I hate myself for this

B

Bb2019

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Joined
Jun 1, 2019
Messages
9
Location
Ireland
#1
The other day I was at my boyfriends place and his friend who I've never met called round , I panicked so much I hid in the bedroom until he left , I just couldn't talk myself in to going out to speak with him . My whole body just froze up and all I wanted to do was cry .Now I feel so embarrassed that both my boyfriend and his friend will think I'm rude or weird . I keep replaying the situation over and over again . I thought I was making improvements with my anxiety but now I feel I'm back to square one . I'm so angry at myself for not being able to do something that a lot of people find so simple . I hate living like this ,it's like I'm trapped in my own head , I don't know how much longer I can live like this .
 
G

Girl interupted

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Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
1,232
#2
Next time try going out to meet anyone new. Him coming into your house, your safe space, probably felt too invasive.

Meet new people in neutral territory, where you can leave if it feels too overwhelming.
 
M

Mary26

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Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
163
Location
USA
#3
You know what comes to mind? Someone who is claustrophobic would not be able to just lock themselves in a closet. Someone who had a fear of water would not be able to just jump in.They would have to take smaller steps. Here was a situation where you had no warning and no time to prepare. Does your boyfriend know about your anxiety? If so, why would he put you in that position? If not, can you talk to him about it?
 
B

Bb2019

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Joined
Jun 1, 2019
Messages
9
Location
Ireland
#4
My boyfriend does know about my anxiety to an extent but he didn't really have control over the situation as his friend just arrived to collect something without warning . Afterwards I explained to my boyfriend that I couldn't bring myself to come out and he said it was fine I can hide in the bedroom when his friends come round if it makes me feel better ....but i can't do that all the time . I made a big effort to meet his mother and one of his other friends but we were only driving them somewhere so I knew I wouldn't have to talk for long . So far in our relationship we have only spent time together alone because I'm too anxious to hang out with his friends ...I'm worried this will start to bother him or that friends will call around again when I'm there . His friends only hang out at his place so that's my only chance to really meet them , how could I manage to do it without freaking out because of my anxiety ?
 
toutatis

toutatis

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Jun 24, 2018
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61
Location
new zealand
#5
Maybe talk with your doctor Bb2019, see if they can prescribe you something or point you in the right direction etc. I've tried pushing myself through my own social anxiety for years but all I've learned to do is accept it. Meds have helped to a degree as well. I don't know, I just face each day as it comes with a spiritual sort of outlook.

Just know with total certainty that in spite of all the nonsense floating around out there - you're not less-than or inferior. You just have social anxiety is all.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

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Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
6,888
Location
Tigger and Willow's house
#6
The other day I was at my boyfriends place and his friend who I've never met called round , I panicked so much I hid in the bedroom until he left , I just couldn't talk myself in to going out to speak with him . My whole body just froze up and all I wanted to do was cry .Now I feel so embarrassed that both my boyfriend and his friend will think I'm rude or weird . I keep replaying the situation over and over again . I thought I was making improvements with my anxiety but now I feel I'm back to square one . I'm so angry at myself for not being able to do something that a lot of people find so simple . I hate living like this ,it's like I'm trapped in my own head , I don't know how much longer I can live like this .
you can't help having anxiety :hug:
 
C

Confusedandanxious

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Joined
May 5, 2019
Messages
310
Location
Uk
#7
I've been in that exact situation only I hid in the bathroom, and pretended i was in the bath. It's awful.
What you could do is maybe have your boyfriend work with you. He could pick a friend of his who is understanding to arrange for him to come over for a flying visit while you are there. Maybe just pop in on his way past or what have you?
Once you get used to them, the issue will hopefully lessen for you, even if just for one person.

I'm no good at people just turning up, but if its arranged I can handle it a bit better.

Dont be hard on yourself. It's not your fault you have anxiety. You can work on it and hopefully in time it will be a lot easier to manage.
 

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