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I hate people

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sonogirl87

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Apr 3, 2020
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7
Location
Virginia
my husband and I bought a new camper and have it stored near when a lot of my family lives. I had the idea of inviting three of my cousins to a cook out at our camp (I did this a month ago). I haven't seen any of my cousins in about 2 years because our families have kind of grown a part but we used to be close. Now we're at the weekend before said cookout and my cousin messaged me to make sure we were still on....to be honest I was hoping they all forgot. Now to make things worse two of my cousins are bringing their kids (7 of them!) And kids kind of make me crazy, also they had asked if they could come earlier in the day to let the kids use the camp pools. Although it will be nice to see everyone I'm super stressed! Hosting anything makes me nuts although I always volunteer for it. I just get so overwhelmed, scared I won't make the kind of connections that I intend on and i just don't want to do it. Im even imagining the dreadful exhausting feeling I feel the day after. People exhaust me! Now I'm praying for rain, bordering on canceling and coming up with a lie....should I push through or make myself comfortable and not do this? To be honest if it was a cookout at someone else's house (where I can leave when I want) it really wouldn't be an issue. I just want to be normal and have those conversations, those memories but it's just been so long since we've all hung out. I don't want to do it!!!! Help!!!!! And thanks for reading
 
calypso

calypso

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Hiya. How stressful for you, my sympathies. I can understand that leaving the children at home might be really difficult for them but on the other hand it has sent you spiralling. You always volunteer you say, I know that one, so do I and then wish I had kept my mouth shut. My friends tell me its because I am actually an extrovert whose first instinct is to say "yes" and then regret it.

I don't know the answer. Can you be honest with your cousins and say that you can't manage the hosting could they all deal with everything as you aren't well? Or something like that. I hope you find a way through this.
 
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sonogirl87

Member
Joined
Apr 3, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Virginia
Thanks for the response. I am very much like you in that I do volunteer for throwing the baby shower, or the birthday party then I regret it very very much. I get overwhelmed, I get all type A then my social anxiety kicks in.

I thought more about the whole situation and some of my problem with it was that I was worried what 7 kids would do at a campsite that's not exactly huge or secluded. And I felt that this would be a better event for one of the cousin's homes (which my one cousin loves to grill and host). So I thought instead of me losing my mind I would make up a white lie (guest restrictions due to covid) and suggested a rain check. I hate lying but I feel much better now and no one had really lost out, my husband and I had said we would do the food and it's early in the week if they want to make other plans. So that's my justifcation. Thanks again!
 
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Elisante

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May 16, 2020
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417
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Greece
It was your idea to invite these people. And if some of them had children of course they would bring them too unless you made it clear that it was supposed to be an adult only gathering. To be honest I don't understand why you're complaining. Why do you volunteer to do things you don't want to?
 
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sonogirl87

Member
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Apr 3, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Virginia
I guess I was complaining to willing anonymous listeners because I thought this was a place of support and a place to vent? My mistake. Also, my one cousins is dating a girl with four kids. Was kind of hoping they wouldn't be coming but apparently that should have been spelled out.
Also I volunteer to do things because at the time I feel brave and strong but as goes with depression and social anxiety I have a lot of ups and downs. I guess you wouldn't understand. Have a great day and thanks for the helpful input
 
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Elisante

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I guess I was complaining to willing anonymous listeners because I thought this was a place of support and a place to vent? My mistake. Also, my one cousins is dating a girl with four kids. Was kind of hoping they wouldn't be coming but apparently that should have been spelled out.
Also I volunteer to do things because at the time I feel brave and strong but as goes with depression and social anxiety I have a lot of ups and downs. I guess you wouldn't understand. Have a great day and thanks for the helpful input
Hey, I'm sorry if I came off as rude, I didn't mean to.
 
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sonogirl87

Member
Joined
Apr 3, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Virginia
I guess I read it as kind of harsh/honest. No worries. I ask myself the same questions you posed
 
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