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I Hate My Family

S

Smileyface362

New member
Joined
Aug 29, 2019
Messages
4
Location
Georgia
I really need to vent. Lately life hasn’t been going good, well for years my life hasn’t been going good. I’m going to start off by telling you what I’ve been dealing with starting with my mother side of family and please forgive me, I’m typing fast and will not have any punctuation marks.

My parents got a divorce when i was 13 and since then it’s been hell, you see I come from a beneficial family where, if they ask you for something and you tell them no, they will ask somebody else in the family and they will talk bad about you for the remaining time of your life and sometimes after you die too.

I’ve been getting mistreated by my mother and grandmother since I was 13. To be honest I don’t even know why. Through the divorce, the judge thought it would be a good idea if I went to therapy and it wasn’t. My mother would tell me to leave the room and tell the therapist lies about me and they believed every word she said which resulted in me taking these pills that I hated such as Abilify, Risperdal, Vyvanse and Lexapro. Don't know what pill it was but one of those led me to the hospital crying in pain and, you know what my mother did, she looked in my face & laughed at me.

I mean my mother has abused me. At one point there was this one incident where she was in her front yard and she got shot at and she told me that she think I did it and around the time I was no where near that fucking area, I was getting a barbershop. That fucking lie right there could have landed me in jail. My selfish mother would also go around telling people lies and saying such things as “Cj is stupid he don’t think” or “Cj get out of school”. She made up so many lies but, all praise be to God, that I proved her wrong and I graduated but the sad part is my grandma would see a lot of things my mother said and did towards me and she wouldn’t say shit and sometimes she would take her side. I remember times where my mother would put pills in my food or she would break the pills down in my water and stir it up so I wouldn’t see it. You know at one point of time there was a chance I wouldn’t graduate due to me having to miss school for therapy. My momma ain’t help me make up any classes, she sat there and said she didn’t have the money and laughed but the craziest thing is, when I graduated who was the main one saying they helped me, it was my fucking mother.

She even tried to hit me in the head with a iron and she tried to beat me with a stick on two occasions. I never really had that many clothes in life so the clothes I had weren’t that much at all. When I would leave to go with my father, she would sell my clothes or give my clothes to the thrift store leaving me with nothing. In the midst of a lot of arguments we had she would call her brother, which is my uncle who was a substance abuser and a person who beat on women. I have heard stories he beat on my mother and beat on his daughter but he call him to try to fight me and you have to keep in mind I was nothing but 13, 130 pounds and 5 Foot 7 so he weighed more than me and was bigger then me which means he was stronger then me.

It was situations and things like this that made me grow up to despise my family and resent them and hate them. I never really had nobody to take yo for me so it was always my word against theirs. They would do and say all these despicable, disgusting things and, when I retaliated, they would call the police and say I came out the blue acting the crazy. The police were gullible so they believed every word out of it, sometimes saying they would take me to jail.

Not trying to be confusing or anything but I’m speaking of stories that happened from the age of 13 to now and I am currently 21 right now, but back to what I was saying. My grandma is a very outspoken person to be 79 so recently she would get on the phone with her friends and spread lies saying “ Cj lazy and he don’t want to work” or saying “Cj pathetic and he don’t do shit” and I never said shit negative to her and I never said anything for her to say those things about me. I heard her say these things because I would go downstairs but never to far so, when she think I was gone somewhere else, she would talk loud, sometimes yelling. In fact my girlfriend was on the phone every time something happen. I would tell her and ask her for advice but she would be speechless. Maine Reason is because she never seen a person go through so much like what I go through. I also told my mother like dumbass thinking she would something about but I knew she wouldn’t, but by me telling her what was going on that led to a argument between me and her which ended up in the police being called, me being escorted
out.

I been kicked out I would say at least 7 times or maybe more. I would do everything I could to help my grandma but I feel like she always took my help for granted. I watered her flowers and I always cut the grass. I washed her car, I even washed the garage. I trimmed her bushes and all but that was never good enough. With everything I did she would always find a complaint or something to be ungrateful about. She belittled and ridiculed me about everything. It was a situation where I had a job at Church’s Chicken and I had been working there for a week. I was The New server. I kept making mistakes and kept fucking up but that was understandable for that being my first job and me not working at a fast food place ever in my life. Multiple customers and associates understood but some didn’t and they would let me have a piece of their mind and me, being very self conscious, it got under my skin so I wanted to quit, not just because of that but also it was another worker there with me who talked to me and treated me like shit so I wanted to quit and I told my mother and grandmother that. To my surprise, my mom really didn’t have anything bad to say but my grandma cursed me out which led to me getting angry and me saying something back. She called my mom and said that I was being disrespectful when I was literally taking up for myself. My mom called me and told me “get your shit & get the fuck out” which led to me and her sharing a few words so once again I was kicked out.

I mean my experience with family has been terrible, not just my mother but also my father and this started out when he met a new woman and got married to her. At the beginning I could feel her energy and her vibe and I didn’t like it but I tried to give her a chance and she always rubbed me the wrong way but I never said anything. But when they got married, and those times I got kicked out, I would come live with them and that’s when my family experiences got worse she would always try to turn my father against me behind closed doors but, to my face, swear she was nevertheless like that. And by the way, his new wife has 7 kids and said that because, whenever my mother went to court with my father, she told me that he had an insurance policy that I was on so whenever he died I would get some money but he took me off and put her kids on their because that’s what she wanted him to do. I mean she is just a sneaky person, I don’t trust her and I never will trust her. Honestly he changed when he got with her. I’m talking bout he became lowdown. Before their marriage my father was cool, I really did look up to him. I looked at him like he was my hero. I wanted to be like him, that’s part of the reason my mother treated me so bad. But nevertheless it was a point in time where me and him got into a bad argument because I told him I hated living there and, to be honest, it was always me, my stepbrother and stepsister. I never had a problem with them even though my father and their mother said I did. The problem I had was we only ate once a day, other then that we didn’t eat no more. They never kept any drinks or juice in the house so we were always thirsty and yes I Knows water is good for you but who wants to drink water all the time. At some point you gone want something with some flavor in it, plus they were always moving from house to house to apartment, their was no time to get use to anything, their is no stability and the crazy thing is their still like that to this day. But after I told him I hated living here, we got into a argument and I left.

Remember in the beginning I told you I didn’t have any clothes, well he took all the clothes I had and kept them for 3 months. I didn’t have anything to wear but school clothes. I had to wear a white dress shirt and white pants every where I went, not to mention we only washed every two weeks plus I had a girlfriend and imagine being with your girlfriend, having to wear school clothes everywhere we went, that’s not a good feeling. Plus I have low self esteem issues and anxiety so I feel like, no matter what, somebody is always looking and somebody is always judging. My anxiety would be so high sometimes, in public I would be shaking. But I starved whenever I was at my father house. Imagine having two siblings younger then you and they starving, they hungry. That shit would piss you off and break your heart.

I got me another job at Publix, this was after the Church’s Chicken situation so I was working, everything going good then boom they start asking for money every week, it was 35 dollars, I had no problem. They would start to ask for high amounts of money and, at Publix, I was only making 175 a week, sometimes less then that. I never made over that at Publix and, when I did, it was rare. The money I was giving them, which they said was for bills, they spent on themselves and a lot of things got turnt off and, not to mention, I wasn’t The only one giving them money. Two of my other brothers were giving them 100 dollars and my sister, who just had a newborn baby at the time, was giving them money and buying groceries for them. So, when cable and light got cut off, I was pissed. It led to a big argument because my father got to arguing with my step brother. The problem is my father thinks he is so big & bad that no one can physically beat him up. I already know tomorrow ima have to fight him but I haven’t got to that part yet. So he got intimidated my brother Face tryna fight him and stuff. My father was in rev wrong for mistreating him and putting his information out that was very sacred to him so we all got into it and I ended up leaving back to my-grandmothers house which wasn’t good at all. In fact it was worse then last time if I’m being honest cause so starved over their to at times. It wasn’t as bad as with my father but it wasn’t that good either. omg story short, I ended up getting kicked out later then I’m back at my fathers house.

It’s been two years later and it’s still the exact same. It’s no food, they asking for large amounts of money. Except this time I don’t have but a job but I’m trying to go back home o my grandmothers house. I don’t know what to Do man, I’m ready to eat end this chapter in my life. People tell me that, if I was to pursue my life without my family, everything would be better. I believe it would too but i don’t know how to Get their tomorrow. I might have to fight my father and he is 365, 6 foot 2 and I’m 5 foot 11, 170. Ima Lose But Ima Give it everything i have. I been betrayed, crossed and talked about by my family. I been hurt and betrayed more by family then any outsider. I struggle with Schizophrenia, Anxiety, Severe Depression, Stress And A personailty disorder.

Right now it’s 1:00 am and I want to commit suicide. Until then pray for me...... peace ✌🏾 By the way anything I forgot or left out I will Crete a new thread for it.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
vanish

vanish

Well-known member
Forum Safety Team
Staff Member on Leave
Joined
Sep 29, 2014
Messages
2,364
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The Land of Oz
Hey CJ, just wanted to let you know your life has value.
I hope you don’t harm yourself mate. Keep on reaching out like this.
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2019
Messages
167
Location
Scotland
I really need to vent lately Life hasn’t been going good well for years my life hasn’t been going good im going to start off by telling you what I’ve been dealing starting with my mother side of family and please forgive me I’m typing fast and will not have any punctuation marks but my parents got a divorce when i was 13 and since then it’s been hell you see I come from a beneficial family where if they ask you for something and you tell them no they will ask somebody else in the family and they will talk bad about you for the remaining time of your life and sometimes after you die too I’ve been getting mistreated by my mother and grandmother since I was 13 to be honest I don’t even know why Through the divorce the judge thought it would be a good ideas if I went to therapy and it wasn’t my mother would tell me to the leave the room and tell the therapist lies about me and they believed every word she said which resulted in me taking these pills that I hated such as Abilify Risperdal Vyvanse and Lexapro don’t know what pill it was but one of those led me to the hospital crying in pain and you know what my mother did she looked in my face & laughed at me I mean my mother has abused me at one point Their was this one incident where she was in her front yard and she got shot at and she told me that she think I did it and around the time I was no where near that fucking area I was getting a barbershop that fucking lie right there could have landed me in jail my selfish mother would also go around telling people lies and saying such things as “Cj is stupid he don’t think” or “Cj Finna get out out of school” she made up so many lies but all praise be to God that I proved her wrong and I graduated but the sad part is my grandma would see a lot of things my mother said and did towards me and she wouldn’t say shit and sometimes she would take her side I remember times where my mother would put pills in my food or she would break the pills down in my water and stir it up so I wouldn’t see it you know at one point of time Their was a Chance I wouldn’t graduate due to me having to miss school for therapy my momma ain’t help me make up any classes she sat there and said she didn’t have the money and laughed but the craziest thing is when I graduated who was the main one saying they helped me it was my fucking mother she even tried to hit me in the head with a iron and she tried to beat me with a stick on two occasions I never really had that many clothes in life so the clothes I had weren’t that much at all when I would leave to go with my father she would sell my clothes or give my clothes to the thrift store leaving me with nothing in the midst of a lot of arguments we had she would call her brother which is my uncle who was a substance abuser and a person who beat on women I have heard stories he beat on my mother and beat on his daughter but he call him to try to fight me and you have to keep in mind I was nothing but 13 130 pounds and 5 Foot 7 so he weighed more The me and was bigger then me which means he was stronger then me it was Situations and things like this that made me grow up to despise my family and resent them and hate them I never really had nobody to take yo for me so it was always my word against theirs they would do and say all these despicable disgusting things and when I retaliated they would call the police and say I came out the blue acting the crazy the police were gullible to they believed every word out of it sometimes saying they would take me to jail not trying to be confusing or anything but I’m speaking of stories that happened from the age of 13 to now and I am currently 21 right now but back to what I was saying My grandma is a very outspoken person to be 79 so recently she would get on the phone with her friends and spread lies saying “ Cj lazy and he don’t want to work” or saying “Cj pathetic and he don’t do shit” and I never said shit negative to her and I never said anything for her to say those things about me I heard her say these things because I would go downstairs but never to far so when she think I was gone somewhere else she would talk loud sometimes yelling in fact my girlfriend was on the phone every time something happen I would tell her and ask her for advice but she would be speechless Maine Reason is because she never seen a person go through so much like what I go through I also told my mother like dumbass thinking she would something about but I knew she wouldn’t but by me telling her what was going on that led to a argument between me and her which ended up in the police being called me being escorted out I been kicked out I would say at least 7 times or maybe more I would do everything I could to help my grandma but I feel like she always took my help for granted I watered her flowers and I always cut the grass I washed her car I even I washed the garage I trimmed her bushes and all but that was never good enough with everything I did she would always find a complaint or something to be ungrateful about she belittled and ridiculed me about everything it was a situation where I had a job at Church’s Chicken and I had been working there for a week I was The New server I kept making mistakes and kept fucking up but that was understandable for that being my first job and me not working at a fast food place ever in my life multiple customers and associates understood but some didn’t and they would let me have a piece of their mind and me being very self conscious it got under my skin so I wanted to quit not just because of that but also it was another worker there with me who talked to me and treated me like shit so I wanted to quit and I told my mother and grandmother that to my surprise my mom really didn’t have anything bad to say but my grandma cursed me out which led to me getting angry and me saying something back she called my mom and said that I was being disrespectful when I was literally taking up for myself my mom called me and told me “get your shit & get the fuck out” which led to me and her sharing a few words so once again I was kicked out I mean my experience with family has been terrible not just my mother but also my father and this started out when he met a new woman and got married to her at the beginning I could feel her energy and her vibe and I didn’t like it but I tried to give her a chance and she always rubbed me the wrong way but I never said anything but when they got married and those times I got kicked out I would come live with them and that’s when my family experiences got worse she would always try to turn my father against me behind closed doors but to my face Swear she was nevertheless like that and by the way his new wife has 7 kids and said that because whenever my mother went to court with my father she told me that he had an insurance policy that I was on so whenever he died I would get some money but he took me off and put her kids on their because that’s what she wanted him to do i mean she is just a sneaky person I don’t trust her and I never will trust her honestly he changed when he got with her I’m talking bout he became lowdown before their marriage my father was cool I really did look up to him I looked at him like he was my hero I wanted to be like him that’s part of the reason my mother treated me so bad but nevertheless it was a point in time where me and him got into a bad argument because I told him I hated living there and to be honest it was always me my stepbrother and stepsister I never had a problem with them even though my father and their mother said I did the problem I had was we only ate once a day other then that we didn’t eat no more they never kept any drinks or juice in the house so we were always thirsty and yes I Knows water is good for you but who wants to drink water all the time at some point you gone want something with some flavor in it plus they were always moving from house to house to apartment their was no time to get use to anything their is no stability and the crazy thing is their still like that to this day but after I told him I hated living here we got into a argument and I left remember in The beginning I told you I didn’t have any clothes well he took all the clothes I had and kept them for 3 months I didn’t have anything to wear but school clothes I had to wear a white dress shirt and white pants every where I went not to mention we only washed every two weeks plus I had a girlfriend and imagine being with your girlfriend having to wear school clothes everywhere we went that’s not a good feeling plus I have low self esteem issues and anxiety so I feel like no matter what somebody is always looking and somebody is always judging my anxiety would be so high sometimes in public I would be shaking but I starved whenever I was at my father house imagine having two siblings younger then you and they starving they hungry that shit would piss you off and break your heart I got me another job at Publix this was after the Church’s Chicken situation so I was working everything going good then boom they start asking for money every week it was 35 dollars I had no problem they would start to ask for high amounts of money and at Publix I was only making 175 a week sometimes less then that I never made over that at Publix and when I did it was rare the money I was giving them which they said was for bills they spent on themselves and a lot of things got turnt off and not to mention I wasn’t The only one giving them money two of my other brothers were giving them 100 dollars and my sister who just had a newborn baby at the time was giving them money and buying groceries for them so when cable and light got cut off I was pissed it led to a big argument because my father got to arguing with my step brother The problem is my father thinks he is so big & bad that no one can physically beat him up I already know tomorrow ima have to fight him but I haven’t got to that part yet so he got intimidated my brother Face tryna fight him and stuff my father was in rev wrong for mistreating him and putting his information out that was very sacred to him so we all got into it and I ended up leaving back to my-grandmothers house which wasn’t good at all in fact it was worse then last time if I’m being honest cause so starved over their to at times it wasn’t as bad as with my father but it wasn’t that good either omg story short I ended up getting kicked out later then I’m back at my fathers house it’s been two years later and it’s still the exact same it’s no food they asking for large amounts of money except this time I don’t have but a job but I’m trying to go back home o my grandmothers house I don’t know what to Do man I’m ready to eat end this chapter in my life people tell me that if I was to pursue my life without my family everything would be better i believe it would too but i don’t know how to Get their tomorrow I might have to fight my father and he is 365 6 foot 2 and I’m 5 foot 11 170 Ima Lose But Ima Give it everything i have I been betrayed crossed and talked about by my family I been hurt and betrayed more by family then any outsider I struggle with Schizophrenia Anxiety Severe Depression Stress And A personailty disorder right now it’s 1:00 am and I want to commit suicide so if you don’t hear from me soon you know what happened until then pray for me...... peace ✌🏾 By the way anything I forgot or left out I will Crete a new thread for it

Sorry,

You need to re-edit with paragraphs and full stops.

This is horrible to read, because of the lack of punctuation.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
10,240
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
I couldnt read the whole post, i cant read massive chunks of information, but from what i did read i would say you need to get away from your mum and grandma if you havent already :hug:
 
J

Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
1,728
Location
Florida
It is best to write freely and let it all out. I hoped your post has helped I read it and you seem disappointed and lost. I have a 15 year old son who would be lost if he worked for a fast food place. My son is in High School now and this takes a lot of hard work I admire you for graduating. That is a big deal to me. Have you thought about college? Ie I know you could get support from your mom and grandma. Sorry about your dad acting the way he is. When I was your age I applied for grants and scholarships to go to college-I made it to a Masters Degree but with my mental health be so volatile I never could keep a job. I sure am wishing you best and getting further education would be a real plus for you. Lots of love and hugs No worries on puncation.
 
Edinscotbrit

Edinscotbrit

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 20, 2019
Messages
167
Location
Scotland
I Know I wrote it like this because I was rushing
Understood,

But, in future, please break it up and add punctuation. Otherwise, it`s not worth the effort if you have to break it up.
 
S

savedbygrace2019

Member
Joined
Aug 5, 2019
Messages
24
Location
Texas
Geeze and I thought my family sucked. :( cut them out of your life you'll be better for it.
 
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