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i hate my life right now i am in pain i don't know how to get out of this feeling

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redpillar

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
137
Location
Toronto
i feel confused. my feelings don't remain the same all the time, i have normal time then low time then normal time then low time really fast.

right now i feel too low. nothing lasts forever. these feelings will also not last. but i feel sad knowing the condition of my emotional state. i went to the hospital because of depression but came back and didn't go inside because i started feeling a little better just knowing i'd regret being in the hospital/going to the hospital 2 days after being in there. so it's pointless to go in the first place.

the way my emotional state works is this = one moment i am depressed and hopeless or suicidal/self-harming, the next moment i can laugh easily if someone says something funny or if someone just talks to me, but deep down i remain depressed but sometimes i forget why i am depressed in the first place and feel better reasons wise but still feelings wise i remain depressed. i don't know how to explain this to my psychiatrist but i don't feel emotionally stable and i don't want more meds. i just know that my current meds are not working the way they should and i need to get them changed which psychiatrist said she'll do on the next appointment which is in a month, so for a month i am going to have to live with this emotional instability/depression. my family sees me and thinks i am fine because i laugh easily and don't cry. i don't know where to go for help but this is very uncomfortable. i don't understand why i can't just be depressed all the time if i am depressed, why my mood fluctuates so much. there was a time when i would be depressed if i was depressed for a long time but then my mood started fluctuating really quickly as my condition got worse.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
5,083
Location
England
I think you have done a very good job of explaining how you feel here. Maybe you could print this off and show it to your psychiatrist? As you have to wait a whole month for you appointment could you request an emergency appointment? It sounds like you are feeling very low with all that is going on.
 
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Midori1710

New member
Joined
Aug 9, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Romania
I have a similiar problem... my depression didn't respond to meds..., would you like to chat? i would like to give you my suport until you get your right treatment. :)
 
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redpillar

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
137
Location
Toronto
I have a similiar problem... my depression didn't respond to meds..., would you like to chat? i would like to give you my suport until you get your right treatment. :)
hi. sure. thanks
 
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Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
620
Location
UK
i feel confused. my feelings don't remain the same all the time, i have normal time then low time then normal time then low time really fast.
Do what you can to have a more lovely and enjoyable life. You are chosen to live for a reason. Take nothing for granted, bad moments will always come, just remain focused on your goals.
 
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