I do, they get calm and sarcastic. No matter what I do, they just win the battle. Even if I get polite, they just brush me off as weak and worthless. And there are awful cases when they start getting physical. Every time I retaliate, people around me are quick to put their hands on me. And if I fight back, I lose due to their superior fighting skills. If I want to win, I have to learn martial arts. Wasting time doing workouts that are more brutal than bodybuilding. There are things I want to do, such as hobbies and taking a walk. Can't do those 'cause I have to compete against my haters. And if I do win, I end up in sorrow and regret. Of hurting others. But I have to push on, or else they will fuck with me. They will abuse me to dehumanizing levels. They will demand me to difficult things and verbally murder me for every mistake I make. All for their sadistic pleasure. I can run away, but the scars remain. The scars haunt me. They haunt me to the point where, I lash at innocent people, and drives me to more pain.

This is what my life feels like. I have to master the difficult task to survive. Meet up to demands to barely get by. Otherwise, perish. Perish and hurt others. No matter how I handle rude people and myself (especially my temper) peacefully/violently, the result is the same.

But sometimes, I want to do what I want to do. Not to waste my precious time half-assing some survivalistic bullshit. But these punks get in the way.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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Forum Safety Team
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May 6, 2017
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4,162
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Sheffiield
This is what my life feels like. I have to master the difficult task to survive. Meet up to demands to barely get by. Otherwise, perish. Perish and hurt others. No matter how I handle rude people and myself (especially my temper) peacefully/violently, the result is the same.

But sometimes, I want to do what I want to do. Not to waste my precious time half-assing some survivalistic bullshit. But these punks get in the way.
If you can master the difficult task all other tasks will seem easy in comparison.

I would always counsel peace above all things but if you have to go to war then I find Sun Tzu's 'The Art of War' a valuable teacher and is still relevant in todays society even if you aren't going to do any actual fighting.

You already sound quite the philosopher.

Can you give any examples of what demands are being placed on you, how people are rude to you and how you currently handle it all?
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
915
Location
South Korea
If you can master the difficult task all other tasks will seem easy in comparison.

I would always counsel peace above all things but if you have to go to war then I find Sun Tzu's 'The Art of War' a valuable teacher and is still relevant in todays society even if you aren't going to do any actual fighting.

You already sound quite the philosopher.

Can you give any examples of what demands are being placed on you, how people are rude to you and how you currently handle it all?

These are the difficulties I face in life (Sorry for the extraneous details):
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
915
Location
South Korea
I had some horrible people who did rude things in my life, but cannot tell you due to private reasons...
 
ReverieAnxiety

ReverieAnxiety

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 3, 2019
Messages
768
Location
California, USA
Hi frisas!

Sorry for the late response. I went to visit my family in Philly for about a month.

For me, it gets tiring trying to fight everyone and everything. Who do you have to really prove yourself to? Who said that other's people opinions of you matter? In the end, I will do what makes me happy. I will have as much control of my life and my happiness as much as possible and ain't no way in hell will I give others the permission to decide my life for me especially if they don't add any value to my life.

I hope you're doing fine!!! What's going on with you nowadays? I'll be starting school soon and I'm back to the dreadful act of job hunting!
 
frisas45

frisas45

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2019
Messages
915
Location
South Korea
Hi frisas!

Sorry for the late response. I went to visit my family in Philly for about a month.

For me, it gets tiring trying to fight everyone and everything. Who do you have to really prove yourself to? Who said that other's people opinions of you matter? In the end, I will do what makes me happy. I will have as much control of my life and my happiness as much as possible and ain't no way in hell will I give others the permission to decide my life for me especially if they don't add any value to my life.

I hope you're doing fine!!! What's going on with you nowadays? I'll be starting school soon and I'm back to the dreadful act of job hunting!
Bout to go back to school soon.
 
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